Complex Emotions (or Lincoln's Beautiful, Dark, Twisted Reality)
by FiveInTheMorn
Summary: After Lori drunkenly rapes Lincoln in his sleep, his mind starts to break, each of his sisters ponder what he actually means to them, and everyone learns the harsh truth of being unable to change the past in the form of kids being conceived. Follow the Loud siblings through a deconstructed version of the Sin Kids AU.
1. The First Attack

**A/N: Hello everyone! This is the first story I have ever posted on this website. Yay! Hopefully, my writing meets any standards you may have going in. I've written for multiple cartoons in the past, and right now, the Loud House has been the show that has sparked my creative side, particularly the Sin Kids AU.**

**The Sin Kids AU has hooked my interest over the past few weeks, mostly thanks to the fanart I've seen. If there is one type of story, though, that I wish existed, it's a deconstructionist fic that calls out the inherent issues with incest and what it can do to familial relationships. I'm sorry, but as someone whose religious, I just can't bring myself to support and cheer for incestuous relationships. Yes, I realize that may be a contradicting statement, considering I've been seeking out good fan works for this universe, but the story potential, character interpretations, and artistry are just too good to pass up. Besides, the kids, themselves, aren't the ones that did anything wrong. That would fall on Lincoln and his sisters.**

**It was with all of those thoughts that led to this story being made. A story where Lincoln's reasons for sleeping with his sisters aren't tied to romantic love, but a broken psyche caused from his sisters' bad decision-making.**

**Most of that comes later, though. For now, enjoy the first chapter. Hope you like it. Thanks for giving it a try, at least.**

**Warning: while not too detailed, rape of a minor lies ahead. Read at your own risk.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Loud House. I only own the idea for the story.**

* * *

Alcohol is one hell of a substance. One minute, you feel perfectly fine, and for some people, better than before. Next thing you know, however, you're stumbling anywhere and everywhere, you have no idea what it means to see straight. It also makes you do and say things that were better left to the mind. Alcohol is both a truth-telling serum and a very aggressive wingman, constantly goading you to do things that shouldn't be done, putting your own satisfaction ahead of any and everyone else. Depending on someone's tolerance, one can either be smart enough to fight it or just give in completely to whatever desires you feel.

For the Loud family, they were in the latter category. One big rule Rita and Lynn Sr put themselves on was to keep the house as dry as they possibly could, so as to keep their kids on the straight and narrow and not tempt them in any way. They were fairly certain their kids had about as good a tolerance as they did, and they were the adults. Yes, both parents had extremely weak tolerances when it came to alcohol. It didn't take a whole lot to get them drunk, and once they were, steer clear of any bedroom, bathroom stall, or unlocked backseat when both of them were in the same building. Seven, count 'em, SEVEN of their kids were the products of drunken sexcapades the two partook in, all of whom were Leni, Luna, Luan, Lincoln, the twins, and Lisa.

The kids were lucky their parents hadn't put themselves in truly dangerous situations because of drinking. Neither of the two parents ever drove drunk and they never had a case of waking up nude in a back alley somewhere covered in bruises. The worst they ever suffered was waking up in the back of Vanzilla, naked, and a flashlight being shown in by a police officer, citing them for indecent exposure. It was that incident that convinced them they should limit their drinking to when they were home and the kids wouldn't see it, so after the kids went to bed.

That rule had loopholes in it, however, and one was that it never applied to the kids when they brought their own drinks home. They never enforced a dry rule on their children, hoping that strong parenting and talks about alcohol would stave off any bad decision making by them. They could not have been more wrong about that, proven when Lori had her first drink. She had come home from college to celebrate her 21st birthday with her family and wanted to celebrate with drinking beer with her parents.

They had several, and the two parents celebrated with yet another run to the bedroom (though they could keep calm about having another child since Rita had a tubal ligation done and Lynn got a vasectomy done after Lily's birth to prevent future pregnancies. Eleven was as far as those two were willing to go). Lori, meanwhile, had the fun of getting drunk for the first time as a Loud. Her vision was horribly impaired, she didn't know what it meant to stand up straight. She was also feeling really hot and bothered. There was a sudden need for her to just run towards the nearest man and take all of her clothes off, letting him do whatever he wanted to her. If she were at college, she would've just ran straight to Bobby and let him do his thing, that wasn't who she wanted right now. In her drunken state, she carried her desires to an extremely dangerous territory, her very drunken mind prioritizing her own lust over social taboos and the law. She wasn't lusting after her boyfriend, Bobby. She was lusting after her own fifteen-year-old brother, Lincoln.

It made absolutely no sense. Lori was always satisfied when she and Bobby did it, and she was never the type to want sex on a frequent basis. She always put focus on her goals, working hard studying and being active in the clubs she was a part of on campus. Heck, she even found a new passion in persuing a business management degree, actually enjoying the classes she was taking for it and scoring highly on every test she took. Everything was going good for her. She had no reason to go after Lincoln...or at least, not when she was sober.

See, subconsciously, Lori had always had a really small and hidden affection for him, one that wasn't an affection that an older sister would normally have for their brother. She had plenty of affection in him being her little brother, and it was the only affection that showed when she was alert and conscious. However, deep down, there was a sense of desire for her to make sure Lincoln was being treated right. Her bonding with him made her care much more about him and wanted to make sure he was happy. If anything bad happened to him, she would be out for blood. Whenever she went to Bobby's, she would stink-eye Ronnie Anne if she thought the girl was planning to prank Lincoln.

Her appreciation for him had developed into something more than simple affection for her younger sibling. She had officially developed a brother complex.

She began worrying a lot more when she wasn't around him. Would he go where he wasn't supposed to? Would he get shot? What about stabbed? Maybe someone would try to drown him in a fountain and she wouldn't be around to help him. She recognized that these thoughts were not like how she used to think about her brother and locked herself into the bathroom to have a silent chat with herself. She looked at herself in the mirror and started to remind herself that Lincoln was a good kid who wouldn't take the dangerous routes. He cared about his sisters and they cared about him. It would be silly to think that he couldn't make the right decisions if she, or any other sister, weren't around to protect him from all the dangers of the outside world. This made her think to herself 'Look at me. I'm literally becoming mom.'

She knew she couldn't protect him from everything the world had to offer, but she could at least start with herself. She made it a point to never try to hurt Lincoln in any way, but instead be the person he could run to if he ever needed someone to comfort him. She wasn't always the most approachable person with how authoritive she could be before she turned 18.

In the present, though, she was drunk, far too much so to remember her promise to not hurt him. Instead, she felt like she should make it up to Lincoln for all those years of hurting him. One thing Lincoln was always good at that his sisters weren't was his willingness to correct any and all mistakes he ever made. His sisters could be touch and go about righting their wrongs, but when it came to Lincoln, it was all but fully guaranteed. Two instances, in particular for her, fueled this thought. The first was the time where he covered for her at her job after he abused her kindness. He skipped out on a party he wanted to go to so she could go to the dance that was the very reason she got the job to begin with. She also remembered when he stole Bobby away from her, always acting like bros while she was just the third wheel. Seeing her upset made him give Bobby back so she could be with the love of her life again. She saw him as the best of them in her current state, and she wanted to make it up to him for every time she didn't try to fix things with him. What better way to do that than to give herself up entirely to him?

She found Lincoln passed out in his room, apparently a side-effect of one of Lisa's experiments he agreed to test for her. Lisa gave him an ointment that was supposed to extend how long the human body could go without water for several weeks. A side-effect was that it knocked you out into a deep sleep while it analyzed the subject's personal body and activate accordingly so the person could function like they normally do.

Lori tried to wake him up, but it was of no use. While she couldn't pleasure him while he was awake, at least his unconscious body could still enjoy it. She proceeded to say "You wouldn't mind, right Lincoln? This is what you deserve, after all" in a very slurred manner, took her clothes off, and went about doing whatever she thought he would like on top of him.

She thought they would both enjoy it. He gets to feel amazing and she gets to feel good about making things up to her brother. So why was she crying, then? Rather than revel in the feeling, she was acting like she was desperate, but not for sex. She wanted forgiveness. Alcohol, as stated earlier, is a truth telling serum, giving the people who drink enough to suppress any sort of negative emotion the chance to actually speak what was on their mind. In her past, she thought she was horrible to him, one of the worst sisters ever, constantly threatening him with physical violence, always trying to control him in very strict ways, taking advantage of him. To the outside eye, however, that didn't seem too bad if you got the whole picture. They both were selfish and tried to get the other to do things for their own gain. That's just regular sibling dynamics, really, and besides, they weren't situations that could be categorized as dangerous, and they still cared immensely for one another. Yet alcohol was also a wingman, and a very bad one at that. It could make someone really overthink things if they didn't have their emotions fully in check. This was the chance for a person's inner demons to take hold and drive them to do something most sober people would never do. She truly believed she had failed him in the past…and she thought that this was the best way to make it up to him.

She started putting more effort into what she was doing. At first, it was slow and steady, doing what she thought he would like the most. In drunken desperation, however, she started ramping up her efforts, going faster and trying to push him deeper in. This increased effort started to get the better of her, and she started to moan, absentmindedly forgetting that all of their sisters were home that night.

The first sister to take notice was Lucy, the moaning making her think there was a ghost in the house. Score! She quickly closed her poetry book and headed out of her and Lynn's room to follow the sound to its source. She thought this was going to be great, validation for all her hard work at trying to contact the spirits for so long and finally getting a response in the physical world. What would she ask? What was the ghost like? Did they know great grandma Harriet? Oh, the stories that the spirit could regale her. She was so excited.

…That is until she made it to the source of the noise. It was coming from her brother's room. Was the ghost actually there for him? Being the ghost-lover that she was, she had to peak her head into his room to find out. Once she saw what was actually making that noise, she never felt such a rush of fear flow through her in her life. Her legs had no feeling whatsoever, her voice was gone, and she felt like she was going to start violently throwing up.

Despite being a year shy of a teenager, she was still around the age when puberty started for girls, which meant the talks about everything sex-related started for her. The usual beginner's talks of conflicting emotions, bodily changes, and things of that nature were starting to be discussed with her by her mom, or some of her sisters if they thought they could help her. That said, even she knew what it meant to give consent, and she didn't see any sign of Lincoln's body consciously moving along with Lori's, not helped by seeing his head lifelessly bobbing around. Poor Lucy was just starting out with puberty, and here she was witnessing two of the most reviled types of sexual encounters. This was incest, and to make it worse, rape.

None of the other girls had noticed this noise, yet, having been too caught up in activities in their own rooms to care too much, or in the case of Lynn and the twins, having fun outside. Lucy knew her parents were drunk which usually led to them falling asleep earlier and being really hard to wake up until the next morning. Besides, they were on the floor below anyway, so too much time would pass getting them. She had a range of sisters to call on, but she didn't know which one, so to get their attention, she simply started banging on the walls in the hallway. Part of this was to get her sisters' attention, but also try to let some aggression out of her system. She would've wanted to be the one to help Lincoln, but her size compared to Lori would've made it impossible to fight her off. She wanted to help, yet all she could do was watch as her brother got abused.

Both Luna and Luan heard the banging and walked out of their room to see Lucy slapping and punching the wall, noticing tears falling down her face.

"Hey Lucy, you okay?" The two older sisters were quick to run over to her and Luan tried to calm her down.

"Lincoln…" she responded. "He needs our help!" She said this with as much emotion as she could while practically dragging her two older sisters to Lincoln's room. Now, they could clearly hear the moaning, which they thought was coming from Lucy doing any number of occult activities she often did. The moans clued them in on what was happening, and in the span of less than a second, Luna put two and two together, her big sister mode kicked in, and she sprinted right into Lincoln's room just as Lori had reached climax, Lincoln's body having done so before the sisters entered the room.

Witnessing the sight, Luna had enough adrenaline running through her body to probably rip the teeth out of a great white shark. She practically suplexed Lori off of Lincoln and delivered a series of harsh punches right to her face when she was on the ground. Luan, meanwhle, made a beeline for Lincoln, noticing his naked body and a complete lack of consciousness from her younger brother. Tears began filling her eyes as she realized the situation, and she cupped her mouth and fell to her knees in agony over not figuring this out sooner. She started to get angry with herself, wishing she took the moaning seriously. Maybe she could've gotten Lori off in time. Maybe this never would've happened to begin with if the her and Luna had just left their door open. Any number of things could've stopped this, but it broke Luan that none of those things ever came to fruition. This was all too real, and she felt sick to her stomach.

She turned her head to see the fight between Lori and Luna getting more even, the punches to her face sobering Lori up enough to try and fight back. Luan couldn't help but run over and, with a feeling of rage inside of her that was very uncommon, kneed Lori right in the abdomen before delivering one more punch to her face. This seemed to be enough to keep Lori down for the count.

Rage was still plastered all over the faces of Luna and Luan, but they were in control enough to not throw anymore physical attacks at her, Lucy shivering in fear just beyond the door. Instead, they venomously asked one question.

"What...the heck...is wrong with you?" Luna couldn't have made an angrier whisper if she tried.

Lori seemed fully aware of everything now and looked to see that her clothes were on the ground, her brother was laying naked and unconscious in his bed, and that while her face and stomach were aching, her legs felt slightly numb. The realization hit her harder than a freight train running at full speed. She practically did the same thing Luan did earlier in cupping her mouth and crying hard. She all but forgot that there were three upset (to put it mildly) sisters in the same small room as she curled up into the fetal position and balled her eyes out, feeling nothing but self-loathing throughout her entire being.

As much as her sisters wanted to hurl every sort of inappropriate insult and physical attack her way, they held back, noticing that Lori had finally come to realize what she was doing, though that did nothing to make them feel any sort of pity for the girl. As such, Luna harshly grabbed Lori's shoulders and, with Lucy following her, took Lori into the bathroom while Luan stayed behind to watch over Lincoln. She wasn't sure if he was going to wake up at any point before morning, but she'll be damned if her brother was vulnerable to anyone else tonight.

She looked down at his peaceful form and helped put his clothes back on. Of all the people on earth, Lincoln was not someone who deserved to have this happen to him. Lord knows what he would do if he ever found out.

* * *

**A/N: The event that starts everything off is now in the books!**

**I'm actually surprised by this fandom's lack of fanfiction centering around the concept of the sisters having a brother complex. That just seems like such an obvious idea for a story, where the sisters act very protective of him because of all the times he has helped him out. Oh well. That just means more stuff to be written in the future, then.**

**Hope you enjoyed. If you did, hope to see you next chapter (which may take a couple weeks because yay finals week). If you didn't, thanks for giving it a try anyway.**

**Hope everyone has a wonderful day!**


	2. Innocent?

**A/N: Well, this story certainly took off. Thanks a lot for all the kind feedback, follows, and favorites. I even got added to a couple favorite authors lists just for posting the first chapter of the story. That's insane to me! Again, thank you all for showing how much you like the story. I've been really hooked on it, too, planning it out when I haven't been studying. That included making a storyboard for the whole plot, adding to the title, and writing this chapter. I even got a few detailed ideas in for chapters down the road. **

**Speaking of this chapter, holy crap, did this thing have more words than I thought. I was expecting only 3k but it reached 5k. As such, for fear of making this chapter drag on longer than people would've liked, I decided to cut back on a few plot points I would've otherwise included. With that said, there's already a lot that's going on in this chapter, so I don't feel too bad about splitting it. It works with what I planned with the storyboard, anyway.**

**Finally, I apologize for not mentioning this in the previous chapter, but I'm going to follow (for the most part) the standard age-gaps between the Sin Kids. There is just no way I could write this story if Lincoln nailed his sisters in the span of a week or something and give it the meaning it should have. As such, this story will feature timeskips. Sorry for not clearing that up sooner, but I want the kids to have proper purpose when they do show up. Their age and interactions with everyone will have plot importance in the future, so it's why I'm going that route.**

**Now with all that said, please enjoy this next chapter**

**Disclaimer: The Loud House and characters belong to Nickelodeon. I only own the idea for the story. **

* * *

Luna dragged Lori all the way to the bathroom and threw her to the ground. The latter girl didn't care too much about being jerked around as she immediately went for the toilet to throw up, making Luna and Lucy cringe at the sound of how powerful it was coming up out of her, and the heavy scent of alcohol staining the vomit made the other two girls leave the room just so they didn't join in on the puking.

Eventually, Lori got rid of everything in her stomach and went to take a shower. She really did need to clean herself up thanks to all the sweat, but she also just wanted to sit in the tub and let the water hit her. She didn't lock the door, and so the other two sisters rejoined her in the bathroom, Lucy making a run for the air freshener to cover up the lingering scent still hanging in the air.

The rocker nineteen-year-old had enough time to think while her older sister was exorcising her guts, and she held herself back just enough on the account that Lori was doing it while drunk. That didn't excuse what she didn't in any way. Rape is rape and should be treated as such, but Luna was of a clear enough head to start interrogating her older sister.

She wondered what the best question to ask first was. Lori clearly felt regret at what happened from her crying and getting sick, and being too confrontational may make her withdrawn. Luna also didn't want to be too lenient in her interrogation because Lori didn't deserve it. Eventually, she just settled on "So what the hell can you tell me?"

"I…I…" Lori was still too traumatized to say anything coherent. She was laying curled up in the fetal position, silently letting tears fall. She wasn't full-on crying. Instead, it was more along the lines of being in a depressed daze. It seemed like a nightmare, having sex with her little brother's sleeping form. She was supposed to be the one to look out for him and protect him from any woman who might want to do him harm. As it turns out, she was that woman.

"You need to tell us something. Your lucky I'm giving you the chance to explain yourself and not call the cops right now." She was right. In the state of Michigan, rape of a minor who's a family member stands as criminal sexual conduct in the first degree, punishable by at least 25 years in prison. Lori was on the hook with three witnesses who could testify against her. There was also the tendency of convicts attempting to kill fellow inmates who went after children. One of the more universal unwritten rules among criminals is that children should be left out of the actual crime if it can be helped. Only cowards went the route of hurting kids.

Lori had everything to lose if she said the wrong things. She needed to speak candidly and say the truth to the three sisters who saw what happened. It wasn't just that she was afraid of going to prison and possibly dying, what she was more afraid of was the prospect of never being able to apologize to her brother before she went away.

She pulled the curtain back on the shower and told her sisters "After I'm done in here, we'll talk in your room."

Luna and Lucy nodded, making sure she was held to her word.

* * *

After Lori cleaned herself up, she met with Luna and Lucy in Luna's room. Luna tried to get Luan to join them, but she was feeling way too protective of Lincoln right now to leave him for the night. Luna gave her sister a pair of pajamas to change into and watched over Lincoln as Luan brushed her teeth and went to the bathroom in record time. At least Lori was nice enough to wipe down the toilet with a disinfectant wipe after she got out of the shower. Luan didn't want to be away from Lincoln any longer than she had to. She rushed back to Lincoln's room and settled next to him for the rest of the night. It helped her knowing that, even with what happened, she was there now to protect him from anything else.

Lori sat down with Luna and Lucy and began discussing all of her feelings leading up to the attack and what she was feeling as she was doing it. She talked about her increased protectiveness of Lincoln over the years thanks to all he's done for her. She explained the guilt she felt for not doing enough to make things up to Lincoln when she wronged him. She explained how much better of a person he was than her. She explained how she thought this was the best way to make it up to him. Now feeling sober, she had to wonder why she thought that was a genius thing to do to begin with, even when drunk.

The thing about alcohol is that it is entirely possible to remember the events that took place while the person was drunk. It woke up all of Lori's emotions about her little brother, and she was keenly aware of everything she felt while drunk. She became very upset when she thought about how she actually thought these things about him. It scared her to think that she was the person that he needed to be protected from the most.

Well, not just her. As much as they didn't want to admit it, both Luna and Lucy could empathize with Lori here. They had all grown protective of Lincoln over the years thanks to his willingness to help and his efforts to always try to fix his mistakes, among many other good attributes. He was kind, he was sweet, always willing to help when he could. He got involved when they wanted him to. He got involved when they didn't want him to. His sisters' happiness was always above his own. He had patience. He had understanding. If he screwed up, he would work to fix things. They even grew to love his physical attributes that he felt insecure about at one point or another, such as his white hair or his chipped tooth.

Maybe spending your entire life surrounded by other girls, having just one male present that you could empathize and suffer through things with could warp your senses into feeling something you don't want to feel. It didn't help that Lincoln had all of those good attributes to him. They all but grew up with an almost perfect guy. Really, if what was on the inside was what really mattered, you couldn't ask for anyone better. It actually started to make some of them upset that he was their brother because they each felt he deserved a girl like themselves, someone who would take care of him and knew him better than anyone else.

They all knew, though, that doing what Lori had done was in no way a good thing to do. Everyone could agree that Lincoln would not want his own sisters to force themselves on him like that, and he was not the type of kid to partake in anything that had the potential to damage the relationships he already had with them, much less a societal taboo. They were all aware that incest was a terrible thing that had disastrous consequences in a variety of ways.

Still, they had their thoughts, and Lincoln was always there ready to help them in any way they wanted. A couple thoughts, once in a blue moon, were X-rated, but most of the time, they just wanted him to sit there and comfort them in some way, whether it be just having him sit there while they ran their fingers through his hair, them laying on his chest, anything that would've calmed them down in real life. Sometimes, they were under a tree on top of a hill overlooking a valley. Other times, they were curled up next to a fireplace. It was amazing how much he could put them at ease, even in their own thoughts.

As much as Lucy and Luna wanted to dwell on their own thoughts about Lincoln, they still had the matter of rape at hand. Luna looked at Lori, and even though her sister's words made her think about how she viewed Lincoln, she was still looking at the woman who raped their brother. She said one thing to Lori.

"Get out."

The oldest sister wasted no time in doing so. She stole a glance at Lincoln's room before solemnly walking back to her room and continued crying.

Lucy looked over at Luna after Lori left and she asked "How are you feeling?"

"I hate her right now. She should be in the back of a cop car right now." Luna should've sounded angry, but her voice sounded more like she was frustrated at the moment, and not just with Lori. She was also upset that her sister's words rang true with her. "But I feel her. The lil' dude really is the best one out of all of us."

"He is."

Both were left to ponder how good Lincoln was to them. They felt conflicted between being even more upset with Lori because of what she did or if they should hate themselves for thinking Lori had a point. Lincoln really did deserve better than what the sisters usually subjected him to, and it only made them feel worse about how they all let this situation happen. None of them were ever willing to atone for things the way Lincoln did, and they always just took him for granted. Now they had to deal with the fact that one of them actually thought having sex with his sleeping form would make it up to him.

The two sisters called it for the night, believing sleep would help them out. Who were they kidding? With what they saw that night and what they were left thinking about, they'd be lucky to get even an hour's worth of a power nap in.

* * *

Lincoln woke up the next morning to a beautiful ray of sun shining into his room. Today was beautiful, and it made Lincoln feel good the moment he woke up, though the dream he had last night may have had something to do with it. He immediately noticed some pressure on his shoulder to see someone's hand there. He whipped his head over to see Luan sleeping right next to him. He suddenly got very worried that the dream he had last night actually did happen with one of his sisters. He lifted the covers to see that both had their full clothes on. He also felt around his crotch to see if there was any dampness. He didn't find anything immediately wet, but his underwear did feel a bit more uncomfortable this morning. He even felt around to see if there were any spots that were stickier than others, and he found a couple. Great. He had a wet dream during the same night one of his sisters came in and bunked with him, though he wasn't sure why the dream he had last night only gave him what was probably a very weak orgasm. The dream he had probably should've left a much more visible reminder. He also didn't know why she had come in, but he just assumed she had a nightmare and came to sleep with him. Even with several of his sisters being adults, he was still the person everyone wanted to sleep with if they were ever scared about something.

He actually felt pretty good this morning. Aside from having to work out a couple stiff spots, he felt like he woke up from one of the best sleeps he ever had. Whatever that stuff Lisa gave him was, he was tempted to ask for more of it just for the side-effect alone.

He eventually stirred out of bed so he could properly stretch his body out, knowing full well it would wake his sister up. Eh, who cares. He had joints he needed to pop. As expected, Luan woke up from his movement in getting out of bed.

"Morning, Luan."

"Morning, Linc." She wiped the sleep out of her eyes and started to show worry on her face, the events from the previous night still fresh on her mind. "You…doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm feeling great" he said, working out his muscles. "That stuff Lisa had me test made me sleep beautifully." He worked out one more muscle in his back before he finished. "So, d'you have a nightmare last night or something?"

Her face showed a look of surprise. "Huh?"

"You weren't here when I went to bed last night. I was just wondering if you got scared about something last night."

He wasn't aware of what happened last night. Luan didn't know whether or not to be relieved about this. Sure, that means he wasn't scarred, but now, she has to wonder if anyone should ever tell him about it. For now, he deserved a lie.

"Oh…I-I was, but you don't have to worry. Just a bad dream I had last night."

"You sure? If you want to, you can tell me about it."

"I-it wasn't anything major. Just a dream about some family troubles is all."

He let out a small chuckle. "Trust me, I've gotten those before, too. Don't worry about them too much, though. Those worries eventually go away." He pulled off his pajama shirt to change into a regular shirt. Luan couldn't help but notice Lincoln's build in muscle he got since he entered puberty. It was definitely kind to him.

He quickly spoke again. "Oh…and uh…sorry if you noticed anything…weird with the sheets last night. I…had one of those dreams."

Luan had no idea how to respond to that. Did he actually have no idea what happened last night, and yet, he had a wet dream anyway? She looked at him right after Lori was pulled off of him. She didn't notice any signs that he was awake at all, yet his mind made up a dream about it?! She could only assume that the woman in the dream wasn't Lori if he wasn't profusely blushing when he first saw one of his sisters that morning.

Lincoln wasn't about to tell her what happened in the dream (because who in their right mind wants to talk about their wet dreams with family), though he had to admit, it was a really beautiful dream. First came the woman with a face he had never seen before, yet it was the most beautiful face he had ever seen. She got on top of him and rode him at an almost perfect pace. All around him, he was surrounded by the color red, with two red waterfalls on both of his sides, and two masterfully painted walls when he looked down and up. The sky (or ceiling. He couldn't tell which one it was) was a beautiful shade of sunset orange with clouds rolling by, and it was dropping rose pedals all around the table he was laying on. Apparently, even God felt sorry for Lincoln, because he gave him the most beautiful dream in the face of the pure horror of what was actually going on in real life.

He asked Luan to give him some privacy so he could change his underwear and pants, wanting to change into clean clothes for the day and not have to constantly feel being slightly wet around his crotch. When she left, Luna was just leaving the bathroom, and she beckoned Luan after checking to make sure none of the sisters who didn't know anything were around.

"How's Lincoln?" was the first thing Luna asked after she closed the door to their room.

"He's fine. He doesn't know." This sent a wave of relief through Luna. She didn't want to even think about what being awake during that would feel like.

"Thank God."

"Yeah, but…I don't think he's fully shielded from last night."

"What do you mean?"

"He had a wet dream."

Luna's eyes widened and her mouth dropped. "A-A wet dream."

"Yes."

Now it was Luna's turn to wonder how that was even supposed to work. It also made Luna worry about something else. Even if he wasn't awake when he was raped, did he enjoy it?

"Luan? Did…you ask who it was."

"No. I wanted to, but he probably wouldn't have appreciated me asking. Seeing how happy he was this morning, I'd have to guess it wasn't Lori." Another wave of relief from Luna. "Speaking of her, d-did she tell you anything last night?"

"She did. I'll tell you." The two sat on Luan's part of the bunk and Luna proceeded to tell her sister about everything Lori had told Luna and Lucy. Meanwhile, Lucy got a glance of Lincoln coming down the stairs. Her face had worry written all over it, even if you could only tell by her mouth being open. He seemed in a good mood, though, too good for someone who was raped. He must not have known.

"Hey Luce" he called out from the stairs. She all of a sudden felt very reserved.

"Uh…Hi Lincoln." She curled up on the couch, pulling her knees to her face.

"Uh, you doing okay?"

"Y-yeah. Just getting over something I read last night."

"Hm. Must've been pretty emotional if it got to you."

Meanwhile, Lori was still in her bed, wrapped in a blanket. There was almost no sleep for her last night. Just enough so that she wouldn't feel tired but may have some problems thinking fully coherently. Leni wasn't at home that morning, since she wanted to meet up with her boyfriend, Jared. She wasn't awake when the whole ordeal took place, since she, too, took the ointment (having someone else do it with him made Lincoln feel better), and she woke up at around the time Lori nodded off.

Lori heard a knock on the door and could guess who it was before the two ladies decided to let themselves in, anyway, both of whom had very unsatisfied looks on their faces. She had grown numb to the insults by morning, though, and decided to let whatever happen happen. It's what she felt she deserved. Instead of another beating (which she was reminded of with her somewhat swollen cheeks that morning), she was told by Luna "Lincoln doesn't know."

Lori had no clue how to respond. Whatever she was feeling, it didn't stop more guilt from flooding her after a couple seconds passed. "We are not about to tell, but you had better be prepared to make this up to him, somehow."

Lori looked up at them with a shocked look and just nodded. Luna wanted so badly to deck her sister in the face again, but simply turned around violently and stormed out of the room. Luan just turned around in anger before calmly walking out of the room.

How do you process this? Her own brother didn't know his sister raped him. She should've felt good at this revelation. It meant he wouldn't be terrified of her, and yet, it still felt so wrong. Him not knowing doesn't change the act itself. If he had a surgery and wasn't awake for it, the surgery still happened. The sad thing about that metaphor was that it worked quite apposite, considering both topics involve someone getting scarred in some way.

For now, that didn't matter, she wanted to see her brother as his usual self. She immediately jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to see Lincoln at the dining table eating some cereal and watching some of his sisters goof off in the living room. "Hey Lori."

Just seeing him not have a care in the world and him saying her name so calmingly made her eyes tear up as she ran around the table to envelop him in a hug.

"Uh, good morning to you, too?"

She unwrapped him, and with tears still falling, let a smile show, happy he was still his normal, happy self. She wrapped him in another hug. "Sorry, I'm just really happy to see you this morning."

"Did you have a nightmare, too, or something?"

"You could say that."

Lori let go of him as he finished his bowl and carried it to the kitchen, stating "I swear, did everyone have a nightmare last night? Does this have something to do with one of Lisa's experiments, cause if so, I'm very happy I wasn't a part of that one." That last part made Lori cringe. Lincoln, most certainly, would NOT have enjoyed what she did to him last night. It also reinforced her resolve to make it up to her brother.

* * *

For the next few weeks, things went by about as smoothly as one could expect. Lori was back at college while everyone else was back at school. Lincoln didn't notice too much out of the ordinary, aside from Lucy being more timid and clingy towards him, while Luna and Luan played 20 questions with him whenever he wanted to go out by himself, with all of the questions being safety-related. Jeez, those nightmares must've really scared them if they were being this protective. Whatever, they were just nightmares. Their effect would wear off eventually.

Lori didn't make it up to Lincoln that day on the account of her finally realizing the effects of a hangover after her seemingly 12-hour-long adrenaline rush. Their parents revealed that she had drank a few beers with them last night and that she was dealing with her first hangover. Lincoln played nurse with her all day in bringing her water every now and then, the first trip being with a normal dose of aspirin. Again, too nice to live with such ungrateful sisters, she thought. The next week was a trip to the mall to get him a couple new sets of clothes, under the guise of "I just want to do something nice for you. Y'know, for a change." His fashion sense had changed in the past few years, going from orange polos and jeans to light-colored t-shirts, black jeans, and jackets, his favorite one being one with a white top half and a black bottom, a few thin black stripes running near where the white turned into black. It was Christmas gift he got from Leni last year, along with a pair of running shoes that had a similar look to them, with black toes that transitioned into white heels.

Obviously, it would take a lot more than simply buying him clothes to make up for what she did, but it was a start. It seemed like things were on the up and up…until about a week and a half after their shopping trip and Lori felt cramping and thought she was having a period that was very unusual for her normal cycle. This sent a panic through her, as she researched this enough to know what this meant, but she still didn't want to believe it. That Friday, she drove straight home, stopping at the pharmacy to pick up a few tests, five of them to be exact. She called Luna earlier to make sure she was there when she returned home. The two weren't exactly on the best of speaking terms, though they had made efforts to try and mend the bridge. Even so, Lori felt Luna deserved to know, seeing as she was the one who was Lori's voice of reason in all of this. She really hoped this wasn't what she expected it to be.

The moment she reached home that night, she took the bag containing the tests and booked it upstairs to the bathroom, not even saying hello to anyone in the living room, though Luna was quick to follow her sister the moment she walked through the door, fully anticipating her arrival.

She used every test, and all of them came back with the reading she hoped she wouldn't get.

Positive.

Both of the siblings wanted to vomit, since they knew exactly who the father was. Lori actually did, while Luna stayed strong and held her stomach in check. Just when everyone thought of this mess as something that would be put past them, this gigantic thorn was thrown in. God always loves finding ways to remind people of just how bad they screwed up.

Luna could only feel an agonizing rush of emotions to her brain, as she had hoped this whole thing would have only a small mess to clean up, but this, THIS? This would never be something to go away easy, and she shouldn't have dreamed so big to think that it would. These are never easy messes to clean up. After Lori had enough composure to respond to any question thrown her way, Luna asked "So what now?"

"I have no idea. I'm pregnant…pregnant…" After jail, this was the next worst thing, having to be constantly reminded of what she did in the form of a child to bear. Neither of them were celebrating, but on the other side of the door, there were seven girls whose range of emotions could not have been more black and white. On the one hand were Leni, Lynn, and the twins, who were all jumping up and down at the prospect of getting to be aunts. Lucy and Luan, on the other hand, knew the child's origins and reacted much in the same way Luna did in the bathroom, going between making agonized facial expressions and covering their mouths with their hands trying to process the information. Lisa just stood there, an angered look on her face. All of them continued listening in, with the four excited ones starting to get put off by the tension that Luna and Lori were feeling, while the other three just stood there, knowing the exact feeling the two girls in the bathroom were going through.

"Lori, there is no way you can keep it."

Lori just looked at Luna with the face of a shell-shocked soldier after witnessing the death of his fellow men. "Do you really think that will fix things?"

"What are you supposed to do? Have the kid and hope to God Lincoln never finds out about it?"

The main four outside were puzzled. Lincoln? What did he have to do with the child?

"If I got rid of it…it would only make matters worse if-"

Luna snapped back at her "How?! How the FUCK would keeping this kid possibly be good in any way?!"

"THINK ABOUT LINCOLN, OKAY?!" She took a couple heavy breathes before continuing. "HOW THE FUCK do you think he would feel if he found out not only what happened, but that his own child was aborted without him knowing it was even his?!"

"Which is why I'm telling you he never has to find out if you just get the abortion!"

"And how can you guarantee that?! There are four people in this house who know about what happened! Do you really trust ALL OF THEM? LINCOLN'S OWN SISTERS! To not let it slip up at some point?!"

Luna was stumped. She had hoped they would, but the fact that it was Lincoln they were talking about made things incredibly complicated. Sure, they could try to keep this a secret and pretend like nothing happened, but it was entirely possible that one of them would become so guilt-ridden that they reveal everything to him in the form of a drunken meltdown or any other form of self-destruction. There really was no good side to pick.

"I've been haunted by what happened ever since that night. This just proves that I need to set things right. Lincoln's going to find out. I'm telling him everything. About the rape. About our child. What happens to it will be up to him to decide."

She cleaned everything up and walked out to see four incredibly confused and saddened sisters in her way. They heard everything. They knew who the father was and how it was made. The other three just stood to the side, with Lucy and Luan just showing defeated looks on their faces, and Lisa giving Lori the same stare she was giving the door. Luna decided there was no point at hiding anything from them if they heard everything the two girls said. She came out of the bathroom and told everyone "Sister meeting. Now."

Everyone made their way to (what was, and still is when they stayed over) Lori and Leni's room. After everyone passed her, Luna caught a glimpse of Lincoln in his room, his noise-cancelling headphones having blocked out all the yelling so he could concentrate on a drawing he was working on on his laptop, his backed turned so he didn't see any of his sisters at the other end of the hallway. He probably only just recently opened his door, probably to let some air in, since he probably would've seen Lori come home or his sisters huddled around the bathroom door, otherwise.

She noticed how calm he felt, how at peace he seemed as he focused on his art, the dim lighting in his room courtesy of a lamp their mom bought him only adding to the relaxing atmosphere in his room. She remembered seeing one of his drawings for the first time and being awestruck at the detail. She was so proud of her brother for having finally found his calling, and seeing him now, seemingly so content with life, it made her sick to know that he would soon find out the truth of what happened to him.

Lori was right. He needed to be protected, for all of their sakes.

She entered the room and closed the door so the meeting could start.

* * *

**A/N: Chapter two is now in the books!**

**Sorry for anyone who wanted to get Lincoln's reaction in this chapter, but like I said, I was pushing 5k and I didn't want to drag the chapter on any longer than i felt it needed to be. Next chapter should see his reaction, though.**

**Let me know what you think! Next chapter should be up next weekend at some point. Like I said, finals are this week and I'm swearing off any writing until Friday night comes around. **

**Thanks again for all the support. I've never had a story blow up like this before.**


	3. Dark Reality

**A/N: What's this? A chapter that's even longer than the last one even though I was complaining about chapter length last time? Well, that's what happens when an author's need for precision takes over. There was a lot I wanted to fit into this chapter, with my selfish writer mindset telling me to not cut anything like I did last time. Everything that's here is something I felt needed to be here, and that includes the amount of content I squeezed in. As such, despite it's length, this chapter is fairly fast-paced. Still, my apologies if almost 8k words in a chapter is pushing people's limits. Again, I felt this chapter needed to have everything I put in.**

**Also, I lied last chapter. I actually did write as the week progressed while I was studying for finals (all of which I passed and ended the semester with a grade no worse than an A- in my classes. WOO!). What can I say? I'm having too much fun planning and writing this story. So without further hold-up, please enjoy my latest chapter! I'm actually quite happy with how it turned out, so I hope all of you are too.**

**Disclaimer: The Loud House and characters belong to Nickelodeon. I only own the idea for the story.**

* * *

"RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH"

Lola lunged forward and wrapped her hands around Lori's neck, pinning her to the ground and choking her. Luna and Luan immediately rushed forward and pulled the ten-year-old off of Lori, but that didn't stop her from putting up one heck of a fight and trying to break free from the older girls' grasps as she was legit ready to murder her oldest sister. You know Lola is upset when she can see messy hair strands in front of her face and not make any sort of move to fix them. It was one of the _very _rare times Lola had no concern for her appearance, not when she had her own brother's rapist in front of her, ready to be given hell.

Lori had spilled about everything the night she attacked Lincoln. The drinks, the feelings…the act. She left nothing to be left to the imagination as she laid everything out to her sisters. Everyone who knew just kept their heads turned, eyes closed, and crying contained as they had to _again _listen to living through the worst event this family has ever had to deal with, while everyone who didn't know reacted in their own ways. Leni was busy crying her eyes out, Lynn was laying an assault on Leni's bed in frustration as she shed just as many tears, Lana shook like she was at the north pole without a proper coat, and Lola jumped Lori.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM?!" There was no calming Lola down after this. She was out for blood right now. Lori could only crawl away in terror after she regained her breath, never stopping from rubbing her neck. "YOU'RE HIS OLDER SISTER!"

"Lola…" It was Lucy who was speaking. "Calm down."

"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!"

"But I will, anyway. I hate Lori just as much as you do, probably, but going into a blind rage isn't going to do anything useful."

"DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT SHE SAID?!"

"I told you, I hate her, too, but she's not worth it. At least, not for us."

"HOW IS SHE NOT WORTH IT?!"

"Because Lincoln should be the one who decides her fate." This was the sentence that seemed to calm Lola down some. Her anger was still there and she was breathing very heavily, but Lucy had a point. Lola knew that if she was the one that had been raped, she would want to be the one to deliver proper justice to her attacker. Lori was not worth her energy, it was Lincoln who should be the one to delivers Lori her just desserts.

Lynn was able to contain herself enough to speak up. "Lincoln…you said he doesn't know anything yet?"

"No. L-like I said, he…was asleep when it happened." Lori was still a bit shaken from her brush with death.

"And you're going to tell him?"

"Y-yes, he…he deserves to know."

Now Lynn was in no way the genius that Lisa was, but she had to wonder if that was such a good idea. She had been through high school health classes enough to know that a person's psyche is very fragile when it comes to abusiveness. It wasn't exactly the norm for people to respond to abuse with a good mindset. She was also taking a psychology class this year and knew that a person's established personality can play a big role in how they respond to heavy events. In the case of Lincoln, an artist and super hero geek who cares about his sisters more than anything else in the world, she could only guess that this wouldn't be a simple '_it's okay. I forgive you' _type deal. Really, she wondered if they would be lucky if Lincoln ever talked to anyone ever again.

"Are you really sure you want to do that?"

"Yes."

"Without question?"

"If I may intrude, I believe it would be good for our male sibling to know about the events that took place during that unfortunate night." Lisa spoke up. "Sexual assault is not something to be taken lightly, and with Lincoln, it's entirely within the realm of possibility that his body still contains the remnants and memories of what happened. The dream he admitted to having on the night of the attack proves that, while his conscious memory may not have recollection of it, his subconscious is aware, having been informed by what his own body was feeling."

"Wait, wait, how do you know about that dream?" Luna asked. The original four from that night all suddenly remembered something. The camera system. Lisa knew, and probably watched it live as it happened.

"You were aware Lincoln was getting attacked and you didn't do anything about it?!" Luna was not happy with her Brainiac of a sister.

"I'm eight-years-old if you can't remember. Not exactly a body made for much physical exertion just yet!"

"And you couldn't just use a weapon you have stashed somewhere?!"

"I'm a _scientist, _not an arms manufacturer."

The room filled with a mixture of more crying and arguing before Lucy pulled out a klaxon to shut everyone up. "Look, we all know what happened that night and what everyone was doing, but all of this crying and shouting isn't going to help us figure out a way to make telling Lincoln the truth as easy for him as possible, or how we can help him through it."

"Lucy's right. Lincoln needs our help now more than ever, and we need to make sure he will still be that brother that we all know and love."

Everyone could agree with this. As much as everyone wanted to go around playing the blame game with each other over who should've done what that night, Lincoln was the only true victim in this, and he should be the focus of the girls. They immediately got to work thinking of how to make his situation as bearable as possible.

Lincoln, meanwhile, was just heading back up the stairs after getting a drink of water in the kitchen. He still hadn't heard much of anything other than the music he was blasting through his headphones, a pair that was a gift from Luna for his birthday several months ago. Now he could understand why she loved this brand so much. The bass and noise-cancellation were spectacular.

Lincoln noticed, coming up the steps, that the doors to all of his sisters' rooms were open with the exception of Lori and Leni's room. Must be a sister-only meeting. Still, he was a Loud, after all, and snooping was a collective pastime shared between the siblings. He paused the music he was listening to, pulled his headphones down around his neck and leaned in to hear.

"So what do you think I should do?" asked Lori.

"Be as honest with him as you can. There's no point in hiding anything from him." Luan gave that suggestion.

"Are you completely sure about that? Do you see Lincoln as the kind of guy who can take truths like these well?" Once again, Lynn showed a cautious side to explaining everything to him.

"Well, how else would you do it, Lynn?"

"I'm…not entirely sure, but I would rather Lincoln be told something that's easier to handle than what-" Lori cut her off.

"Lynn, you have to understand that Lincoln wouldn't want to be lied to. There _is _no easy way to break this news to him and that's why I need to come clean with everything."

"You're going to traumatize him!"

"I'm making things right! If you were the one who did it, wouldn't you want him to find out sooner or later."

"I'd want to make it easy for him to stomach everything and not cause him to go into depression."

"Like you probably heard behind the door, there are _four_ people who saw what happened. You can't strongarm every one of them to keep quiet for that long." That was a scenario that Lynn had no answer for, and it didn't help that those who saw weren't afraid of Lynn's threats of physical violence, especially Luna who, as the years went by, could sometimes beat her out in strength. Plus, their allegiance would be with Lincoln, so the threats she could throw at them would fall on deaf ears.

"Look, I don't really know, alright. I just…want what's best for my brother."

"We all do, sis. The lil' dude deserves a lot better than this but lying to him won't make things better. I'm with Lori in that he should be told everything."

"Will he be the same, though?" Lana spoke up.

"We can't guarantee that, sis."

"No!" Leni's level of sternness in her voice surprised everyone in that she was crying only a couple minutes earlier. "If there is a chance Linky gets hurt from this, we need to be careful about how we tell him."

Lincoln felt like he was watching a movie that was building up to a huge revelation. What? Tell him what? What happened to him that they are so unsure if should even know about it or not? It couldn't have been good, though, and if he didn't get his answers by listening into the meeting, he WILL confront Lori about it, seeing as she seems to be the one at the center of it.

"He's already hurt, Leni. There is literally no way of sugar coating it!" Her breath became shaky as she recalled what she did and what became of it. It was as if screaming it out for the world to hear was helping her come to terms with it all. "I…I…I FUCKING RAPED HIM!"

What? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That couldn't be right. Lincoln just misheard everything, right? His own sister? That's ridiculous! It couldn't be true.

"I was drunk, I was really stupid, and I thought having sex with him would make it up to him for being a terrible sister, and now I'm pregnant because of it."

His eyes darted in every direction, his breath was inconsistent and choppy, and he felt like he was on the brink of fainting. She did that? She raped him? And it was her way of trying to get him to forgive her? While drunk?

The dreams he was having suddenly started to make sense. After the first dream he had during the night in question, he started having it again and again, except there was always something different that happened in it each time he had it. It went from sexy and beautiful to sometimes tense and even scary at times. The woman's face changed each time he had the dream, and the room he was in changed. He remembered two, in particular, that he had during this past week. The first one had a room that was as if it was from hell itself, with walls of fire on either side of him while the walls in front of and behind him oozed blood. The woman who was riding him, and this was the part that really scared him now, was, in fact, Lori. This being a dream, he didn't find any sort of issue with it, going along with it and enjoying it, his mind making him forget the fact that she was his sister or the nightmarish imagery surrounding the two. The second dream had a basic color scheme of red and black, but it wasn't realistic in nature, as it had a very overly-animated appearance like a character from an anime might experience as they descend into madness. There were no walls this time, but he was surrounded on all sides by a raging red inferno that looked as though if you tried to pass through it, you would disintegrate. The floor was black, and it made Lori's red, almost silhouetted form stand out, even with the flaming (if you could call it that) backdrop. Both times, he woke up at the climax, their sexual screaming being the last thing that he heard before he shot awake to notice his sheets soiled. Like he told Luan, dreams were just that, dreams. He never hung up on them and would always wake up to remember that Lori was his sister. Now that he heard her say everything out loud, dots started connecting in his head.

…That's why his pants weren't soiled too much that night. He didn't feel much of an aftermath from his dream because, instead of ejaculating in his pants…he did it in her.

…That's why she was pregnant.

And his mind wasn't just making him dream about his sister because he had the mind of a teenage boy going through puberty. It was because his body got a taste of what it was like to have sex with her.

It's why Luan woke up with him the next morning. He wasn't sure if it was because she saw what happened and wanted to protect him or if she took part in it, but he never saw her face in one of his dreams, so it was probably the former. He remembered Lucy's clinginess, and how timid she was the first morning to be around him. He remembered Luna and Luan being very protective of him in the weeks following.

They knew. They all knew (or at least, they did now).

If Mount Everest had a cliffside that dropped all the way down to sea level, the impact from jumping off may not have compared to Lincoln coming to realize everything.

'_My sister…she raped me. Everyone…found out before me…they didn't tell me anything. The child…is…mine. The dreams…actually happened. They weren't nightmares. I…enjoyed them.'_

Each thought came with Lincoln's blood running colder and more sweat running down his body. He had completely tuned out of his sisters' conversation at this point, as they continued debating if it was best for him to hear the whole thing.

"is it possible to at least attempt to keep things easy?" Lana asked.

"What can she say? _'Hey Linc. Sorry about having sex with your own sleeping body and getting pregnant with your child. No hard feelings, right?'_"

"Not funny, Luan."

"Believe it or not, I'm not trying to be." She got agitated saying this. She wasn't exactly in the best emotional state over these past few weeks due to witnessing what was going on, only being able to feel spirited enough to perform stand-up again this week, mostly thanks to Lincoln's cheery and oblivious attitude towards everything that transpired. "How would you feel if you walked in to see something like that?"

"Come on, Luan. Chill out and save it." Luna came over and worked to calm Luan down, who was none too pleased with her sister for working her up, even if she was the one who escalated it.

"Guys, we're getting nowhere with this. We need to focus." Lucy was trying to be play peacemaker with everyone.

"I think Lori should confess everything to a judge, and then rot." Lola was still none too pleased with Lori.

"I'm trying like crazy to fix things with Lincoln and all you're focused on is me going to prison?!"

"If you're so worried about going to jail, then you shouldn't have ASSAULTED HIM TO BEGIN WITH!"

Lori was pissed by this point. She felt nothing but guilt about this whole situation, and believed she fully deserved to stand trial for what happened, but her sister won't even give her the time to try and make things right with Lincoln? That did no sit right with her.

"You can yell at me all you want…but I still feel nothing but guilt about what happened and I'm going to make damn sure I fix things with our brother."

"Linky doesn't deserve to HAVE you as a sis-!" She was cut off by the sound of a bang emulating outside the door. Everyone immediately thought a collective _'Oh Shit!'_ (with Luna actually saying it) and ran right out the door to see Lincoln leaning on the wall a couple feet away from everyone. His face had a look of shell-shocked terror on it and they noticed his phone laying on the ground his hand shaking and still shaped as though he was holding it.

His face, his dropped phone…

'_He heard'_

Every sister thought this but no one was brave enough to do anything, almost as petrified as Lincoln himself was. Leni tried to make the first move. "Linc-". Her voice snapped him out of his trance as he darted his head upwards to look at his sisters. One step backwards. Two. Then he ran to his room and closed the door.

His sisters followed suit after he closed it, but none of them could figure out if they should go in or not. After all, what would they say to him? They all gave a scared look to each other before resigning themselves to this and not go in. They all went back to their respective rooms after that.

* * *

Each sister now had the time to properly think about what they had heard that night, and more importantly, how they felt about Lincoln. Lori was now completely lost. Lincoln found out, but it wasn't because she told him directly. She couldn't admit her guilt to him now as she revealed everything. This is not how it should've gone down. All she could think of now was his face, his shell-shocked face. She had never seen her brother so scared in her life, and she never wanted to see him like that ever again…but none of this would stop her from talking to Lincoln, anyway. She'll give him some time, and afterwards, she'll talk to him and let him decide what she should do.

Leni was curled up in the fetal position on her bed, staring at the wall rather than her roommate. She wore a sad look on her face as she thought of all the happy times she and Lincoln had when they were both younger. She loved Lincoln, and seeing him so scared broke her heart into tiny pieces. She was one of the sisters to have the thoughts of Lincoln being with her in her time of need, how he would lay on her lap and nap while she would gently run her fingers through his hair. She now wondered if that idea could ever be reality after everything he learned that night. Would he ever allow his sisters to even touch him again? All she could hope is that her Linky would come around and be normal again one day.

Luna already knew her feelings on everything. She hated Lori and loved Lincoln. Now, she wondered what she could do to help Lincoln. They spent a lot of time agonizing over how to tell him and, here, he found out by them not being careful about what they were saying out loud. Now all she could think about was Lincoln between then, when he didn't know, and now. He used to be so happy, but now he was scared, and she wasn't sure of who. It hurt her to think that he could be afraid of her. She always loved him and was usually one of the sisters to make life more bearable for him. She held him when he was much younger, singing to him, playing to him. Maybe that's why she always tried to shield him from her lifestyle away from home, where she wasn't afraid of different kinds of experimentation at afterparties of small gigs she played at. The freaky shit that went down made her want to protect him from anything that could take away his innocence. Now that he knows everything, she wondered how much innocence he had left.

Luan couldn't get her mind to stop thinking about Lori's words that still hung in the air. Her words about becoming protective over him as time went on and how far one of them was willing to go in blind emotional turmoil. She could still think back to when he was so little and how much his sisters loved having a brother in the family for a change. A highlight for her came when she was four years old, where she was allowed to hold a sleeping Lincoln while their mother was off doing something. As he slept, he grabbed her shirt in the cutest possible way he could and buried his face deeper into her chest. She would never get over how adorable he was and how she practically died from his cuteness. That may as well have been a whole different reality, now.

Lynn couldn't help but think _'I knew it'_ as she lazily tossed around a tennis ball in her bed. She knew Lincoln may not have the mental fortitude to handle hearing his attack just get dropped on him like that, though she didn't expect him to find out by eavesdropping. Guess it was something that everyone did, not just the sisters. She also felt a bit crappy for her own treatment of Lincoln over the years, treating him more as a prop than a proper human being. Lori was right, she grew to care about Lincoln so much over the years thanks to his helpfulness and his will to simply handle any bad situation in the name of his sisters. She actually started to wonder if she would ever meet a better guy than him. Why did they have to be brother and sister? _'Oh Fuck. Lori really was right, after all.' _She could only empathize with Lori now as she started to understand her own affections for him coming to light, and it wasn't helping her that she was thinking about Lincoln getting more muscle as he progressed through puberty. She started to wonder: did she have it in her to do the same thing Lori did, and how could she make sure that wouldn't happen?

Lucy could only stare into space as she thought about Lincoln. It was _her_ job to be depressed, not anyone else's, and the fact that it was Lincoln didn't help. He was always the guy to try and make things better for everyone. If he didn't have a plan, he would make one. Lucy needed that in her life, a constant source of optimism that balanced out her moodiness, something her sisters couldn't be trusted with. Now, there was no plan other than hope that Lincoln gets better somehow. She knew one thing: that task wouldn't be hers. She wasn't sure she would ever be able to get over what she saw the night this all started…or forgive herself for not acting sooner or better.

The twins were both feeling upset, though Lana was sad while Lola was a combination of sad and angry. Lincoln was their peacekeeper, almost a glue in their relationship. Yes, they were twins, and therefore drawn to each other anyway, but they never forgot the role Lincoln played in helping them out when they fought. They also wouldn't forget what he did for them individually. Lana always saw him as a trusted caregiver she could count on when it came to her pets. He never let her down, but he would occasionally get injured doing so, sometimes with a snake bite, other times a spider bite, and the occasional rat bite. This was always fixed with a rabies vaccination by Lisa, as well as brotherly perseverance to make his sister happy. She started to feel like a complete jerk for never taking his injuries seriously or doing more for him than simply saying thank you. She always hated Lola for taking advantage of others, but that's exactly what she did to Lincoln.

What Lana didn't know about Lola were the reasons behind her getting Lincoln to do so many things for her. Yes, her methods weren't the best, but she felt it was the best way to simply get him to join her in doing something, be it being a butler for her tea party, coaching her, painting her nails, and other stuff. The main reason for it all? Lola just wanting to spend time with her brother. She literally just wanted him to be there with her doing something she liked. She knew she would never get into things like comic books, manga, anime, what have you, but that didn't stop her from wanting Lincoln to always be close by. For as questionable as her execution was, the motives were pure, and she started to understand this around this time last year. Now, she was afraid she may never be able to fully make it up to Lincoln for her treatment of him in the past. Her anger was diminishing into a more somber mood.

Lisa was busy working on her studies in her room. While she wouldn't reveal it, she was actually suffering a huge amount of guilt and self-loathing right now. After all, it was _her_ experiment that was the reason for Lincoln not being awake to fight back. She saw herself as the main culprit in all of this as she practically gave Lori the keys to his room to go in and do whatever she pleased, a though that was quite apposite with the fact that she didn't even bother locking his door on her way out after she checked to make sure that he was comfortably in bed before the ointment took effect. She then got to sit back and watch in terror as Lori entered the picture. She paced around the room for a few minutes trying to think of something that would help Lincoln, but she was so caught up in trying to find a solution that Lucy had beat her to it and, by then, Lisa really didn't have much of a role to play anymore. It was with all of this that she couldn't concentrate on her studies for more than a few minutes after the attack ended that she took the ointment and lathered it all over, as though she was trying to overdose on the stuff as punishment for her sins. The ointment didn't work like that, and all it got her was a full day's worth of sleep. Thinking back to that day, as well as any time she used Lincoln as a lab rat, made her feel sick. She shut down for the night upon realizing nothing meaningful would come from her for the rest of the night. Not with Lincoln on her mind.

* * *

Lori felt that a half-hour was good enough to wait before talking to him and so, with all the fear in the world, she made her way to Lincoln's room. She cracked the door open to see Lincoln curled up in the fetal position facing away from the door. She wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not, but she entered the room. "Linc?" Hearing her voice made him curl up even more.

"Lincoln, I…I know that I might be the last person you want to talk to right now, but…I just really need you to hear it. I'm sorry, Lincoln. Honest to God, I am…" She started tearing up now. "I-I was supposed to look out for you. I-I'm your big sister, and I f-failed at being that. I hurt you, a-and I'll never forgive myself for doing that. I got p-pregnant with your child and…O-oh God, what have I done?!"

She completely broke down now, a crying mess on his floor as he still refused to look her way. She couldn't see it, but he was crying, too. It was a mix of different emotions hitting him all at once. He heard her admit her crimes right to him, to destroy any shred of possibility of this being one big elaborate joke put on by his sisters. It was true. He really wasn't innocent anymore and could never go back to those days. He felt like he had a whole part of his life forcibly ripped away from him and he could never see it again.

But he also heard his sister. Just from her voice, he could tell that the words were sincere. A guilty person who isn't sorry for their crimes doesn't work that hard to make their voice break the way Lori's did. Lori wasn't even much of a good actress anyway, so she wouldn't have been able to pull this off in a believable manner. He felt his brotherly side come into focus, and he wanted to forgive her if it made her feel this distraught. His other emotions wouldn't forgive her so easily, though. She betrayed him in ways his sisters have never done before and certainly not of this magnitude. She's responsible for violating him, getting pregnant with him without his consent. It was a war of emotions in his head that made him not turn his body and cry.

After a few minutes, Lori gained some composure to continue speaking. "Lincoln…I want you to know that you have control in this situation. If you want me to turn myself in, I will. If you want me to get an abortion, I will. I know…growing up here, you were never given much control over things, so I want everything to be up to you." She took a deep breath to gain control over her emotions. "I know I already said it, but I'm really sorry, and despite not telling you this a lot…I love you. More than either of us deserve."

Lincoln pondered those words. Did he really have it in him to call the cops on his own sister, despite her crime? Did he actually want to get rid of the child he just found out he had? He asked himself these question as he heard Lori say "I'll give you some time to think it over." Just as she was leaving, Lincoln flung his arm out to grab her own. He didn't even look when he did it, getting a perfect grab on his first try. He didn't want to have to leave the sanctity of his own room later, so he thought it best if she was there with him as he made it. Plus, he wanted her to hear his decision as soon as possible.

The logical side of Lincoln kicked in as he first thought about the child. Now there were some inherent issues that came with having an inbred child. Any number of bad genes could be passed down to that kid that would make them hard to raise, a laughing stock to other kids, and would keep the kid itself from living the best life it could possibly live. He tried to put himself into the mind of a kid like that, having physical disabilities such as facial asymmetry, a poor immune system, a higher risk for different heart conditions, genetic disorders. He shuddered at bringing a kid into the world that had so much to suffer from the moment it exited the womb.

He also thought about growing up in a family of sisters, particularly how fond he was of his little ones. Lucy never really annoyed him and was always good company to have around, despite her tendency to scare him, and that she was a genuinely kind and loving person. The twins, especially as infants, were nothing but adorable with him, always cuddling into him when they needed to feel safe or because they just felt like it and always preferring him to the rest of their sisters to play with. Individually, he always had a good relationship with Lana, never minding to do things for her, despite the risks he was taking (hello animal bites and potentially ruining his school life) and he had grown to form a really close relationship with Lola over the years, especially this past year where she always seemed to put so much focus on him whenever they played together. Lisa wasn't exactly much to brag about, but like Lucy, she made good company. Really, he didn't have much to complain about with them.

And then there was Lily, sweet, beautiful Lily, the baby of the family. The relationship between the two of them could not have been better, really. From the moment she was born, Lily always seemed to have a fondness for the boy, though that was always just chalked up to him being the only male sibling compared to the nine sisters she had. Even babies could tell the differences in things. But it always felt more personal with him. She was almost a combination of the many good traits he could think of when it came to his other sisters, particularly what he liked about Lola. Both were affectionate beyond belief, both always showed a preference for Lincoln over the others when doing different stuff together, and both had a tendency to have Lincoln be the one to comfort them in tough times. The only major differences were the lack of a bratty attitude in Lily (though Lincoln noticed Lola losing that attitude towards him as time went on) and Lily having similar interests to Lincoln. It was a blessing that Lily wasn't there that night, being out with her parents to do a bit of late-night shopping when their wasn't much of a crowd to worry about (Lily had to have picked up Rita's pension for shopping if they've been gone for about two hours now. God bless Lynn Sr.), so everything wasn't known to her. He felt a need to keep it that way, to protect her from ever finding out about what Lori did. It was his big brother instincts kicking in to want to protect her from the horrors of the outside world…just like what a father might want to do with their own child.

The idea of innocence popped back into his head. Lily still was. He remembered what the twins were like when they were still toddlers. Lucy may have never been innocent, but she was definitely more so than she was over these past few weeks. He remembered how much he loved being around his sisters when they were just having fun without any sort of care in the world.

There was no feeling he could compare to it, and with that, he made up his mind.

"Lori?"

"Y-yeah?"

He turned to her for the first time that night. "Keep it."

* * *

The rest of the night was the two of them ironing a few issues out between them. Lincoln wasn't past the shock of finding out, as evidenced by him not looking at her for the rest of the night. At least he was forming coherent sentences and speaking clearly. He told her that the decision to turn herself in was a decision he left entirely up to her. Putting her away would feel hollow, as serving justice goes only so far in a person's ability to make peace with a situation, especially if the victim and perpetrator were close. It wouldn't allow him time to properly talk with her, allow him time to observe her efforts in trying to make things right, which she seemed to hint at, if giving him the ability to choose her and her baby's fate was any indication. If he just put her away, he couldn't hold her to that, and he wouldn't get everything he wanted to be able to fully make peace with what happened. She already apologized, and now he wanted to see if she meant, and how far she was willing to go to make it up to him, and for something like this, there was _A LOT _to make up for.

Her ability to forgive herself and face proper justice would be something that only she could figure out, though he did advise her that turning herself in would mean not being around for their child. He ordered two things. One, she had to check in with Lisa to see if there was anything she could do to both make sure the baby would be born healthy and mask the DNA that would point back to the kid's inbred origins. Two, love that child more than anything in the world. Lori got the kid through devilish means, so the least she could do was be the best mother ever as a way to try to make it up to Lincoln. He wanted to be in the child's life, but when he couldn't, he wanted to know that she was being treated and raised right. The talk was good, and both felt more at ease after it, though Lori tried initiating contact between them a few times, such as touching his shoulder or hugging him, and every time she did, he curled back into a ball. Looks like he wasn't completely over everything.

This was also evident in the months leading up to their child's birth. Lincoln may not have been in the depressed state some of his sisters may have feared he was, but he did show sporadic behavioral tendencies. Sometimes, he would just sit quietly and not say anything unless he absolutely needed to, preferring gestures and head movements. Other times, it was as if he was trying his best to impersonate the crazy tendencies of Mel Gibson's character from Lethal Weapon. One time, in particular, stood out to everyone. He was downstairs making himself a peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwich, Lucy and Leni sharing the kitchen with him, when Luan came in and asked Lincoln how he was doing. With speed, his voice started out low but picked up as he said everything, not even stopping to take a breath anywhere in between.

"Me? Me? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? I'm mean, I know that sometimes, bad things happen, but today? Not today. Nothing to complain about on my end. I mean, I only live in a house where all of my sisters find out about everything before I do and love to make things more difficult for me in any way they can, but heh, heh, heh, no issues to complain about on my end. I'm mean, what else is there to say on my end other than that I'm feeling FUCKING PEACHY?!"

He slammed the knife he was using to spread the peanut butter into the sink, making everyone jump at his sudden outburst and the loud clanging sounds that followed. He picked up his plate and stated "I'm going to my room. Don't bother me unless you have to" before speeding away up the stairs. The sisters were left dumbfounded and scared that their brother made an outburst like that. It was that quick monologue that they started to understand how deep this all ran with him. As a collective, they all seemed to play a silent role in all of this in the years leading up to it.

A few more outbursts like these came up, some in front of his parents, which his sisters covered for by saying that growing up in a house full of ten sisters that weren't exactly the kindest to him growing up may have finally started taking a toll on Lincoln's mental state. The parents contemplated having Lincoln see a therapist, but Lisa advised against it, saying she would take that role on herself, though she did give a list of medications that could treat schizophrenic behavior. They brought her along to consult a doctor about it and the parents settled on getting Lincoln a prescription of Zyprexa. The sisters were none too happy when they found out Lincoln would be having to take medication for his behavioral pattern. They tried helping him any way they could to try and keep his mind off of things, but helping on the outside is different than helping on the inside, and Lincoln still didn't seem to be coming to terms with everything he was told by Lori.

It wasn't just him trying to get over Lori's admission he was trying to come to terms with, either. During one of his sessions with Lisa, he admitted to her that he was having fairly frequent sexual dreams, and they ALL revolved around his sisters. These weren't tame dreams, either. His mind was practically working overtime to think up some of the most nightmarishly sexy imagery it could. He heard amplified moans, he was always surrounded by red and velvet whatever, and he could swear that his sisters almost always came to him in the form of succubi. The images still hung fresh in his mind when paired with the overtly sexual images his mind came up with, their satisfied forms rocking with him, their hips swaying, their moans echoing. It was like extremely artistic porn on steroids. He'd be lying if he said they weren't phenomenal dreams (as evidenced by him waking up to soiled pants and bedsheets), but the fact that it was his sisters was what was getting to him. His mind was doing everything it could to make him lust after his own sisters. He had to deal with two things that were driving his mental state right into the ground.

When he wasn't worried about trying to keep himself together, he was worried about his child. Lori did what he asked and saw Lisa for checkup and DNA masking. The child was, thankfully, forming without any physical deformities, so she (the sex being found out when Lisa gave her an ultrasound) would grow up happy and healthy, pending that she would also have a healthy mind. She was also able to scramble the child's DNA, so Lincoln's genetic trace could not be found from things like a blood test. Lori was also lucky enough to have the world's best boyfriend in Bobby, where she made up a lie that he had accidently gotten her pregnant one night. Lisa was able to, at least slightly, make the child his when she had him come over to the house one day to take a blood test, under the guise of checking his blood for any negative genetic issues he might be harboring, only to inject Lori with a really small amount of it so that the blood could be absorbed by the growing fetus (thank God his blood type was O negative). Everyone doubted that this would do anything meaningful, but at least the kid now had Santiago blood in her.

Every time Lincoln would see his daughter on the ultrasound screen, he didn't see a reminder of his attack, or any lost innocence that came along with it. He saw a child, his child, his daughter, whom he couldn't always be around for. She was going to grow up to be beautiful, he just knew it, but he wouldn't always be around to watch her grow up. He wasn't sure what was more painful to think about, the baggage that came with his rape or the fact that he wouldn't be able to watch his own child grow up until she finally decided to move out on her own. It was his resolve to make every moment he spent with her count, and to be the one whom she would want to turn to in times of turmoil. He wanted to be the best person in her life to make up for not always being there for her, Lori and Bobby be damned. Lincoln knew who the real father was, and fathers always form tight bonds with their daughters.

* * *

Nine months came and went, and on January 28, Lori and Lincoln (and Bobby) welcomed a baby girl into the world. She was beautiful, a healthy child whose cries made Lincoln's soul want to jump out of his own body. Lori looked at her like a loving mother would, a loving gaze that said "I promise to love you, no matter what." Bobby could only cry as he witnessed the child he would father for the first time.

Much to Bobby's disappointment, Lori kept good on her word, and Lincoln was allowed to pick the name. He had thought long and hard about this, as he wanted her name to have meaning for him. His mind kept going back to the events of that fateful month where his life changed forever. He remembered talking with his sisters about everything that happened, what Lori did, what Lucy did, what Luna did, what Luan did. The constant he found in their stories, besides the obvious one, was the special sort of kindness and protectiveness that one of them showed. He remembered being told about how her first concern going into his room wasn't on Lori, but on Lincoln, making sure he was okay. He remembered being told how she refused to leave his room for anymore than a few minutes, wanting to protect him and comfort him, even when he wasn't aware of what happened. He remembered waking up in her arms the next morning.

He remembered her attempts to help him through all of this in ways Lucy and Luna didn't. They seemed paranoid, more afraid of what might happen to Lincoln rather than helping Lincoln in the moment. She did, through a bunch of ways. She would work extra hard to pinpoint the type of humor he loved and tell him the jokes she thought he would love, which he usually did. She showed patience with his mood swings and listened when she felt he needed to talk to someone. She didn't try to calm him down and make him be quiet if he needed to vent about his frustrations with his sisters or anything else that was on his mind. She seemed to be acting more like his therapist than Lisa did.

Out of everyone, while he appreciated each of his sisters' efforts to help him, one stood out as the most loving and caring out of all of them.

Luan.

A simple letter change and his child's name would be perfect, his own way of saying thank you for everything Luan did for him. He even wanted her in the room when he made the choice.

"What'll it be, Linc?" Lori asked. He told everyone and he could hear Luan give a small, thankful cry through her hand-covered mouth when he said it.

"Loan."

* * *

**A/N: Like I said, this chapter had a lot to pack in. Lincoln's reaction, his sisters' emotions, Lincoln's decision regarding the baby, Lincoln showing signs of psychological damage, and Loan's birth. I felt it important to include Loan's birth in this chapter for the simple reason of wanting to include a genuinely happy moment for Lincoln. Considering everything I put him through, he deserved to have a nice moment to balance out all the other issues he now has to deal with.**

**With this chapter in the books, thanks a lot for reading and I'll see you all for the next one!**


	4. Gorgeous

**A/N: Welcome to yet another chapter of Complex Emotions. This one is going to be much shorter than the last one, as I didn't feel the need to include as many groundbreaking events as last time. Everything here is something that I felt needed to be here, and in this case, not too much. Aside from how the chapter ends, this mainly acts as a character study of sorts, as we get to see both Lincoln, the father and Lincoln, the victim. There's only so much detail that can be devoted to talking about something before it gets boring to read, and the last thing I want to do is get bored reading my own story.**

**Now, with that out of the way, let's see how Lincoln handles being a silent father, as well as other things he's being silent about.**

**Disclaimer: The Loud House and characters belong to Nickelodeon. I only own the idea for the story.**

* * *

It pained Lincoln to not be able to hold his own daughter. He had to watch as Bobby sat there, holding the child the man played no part in conceiving. Lincoln wanted so bad to walk up to him and yank Loan from his arms, but for everyone's sake, he held himself back.

"You okay, Linc?" asked Luan.

"I'm never gonna get to hear her call me dad." He promptly walked out of the room, aggressively too. It was another harsh reality lesson that Lincoln would have to deal with. He could never let his own kids see him as their father, only their uncle.

It wasn't long before Bobby brought out the newborn, wrapped in a blanket, so that both sets of parents could see their new grandchild. After that, the rest of the families got to see. The odd one out was Lucy, who seemed more concerned with Lincoln than happy about Loan being a healthy child. Even Ronnie Anne, a girl who wasn't what one would call a sappy individual, couldn't help but give the child a big hug when she got to hold her, wearing a very uncharacteristically loving smile on her face. Lucy, however, could see his disdain for the situation all over his face. He wanted to be the father, the person who would be his daughter's protector, the one to chase off boys as she grew older. Being relegated to uncle could not have been a bigger gut-punch to Lincoln. Having suffered so much in the past year, he could now add 'inability to care for his own child' to that list as well.

"Lincoln…" Lucy pulled Lincoln out of his self-pity session. "I know it hurts that you won't see Loan all the time, but you'll still get to see her. Lori hasn't shut you out, at least."

"Do you really think saying that is going to make me feel better about all this?"

"No, but…I just thought it was worth reminding you that not all hope is lost."

"This coming from the brooding teenager?" It was amazing how different his voice sounded now thanks to puberty.

"Yeah, I see the irony." Lucy didn't know what she was trying to do with this conversation. She couldn't blame Lincoln for being so upset. She would be, too. It's just that she didn't want Lincoln to become a lost cause. The old him was never coming back, but at least he had the potential of being a helpful big brother still.

Keeping his voice hushed, he said "Look Lucy, I'm thankful that you're trying to make me feel better about this, but this is _my _kid we're talking about, something that we can't reveal to anyone." He looked up and glanced at Bobby's smiling face that had happy tear marks on his cheeks. "Not even Bobby…no matter how painful it is."

Lincoln turned around and Lucy could only watch as her brother left the hospital, his absence going completely unnoticed as everyone was so focused on Loan. Lucy turned to see the crowd, particularly the faces worn by her parents and Lily. They didn't know the baby's true origins and would celebrate her as though she was the product of a perfectly ethical sexual encounter. This was anything but, but Lucy had to keep her mouth shut. They didn't need to know, and Lincoln wouldn't want them to know. As kids, everyone made a habit of keeping secrets from their parents that may get them in trouble. Now, they had to keep the most agonizing secret of this family's history under wraps. Lucy could only resign herself to the situation as she went back to join her family, with thoughts of Lincoln weighing heavily on her mind.

* * *

Lincoln was counting his blessings over the past few months. Lori and Bobby requested that their families help look after Loan while the two of them finished up college. It was insisted by Lori that her family do more of the babysitting because, having grown up in a house where there always seemed to be an infant, they would be better prepared to look after the baby. Lynn Sr and Rita were always the ones prepared to handle much of the responsibilities, seeing as their other kids had school as well. Luna was the exception, as she was part of a band that, while not being signed to a record label, had a massive online following, the money she got from streaming being more than enough to cover living expenses, so she could watch Loan during the day while the two were at work. Oh, how Lincoln had come to hate high school now. His own daughter was home and he couldn't take care of her. When the final bell rang and he made it home, though, nothing else mattered to him other than Loan. Rita gave him permission to watch her on the condition that his schoolwork wouldn't suffer because of it. The first thing he did when he got home was his homework. After that, it was all Loan.

He held her, he played with her, he rocked her to sleep, he fed her, he changed her diapers, made her laugh. He was making good on his promise to be as good a dad as he could given the situation. The best part? Loan was attached to him almost immediately. Either the trust she was beginning to feel in him or the natural connection a baby has to their parents, she seemed to be drawn to Lincoln. When she was pulled away by one of his sisters or parents, she would get agitated, wanting to return to Lincoln's comforting embrace. When she was given back, she calmed down, hugged him, and napped peacefully. Seeing the bond that was forming between the two, he was given the official duty of caring for her whenever she visited when he wasn't focused on school. Rita and Lynn noticed how happy the two were with each other, so it only made sense that she would be cared for by the person she gave the easiest time, too.

One thing that being Loan's caregiver did for Lincoln was that it really helped him with the challenges he was facing mentally. He could finally take his mind off of things and focus on someone who legitimately needed his attention. He even managed to sleep better with Loan near. Rather than his lust-driven dreams, sometimes he went dreamless while other times he was given one about playing video games with her, watching movies, really anything bonding-related that the two could share together. These being dreams, something would always be off, such as Loan speaking complete sentences in her baby form or being married to somebody, whether it be someone he knew from school or even one of his sisters, and being that it was Loan, it was mainly Lori whom he was married to. He didn't mind, though. At least they were different to the dreams he had with her normally, and by God, did he need a break from those.

When Loan wasn't around, he continued to experience those lustful dreams and, while he didn't experience them every night, they came at him full force. They were affecting him so much that, by the time Loan was three months old, he couldn't even get normal crushes on girls he thought he should like. It was a common theme at school for Lincoln's friends to be talking about a new hottie in their grade, and Lincoln would always just play along so as not to arouse suspicion on who he was actually attracted to. Thankfully, the guys never pushed him into any situation where they wanted him to ask the girl out, always more focused on the latest video games, tv show, internet personalities, and in a blue moon, politics. There was no way he could ever admit to anyone, not even Clyde, that he was attracted to his own sisters. They'd probably side with him if he told them what happened, but he couldn't trust that they wouldn't call the police on his family. The only thing Lincoln trusted his friends with was his medication and when he should take it.

Any chance of Lincoln having normal love life was nearly dead. He already had a couple girlfriends, but they never lasted more than a couple months. No one could ever guess what he and Ronnie Anne were, but her moving to Great Lakes City ended the chance of them being in a real relationship. They were just too young and inexperienced to make a long-distance relationship between the two of them work. Seems Ronnie Anne agreed with this statement, as she made a few Skype calls to Lincoln introducing him to a boyfriend every now and then (she was currently on her second one since moving there). Even in the long run, there wasn't much of a chance for the two as both were growing up to desire different career aspirations and where they wanted to achieve such dreams. Ronnie Anne wanted to move to Chicago and become a professional boxer while Lincoln wanted to stay behind and use his drawing skills for something. He wasn't sure just yet, but he was leaning heavily towards going to college for architecture, moving closer to Detroit so he could aid in the city's revitalization efforts. Everything about their current situations and futures were just way too different for them to give an actual shot at being boyfriend and girlfriend. Despite that, the two of them still remained good friends, definitely his best friend outside of his circle back home.

He had two real girlfriends after that, but neither went anywhere, with the first girl not committing enough in the relationship for Lincoln's liking, while the second girl broke it off due to Lincoln's aggressive work ethic towards his art. It wasn't like he devoted his whole day towards his drawings, but apparently, that was still too much time for her liking. Keep in mind that these both happened before Lori's assault on him.

After that happened, his attitude towards relationships changed as he was now heavily attracted towards his older sisters. When he wasn't barely registering their mere existence, he seemed to check them out a lot. Lincoln gave an unsteady breath whenever he pictured his one of them in something kinky, the kind of breath a man makes when he is clearly aroused about something, but the sisters never seemed to pick up on the differences in his breathing. For them, it just got lost among their worry for him, their focus on making sure he kept up with his medication to help his schizophrenic behavior (and if they didn't remember to do so, his sudden mood swings and outbursts would remind them), and their own affections for Loan when Lincoln wasn't hogging her.

The scary thing about Lincoln's affections for his sisters was that he was practically shameless about it. When checking them out, he wouldn't even look away when he was caught, getting so engrossed by them that it took them saying his name or clearing their throat to get him to snap back into reality. Sometimes, he would sneak glances of them and fantasize about extremely sexualized versions of whatever situation they were in. Sometimes, it was something as simple as watching tv, but leave it to Lincoln to turn it into a bonafide porno.

Speaking of porn, he would sometimes watch some, imagining it was one of his sisters and him in the act. He wouldn't even need porn a few times, as he had managed to get himself off on his fantasies alone. It was a fun time when the twins overheard his moaning during one of his sessions and he lied that he was talking with Clyde about what the ghosts might sound like in an upcoming episode of _ARGGH!_. He managed to control himself after that day, but it was happening at a very frequent rate, sometimes every other day if Loan wasn't around.

Weirdly, the two sisters that his fantasies usually revolved around were Luna and Lynn. He saw the two of them as the experimental type who would be down to try different kinds of sexual encounters, be it different settings, different positions, etc.. Things like doggy style on the living room couch, dirty bathroom stalls while drunk or high, and car sex were some of the many things he only wished he could do to them, and since Lori, Leni, and Luan probably weren't into all of that, he only envisioned them in romantic, vanilla, or sensual settings. With those two, however, seeing as Luna had made a few bad decisions at a couple afterparties (he overheard a story Luna was talking about on the phone dealing with a cocaine-fueled orgy between her, Sam, and a couple groupies after one of their shows in Detroit), and Lynn, who was just starting to have sex with other guys, was relentless in bed, Lincoln felt that those two would be the most accepting of wild ideas.

All of these thoughts were slowly twisting his mind into believing that lusting after his own sisters was okay. He was masturbating at the prospect of nailing his them in warped fantasies and dreams that were very divorced from reality. In his dreams, they were succubi coming for him, and in his fantasies, he was an incubus coming for them. Real life, however, was him trying desperately to convince himself that any of these thoughts and dreams were not what a brother should be thinking about his sisters. In fact, more than once, one of his sisters would walk into his room and they would see him sitting on his bed, mumbling to himself while constantly slapping himself across the face. They noticed drool running down his chin, never taking the time to swallow his own spit as he was so caught up in wanting to punish himself for thinking these things. Usually, his recommended dose of Zyprexa would help to end those episodes, as the sisters would always come in finding him like that when they wanted to remind him of his medicine schedule, but despite this and him admitting everything to Lisa, he was still thinking it and it was still affecting him.

The sisters were becoming more and more worried about Lincoln with every passing day. They wanted to pry from Lisa the information Lincoln had given her during the sessions he had with her but, believing very strongly in patient confidentiality agreements (something she had Lincoln sign before their first session), she refused to budge. Even on medication, Lincoln was nowhere near the brother they once knew. He was more depressed, a loner, an outsider it seemed. He would still help them and play with them, but the spark they once saw in him, indicating that he was enjoying himself, was more like smoking remnants, though he did, occasionally, show genuine happiness a few times. As much as they wanted to put all of this on Lori (which was easy to do), they still felt guilty about fostering the environment that led to everything that happened. Good communication was something that didn't exist in the Loud household. It was as if karma became a sort-of scientific law for the household; bad things must happen before good things happen. It was usually Lincoln on the receiving end of these fiascos, and when it wasn't through the family getting dealt a bad hand, it was because it was Lincoln against his sisters, and since there were ten of them, it may as well have been Lincoln against the world.

This past year was them attempting to fix their past mistakes of leaving him out to dry while everyone else got to eat cake. The four oldest sisters took on the roles of protective and supportive big sisters, constantly doing what they could to make Lincoln's life as easy as possible. Lori was having the baby while Leni focused her energy on helping Lincoln with his wardrobe change. Luna practically took up all of Rita's motherly protectiveness and was always ready to question him about the safety of the different activities he was doing. Luan was more on the loving and nurturing mother side of things whose efforts earned her the award of Loan being named in her honor.

Lynn was strange in that, rather than work to mend their relationship, she never really interacted with him much anymore. She was under the impression that, if she stayed away from Lincoln as much as possible, she would lose her affinity for making him her workout buddy and stop messing with him so much. There's also that bit about her not wanting to rape him in his sleep, as well. Lucy, meanwhile, was much the opposite, always wanting to be with him and help him with something. She was the clingy type of little sister that, while definitely more stable than other girls with this mindset, would be quite befitting of the phrase _'brother complex'_.

The twins were becoming that, too. Lana decided to live under the phrase _'if you love me, let me go'_, as she let all of her wild animals free in the wild if no one could watch them, and if they returned, then that meant that they really did see her as their proper caregiver. She also stopped making Lincoln be the one to care for them. There was no way she could make it up to him for every bite he ever got, especially the bites that required extraction of venom or a rabies vaccination, but if her animals were vicious and bit Lincoln, then as her own apology, she would constantly try to cuddle him to help him feel more calm about everything he was currently dealing with. She even kept herself clean when she did it, too, knowing that Lincoln wasn't a huge fan of having to clean up after her. This sentiment was shared with Lola, who wanted Lincoln to know how much she did care about him. When she wasn't cuddling him or helping him care for Loan, she was baking for him, making him little sweets that were decorated with personal messages on them. It seemed like every other week, Lola would have a cookie platter to bring Lincoln, who always appreciated it. There was just something about Lincoln being happy that made her soul feel so free inside of her.

Lisa simply had her duties of being his therapist and medical advisor, and Lily didn't know anything, so for her, it was business as usual for how she treated Lincoln. The most important rule established by every sister, though, was that there was to be no more bad communication between the siblings.

A rule that nobody apparently told Leni, who continued the trend of terrible decision-making.

She had just broken up with her boyfriend, Jason, and instead of being sad, she was furious. He didn't do anything necessarily bad, but Leni was upset over how oblivious he was about her desires for a more passionate relationship. She wasn't necessarily looking for it to be sexual, but the least he could've done was move past always taking her to your typical family restaurants. They never went high-end, spent more than $40 for their meals, and he never really surprised her with any sort of gift he thought she would like. She was able to endure this for a year, but after a while, even someone like her expects things to progress so things don't get stale. It didn't help that the guy seemed terrified of advances on both his end and hers. Eventually, a girl just gets tired and wants things to change, or else the relationship is as good as dead. He was clueless about all of this all the way to Leni breaking things off with him, only for her to get angrier when he just accepted it and walked away as though he was going to meet up with some friends at the food court of the mall. Either he was just as airheaded as she was, or it was a weight off of his shoulders that he wasn't dating her anymore.

She needed something to release her frustrations and remembered seeing Lincoln check her out a few times. At first, she thought to herself _'Ew, gross!'_ but then, she remembered that Lori did it to him. If her older sister did it, then Leni could do it too, right? But no, Lori crossed boundaries thanks to what she did, as she never let Lincoln consent to anything. Wait, that means if Lincoln does consent, it would be okay, right? After all, she didn't know any other boy she could trust to treat her properly other than Lincoln, social taboos surrounding the act be damned. She also remembered how willing Lincoln was in helping his sisters with something, and she perked up at this.

"Hey, Linky?" she asked entering her brother's room and closing the door.

"What do you want, Leni?" He was sitting on his bed watching episodes of an anime on his computer.

She walked right up to his bed and simply stated "I want you to sleep with me."

Lincoln's eyebrows shot up as he cast her a glare. Was he fantasizing again? The fact that he felt the weight of his laptop on him clued him in that it wasn't. Still, he was so far down his mental rabbit hole that, instead of screaming 'NO!' at her and pushing her out of his room, he instead asked "Why?"

"Jason wasn't very smart and didn't know what it meant to be romantic, so I broke up with him, and now I need something to make me feel better." She saw how unimpressed he was with this answer, as his face showed nothing but indifference on it (a look that he was quite used to wearing now). She noticed this and tried to convince him to say 'yes', sitting on his bed, pushing his laptop farther up his chest so she could straddle him, and took his cheeks into her hands. "Come on, Linky. I know what Lori did was bad and everything, but I promise to treat you so much better than her." She gave him a soft, teasing kiss on the lips. He was still unimpressed with this, but his body was all kinds of eager at the prospect of nailing her in real life. With the most unenthusiastic response ever at the prospect of having sex with someone, all he said was "Okay" and put his laptop to the side. Lincoln was rewarded with another kiss from Leni and a soft "Thank you" before she went in.

In comparison to his fantasies where she just went straight for the kill, there was a little more teasing and foreplay before the main event. Lincoln really didn't even do anything, as he just laid there while Leni did all of the work, first giving him soft kisses down his body before pulling his pants down to reveal his penis. Rather than go all in on giving him head, she simply teased him with a few licks and kisses before bringing her hips back to his and putting him in her. One thing that did match his fantasies with her was the pace at which the actual act happened. She was slow and methodical, seeing what made him tick and committing it to memory. After she figured him out, she went all in on what he liked. From her, he liked it slow but with constant movement, and so she complied, moving her hips around slowly but consistently, her satisfied breathing and biting her lip indicating that she was enjoying it more than he probably was.

Actually, that wasn't hard to do. See, while Lincoln was feeling all kinds of bliss throughout his body, his mind wasn't feeling any different to when he was just sitting there on his computer. He didn't feel any sort of connection, any emotion that would signify that he made the right decision in consenting with her. His mind just felt numb to what was happening. He allowed himself to fantasize so much because he never expected that he would actually get with one of his sisters. What he didn't count on was them coming to him asking for sex. Now that he was experiencing it, you'd think he'd be on cloud nine right now. Nope. He just felt indifferent, only going along with it because his body and his sister wanted him, too. After what Lori told him and his silent mental breakdowns that followed, he wasn't sure what was right or wrong anymore. All he knew was that someone he was fantasizing about and always checking out came to him for sex, and why would he say 'no' to that?

As the act went on, he figured out her pattern and moved his hips in tandem with hers, both parties speeding up the closer they got to finishing. She finished with ecstasy while he ended with a passive acceptance of ecstasy. Despite Leni going to him for wanting to get with a guy that she thought of as romantic, there was a very noticeable lack of intimacy in the encounter. This was more like an angry fling to get back at someone than a legitimately sensual encounter. The fact that they kept their clothes on was proof of that, with Lincoln only having his pants pulled down and Leni only pulling down her panties. She thanked him again, kissed him, got off of him, and left his room, blowing him a kiss and a wink as she did.

Lincoln just sat facing the wall next to him. He felt no joy right now, no euphoria. He felt no different than before. All he was doing was questioning what was happening to him. First, he found out he was violated, then he fantasized heavily about his sisters. One of them came to him outright asking for sex, and he agreed. This was his life now. A messed-up life of living as a rape victim, fantasizing about his sisters, actually having sex with his sisters, a daughter that he couldn't see on a regular…wait a minute.

'_Oh Fuck!'_

* * *

"Guys, guess what? I'm totes pregnant!" All of her sisters were celebrating.

"Congratulations, Leni!" Lori spoke up. "Did you tell Jason?"

"No. We broke up."

"Oh…so, who's the father?"

"Linky!"

None of her sisters were celebrating.

* * *

**A/N: And with that, we end with the second kid on the way. My apologies if anyone wanted more out of the encounter between Leni and Lincoln, but I had it in my mind when planning this story out that those two would share a brief fling that isn't going to be dwelled on too much, aside from her getting pregnant, which will continue in the next chapter. It's also why I made the sex scene so short, since I'm not writing this story for the sake of writing smut, but to show the emotions of different characters in relation to the events that befall them. I have plans for writing more elaborate sex scenes in the future, but they need to be framed properly. Context is everything for me.**

**I should also apologize (I'm a very apologetic person for even the smallest of things) if anyone wanted more depth to Leni. Like the sex scene, I felt it made sense for her to have a reason that isn't dwelled on too much. This is Leni we're talking about, always taking things at face value and never placing things in context. Because of this, I went with the idea of _'If others do it, then that means, I can do it, too'._ I feel Leni is very much a 'follow the leader' type who just goes along with what others do. She certainly wouldn't be the first to have sex with Lincoln, but like a school of piranhas, after one does something, she'll join in.**


	5. So Appalled

**A/N: I needed to edit this. The first draft was what I felt to be a disaster. I rushed too fast with it, and for that, I sincerely apologize. This should make things easier to stomach, as I completely changed what happens at the end of the chapter. I may come back and make more edits, later. I need to take a break from this story and rethink a few things about it. I made the mistake of rushing into this story, and I don't want these issues to come up again. Thank you for understanding, and I hope you enjoy my revised chapter.  
**

**Disclaimer: The Loud House and characters belong to Nickelodeon.**

* * *

"What? The fuck? Were you thinking?" was the first thing Lori asked in the emergency sister meeting that was called. The rest of the sisters were ready to chew Leni out as well. Lori was, at least, traumatized by what she did. The fact that Leni was standing here as happy as can be meant that, if she said the wrong things, her sisters would be ready for blood.

"Well, first I was so excited because I was going to be a mom, but then I started to worry about how I could care of it while working and-"

"That's not what I FUCKING MEANT!" That shut Leni up immediately. "How could you do that to him?! How could you go and make the same _stupid_ mistake I did?!"

"Oh, it wasn't a mistake. I asked Linky and he said it was okay."

"W-…What?!"

"I wanted Lincoln to help make me feel better after I broke up with Jason. He said it was okay to do it, so we did."

The sisters went wide-eyed for the third time that night. Lincoln consented to having sex with one of his sisters. His sister. Consent. It went from 'what the heck is wrong with her' to 'what the heck is-'

"Oh no." Everyone thought it (sans Leni), but only Lori said it. Anyone who was standing sank to the ground, and those who were already sitting went even lower, such as falling over and laying down. This was worse than they had imagined. Lincoln wouldn't say 'yes' to this, or at least, not the old him.

This was Lincoln now, and Lincoln now was living with the baggage of at least a year's worth of unfortunate (to put it lightly) events, and it was destroying him. What does mental baggage do? It breaks you. Therapy was doing nothing for him. His medication was doing nothing for him. Nothing was happening to truly address the big issue he had to constantly deal with. His thoughts. Therapy couldn't make him stop thinking about something, and Zyprexa, like most medication that handles schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder, focused on balancing chemicals associated with the brain. In this case, it focused on the chemicals dopamine and serotonin, both of which can increase a person's mood. But a person's state of mind is separate from their ability to think. Moods are different from thoughts, and if certain thoughts are stronger than others, they will be thought about no matter what the emotional state of the person is. The sisters acted like Lincoln did the first night he found out about everything as they started connecting dots in their heads.

Constantly checking them out should've been the sign for them that clued them in into what Lincoln was always thinking about, and if not that, then constantly finding his sheets in the dryer on many mornings should've. The same goes for the sheer lack of emotion they saw in Lincoln a lot of times, a far cry from who he was several years ago. The final straw was the meltdowns they sometimes walked in on to see him experiencing, which they always just chalked up as him needing to take his medication. They didn't recognize this sooner, and as a result, a second sister was now pregnant. This was Lincoln now, a sixteen-year-old, mentally unstable teenager who was attracted to his kin that nobody thought to help him out with. Well, nobody except Lisa, who probably knew all of this, but she wasn't at the meeting, which said a lot about how she felt about everything. A couple sisters remember seeing her shocked form walking back to her room in what looked like a daze. If she knew, that means she tried to stop it. Leni's admittance to who the father was told them all they needed to know about the results. Lisa failed, and if she failed, they had to wonder how much hope was left.

Leni noticed no one was moving much and announced "Well, if no one is going to say anything else, I need to run to the mall. I need to figure what the baby might like for clothes. By-yee." Everyone else could only sit there, guilt-ridden and self-loathing beyond what most people may feel. No one could possibly know what failure meant to them right now. They failed _AGAIN _to address the issues that led to a sister getting impregnated by their own brother. First, it was a failure to notice their own roles and emotions towards Lincoln and making his life not the most ideal. Now, it was a failure to see the signs of his unhealthy emotional state. The fact that it was consensual seemed to make matters _worse_ because he was probably so emotionally burned out from everything that he couldn't even bother to work up any sort of will to tell a sister 'no'.

"What have I done?...What have I done?..." Lori's voice was the first to be heard since Leni left. In her mind, she started all of this. She catalyzed everything. If she doesn't sleep with Lincoln, Leni never repeats the act (Leni may not have said that specifically, but everyone grew up with her enough to know her tendency to just follow along with what the others do). Lincoln doesn't suffer constant dreams about them, and he doesn't have to worry about not being involved in his own kids' lives.

One event. ONE. That was all it took for everyone to question everything about their family and walk the fine line between keeping things secret or going to prison.

Lola was the first to gain her bearings and got up to leave. Everyone else was stewing in all sorts of negative emotions too much for them to care about where she was going. She went to Lincoln's room, wanting to make sure he was doing okay.

"Linky?"

The last time he heard someone say that, it ended with him becoming the father to another child. At first, he cringed, fearing it was Leni again or one of his other older sisters. To his relief, it was Lola, someone who wasn't always occupying his mind with inappropriate thoughts.

"Hey Lols" he said with only a really small hint of enthusiasm from his bed, pausing whatever video he was watching on his laptop. "Did you need something?"

"Are you doing okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Please don't lie to me, Lincoln." She ran to the side of his bed and placed her hands on his arm. "Tell me the truth. Are you really doing okay?"

A brief silence was followed by him looking in the direction of his knees and saying "I don't know."

She wanted to cry. The expression on his face, indifference mixed with frustration mixed with sadness, it said everything. He was thinking about everything and couldn't come up with any real answer as to why any of this was happening. It all felt so hopeless and appalling.

She stayed strong, though. For him. The last thing he needed right now was seeing one of his sisters cry. He needed something she doubted Lisa ever gave him during one of his sessions with her, genuine comfort. Without warning, she hopped onto his bed and curled up into his side. Lincoln was used to her cuddling him, so he wasn't fazed at all by it. Actually, he felt like he needed someone to hold, so he put his computer off to the side and held her after she repositioned herself to lay on his chest, her preferred method of cuddling him, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Our older sisters suck."

"Can't really argue with that."

"I'm sorry you have to keep suffering, Linky." She always sounded so cute to him when her voice was muffled by her arm and his chest.

"Well, this one can be blamed on me since I said 'yes' to it."

She looked up at him. "But Leni came to you. She could've just done something else, but instead, she came to you."

"And I said 'yes'. I'm not really innocent here, Lola."

"But you _are_ hurting." Lincoln never liked to see worry in any of his sisters' eyes, but he saw it on full display in Lola's. She may not have seen either act, and he wasn't sure she was old enough to understand how complex and overwhelming all of this was for him, but she did know that he wasn't himself. She leaned her head back down onto his chest and said "I don't blame you for anything."

The words hit him with force. Here was his younger sister, who had taken advantage of him in the past to have him come to her tea parties and dress up as her butler, who would blackmail him and tell on him without any remorse, choosing his side in all of this and wanting to comfort him to try and make him feel better. She had spent the last couple years trying to be a better sister, but nowhere was it needed more than now for him. Rather than feeling overwhelmed and ready to cry, he simply felt content.

"Nice to know I have at least one supporter in this. Thanks Lola." He kissed her head as she got more comfortable in his chest, ready to take a nap on him.

For the rest of the day, both of them moved only when necessary, as neither wanted to leave the comfort the other was giving them right now.

* * *

Much like when Loan was spending her nine months growing in the womb, Leni's child was much the same in causing anxiety, fear, and excitement. Unlike Lori, Leni didn't have classes to worry about since she didn't go to college, as her fashion expertise allowed her to quickly move up Reininger's corporate food chain and, eventually, become a designer for a new store brand they were launching. She wasn't earning the most money in the world, but it allowed her to get by on necessities. It helped that Rita and Lynn still allowed her to stay home, but to teach her the importance of budgeting, they had her pay her weight in utility use. Nothing quite makes a girl rethink how much electricity and water she uses like being told 'You have to pay for it.'

To his relief, Lincoln was experiencing a come-down on his sexual fantasies with his sisters. They were still there, but they weren't as prevalent nor as detailed as they were previously. They were also tamer in execution, going from porn as if directed by Tim Burton to a typical fantasy worthy of being listed under the 'Amateur' tab.

He was feeling better than he was before. Perhaps even good. What that sex did for him was rid him of the pent up frustrations he was feeling about his sisters. Maybe if he would've had sex in general, it would've given him the same results, but because it was with his sister, he no longer had to fantasize what it _might _be like to have sex with her. Now he knew. It made his body stop asking and craving. He actually felt like he could be normal again one day.

And he hated it.

The fact that he had to have sex with Leni in reality to make him stop thinking about her as much stung. His brotherly instincts flooded him since he realized she may have gotten pregnant from the encounter. What self-respecting brother fixes their mental state by actually nailing his family? Before, he was emotionless to everything. Now, he was appalled. Appalled at his sisters for initiating everything…and appalled at himself for not working to better his situation and try to move on from everything.

Self-loathing overrided his ability to properly think straight, never taking a moment to think that nothing really could be done to better his situation. He was taking his medication on a consistent schedule, he did activities with his sisters, and he worked to be a good father for Loan. He _was _working to better his situation, but things like these don't go away easy. The fact that therapy never helped him doesn't leave much room for doubt that this was going to be a long road to make himself better. There is no such thing as an easy way in this.

He tried to make the best of things by making baby recommendations to Leni, at least when their parents weren't around. To Leni's credit, she was actually making a conscious effort to not mention who the father was to their parents, helped along by a very important meeting she had with Lori the first night after she told all of her sisters that she was pregnant.

* * *

"_Leni…have you told mom and dad?"_

"_No. I was gonna wait until after I found out if it was a boy or a girl."_

"_What were you going to talk about?"_

"_Just the usual stuff. How long I've had it, what I plan to name it, all of that kind of stuff."_

"_Do you plan on telling them who it belongs to?"_

"_Uh…me?"_

"_No, the other person."_

"_Oooohhhhh. I…don't think I want to. I know Linky wouldn't want to be seen as the father, especially by them, but I don't like lying to them."_

"_Trust me, Leni. You have to. You may not like it, but you must. Unlike me, you don't have much in the way of a solid cover like I did with Bobby. You can try to use Jason as cover, but I'm not sure anyone could reasonably believe that you two were sexually active." That wasn't a dig, that was her observing how the two acted around each other._

"_So…what should I tell them?"_

"_Say you don't know who the father is. You drink wine, so say you had a little too much at a party while you were out one night, you met a guy, and things went from there. Please Leni. I'm not just saying this for you, but also for Lincoln and the baby. Because it was consensual, you're both on the hook for possible prison time at worst. You'll also never get to see your child after it is born. Do you really want that to happen? To any of you?"_

* * *

Man, did Lori know how to make Leni listen to reason? The parents would never find out about the baby's origins, and though she had to suffer a really harsh reprimand from her parents about how stupid it was of her to get drunk at a party and hook up with a guy she didn't know, it was worth it to make sure she and Lincoln stayed out of jail and that she could see her child.

It was a girl, and Leni already picked a name out. Liena.

"Why that name?" asked Lincoln during a conversation that the two had after finding out.

"Because it sounds like my name."

"Why not just go with Leni Jr. then?"

She looked down and rubbed her stomach with a motherly smile. "Because I want her to be herself, not another me."

That answer took Lincoln aback. Who knew that Leni would be that loving of her own kid enough to not want to mold her from the word 'go'? If this were Lola, she would've already have everything prepared, including what the baby's emotional state would be, and since this is Lola we're talking about, she _would _try to figure out how to do it, too.

The good news in all of this was that, with both parents living at home, Liena would never have to leave the house like Loan always had to do. Lincoln could always see her, and he trusted his parents enough with his babysitting performance with Loan that he would be entrusted as Liena's official babysitter, too, again provided that it didn't get in the way of academics. It was another great moment of joy in Lincoln's life; despite not being able to be called 'dad', at least he would always be around to watch Liena grow for the first few years of her life. Plus, Loan would be over every now and then, too, as both parents would be looking for a trustworthy babysitter while they worked, having graduated college. Having both of his daughters with him at the same time? His heart couldn't even. The days that they were both with him were going to make him the happiest father in existence.

They were one of the few things anymore that brought genuine happiness to his life.

* * *

More good news. Since Leni wasn't dating anyone anymore, he didn't have to worry about another guy keeping his baby from him after the delivery. Just him, Leni, Lori (to help her through the process of labor), and finally, Liena. Just like Loan, she was beautiful. She was healthy, she was adorable, and she was noticeably more quiet than Loan. She came out like almost all babies do, crying as the cold air hit her skin as she left the comfort of her mother's womb, but that didn't seem to last more than a minute before being wrapped in a blanket and falling asleep.

Like Loan, she took an instant shining to Lincoln. The moment he was handed her, it seemed as though she was immediately more comfortable in his arms. He was the first person to see her smile. He was falling in love, not romantically, but the kind of love a man feels when it hits him that he now has his own children to look after. It was the same feeling he got after holding Loan for the first time. He was seventeen, now, one year away from being an adult, but he already had the responsibilities of one. He didn't mind. He had his daughters, and he wouldn't trade them for anything. He was going to continue his quest to be the best secret father in the world.

It started with the simple things, doing everything he needed to do to properly care for an infant. This time around, he allowed his sisters more access to care for and be around Liena. Loan's constant going between two homes routine made him monopolize as much time as he could with her, and as a result, unless they were explicitly helping Lincoln with her, his sisters never really had much alone time to just hold the baby in their arms and think about their roles as aunts. He was very much the priority figure in all of their minds, though, and the last thing they wanted to do was give him a reason to be scared about his own kid's well-being, so they treated her as well as they could. He had to admit that they seemed really good at taking care of her. He imagined Lily's time as an infant is what helped them all learn how to properly care for an infant, especially that one time where everyone tried to turn Lily into their own copycat. This was the event that everyone pointed to and screamed "Let's NOT do THAT, again!" in their heads.

Of course, there was school and work, so outside babysitting was sometimes in order. When it wasn't, though, it was mommy and daddy showering the little girl with attention. That said, there were steaks in all of this, and too much parental gorping could rouse suspicion, so the baby always stayed in Leni's room when she came home from work. Lincoln got day duties when schoolwork didn't need to be done. Whenever both were in the same room as Liena, one would act indifferent about the situation while the other gave her attention. They actually made a good team, and any sister was allowed to see her whenever she wanted.

When Loan was left in the care of her mother's family, all of the girls could swear that they've never seen Lincoln so happy. Having his daughters together with him, under the same roof, it made him feel like all was right in the world. He took them for walks, he fed both of them, he played with both of them, and they liked to play with each other, too. His daughters getting along with each other, even in infant form, only added to how content he was with everything in life. It made his sisters happy, too. To finally see actual love, care, and happiness radiate from him may have been arguably the best thing to happen to the family as a whole. The family's own weird, twisted version of the Parable of the Prodigal Son, who was lost, but returned home. The sisters were ready to celebrate in the same fashion the father did after his son came back to him.

Of course, there was the other brother, the one who was resentful at the treatment his brother was getting that he felt he deserved more. The brother who stayed behind and continued to work, but felt he got nothing in return from his father. There wasn't really anyone like that in the family, but there was one sister who was not happy at all with how things were going in the house. That sister was Luna.

It's not that she didn't love seeing her brother happy. Far from it. She felt he deserved something to smile about after all the shit he went through. But was this really how things should be going? Should he be stewing so much on his own failures that he won't even take the time to consider the idea that none of this should be seen as okay? Why was Lincoln being so lenient to the people that did him wrong? Was it possible that, secretly…there was a side to him that enjoyed everything that happened?

It annoyed her that Lincoln was so forgiving under these circumstances. He shouldn't be. She saw the effects of those fantasies he was having. She saw him hitting himself because he didn't want to keep thinking about them anymore. To see her own brother causing himself pain because of what his own thoughts were making him feel, that changes a person…and it only made her feel like more of a failure.

What really had she done these past couple years to try and improve anything? Be Lincoln's second mother? Worry about him nonstop while he was internally suffering and number of inappropriate thoughts that were clearly taking a toll on him and her doing nothing to try and help? The sad fact of the matter is that, after the first encounter, when everybody found out, a little too much focus was put on trying to distract Lincoln from his thoughts rather than actually work to help him through it. The sisters had a nasty habit of misanalysing situations, and while they tried to implement better communication policies between themselves, they noticeably didn't do much in the way of actually working with Lincoln to guide him through this. What they did was the equivalent of trying to distract a smoker from having another cigarette by having that person try to focus on other activities, rather than taking the pack away and working to flush the nicotine out of the person's system. Luna felt so stupid for not realizing that Lincoln had issues that were bigger than she imagined, and Leni's pregnancy only sealed the deal.

* * *

For the past few months, ever since Liena was born, she had been thinking about everything nonstop, and it couldn't have been a worse time for her to do so. Her band was recognized by a regional record label that was interested in signing them. They particularly like Luna and the versatility in her voice, which could be used in songs that ranged from heartfelt, soft singing to belting out unclean vocals for metal songs. She had to be on her A-game and here she was stewing on the issues that were plaguing her family.

Today was an important day in that she had to make a run to the recording studio to spend a few hours working on a demo to send to the company, who wanted to hear some original music from them that could potentially be included on their somewhat major label debut album. She had woken up at five in the morning, since they wanted to go on a grind so that they could all be home by the early afternoon.

When she got to the studio, she saw that the rest of her band had arrived before her. Her fellow guitarist and girlfriend Sam was there, as well as their drummer Salina, and bassist Greg. Chunk was also there, as well as Brendon, their friend from school and occasional sound engineer. He was also a bassist, and the person Luna wanted as the official bassist of the band, but Salina had brought Greg on as a way for him to have something preoccupy his mind, as he had just gotten out of jail on charges of possession. Luna had no idea what Salina was trying to do when she brought him on, as he was caught on several occasions these past few months with things like cocaine, but a bunch of begging was all Salina really needed to do to convince everyone that "Oh no, really. He's changed". Yeah, right. The only reason he was kept on was because Brendon was preoccupied with his own musical project, though he did say that, if they wanted, he would join the band.

"Hey Lunes!"

"Hey Sam." They gave each other a quick, loving embrace.

"Oh, I'm so excited! I was pretty restless last night 'cause I just wanted to get hear so bad!"

"Don't get too excited, luv. We still got to record the songs."

"Right, right. Sorry. I just can't believe someone has interest in picking us up!" You'd think Sam had already slammed a few cups of coffee, but she was running on pure dopamine right now at the thought of getting picked up. A dream was, quite possibly, going to be a reality.

"Alright, then" said Chunk. "You lot better bring your best foot forward. I expect nothing but excellence."

And with that, they made their way to the actual recording rooms and spent the next eight hours cranking out a bunch of material. They weren't going to be polished today. This session was mainly for the purpose of getting ideas in and showing off what the band could do regarding different styles and sounds. The goal was four songs, each with a different sound to them. The genres they pulled from were Rock, Pop-Punk, Metalcore, and Alternate Rock.

There was a lot of grinding, but thanks to the band meeting up a few days prior to discuss their plan of attack, they knew exactly how they wanted to go about things. Eight hours and a lunch break later, they had the "finished" product. They made two copies of the demo, one the scout could take back now, and one they would edit later on. Basically, the label wanted both sides to polish the work so they could see what each other's visions looked like for the band.

After the scout left, they took time to unwind, with the waiting game being the game to play as they had to wait for at least a week while Brendon cleaned the demo up and the label making their own edits. He left a little after the scout did while the actual band stayed behind to relax. Luna was laying on her girlfriend's lap while Salina and Greg were sitting on another couch next to them, chatting.

"So Luna…do you need to talk about something?"

"What do you mean?"

"You haven't seemed like you for a while now. I thought today, you would be excited, but you held the same tone you've had for what seems like months."

"Oh…sorry, Sam." Luna didn't realize how much her gloom attitude was showing. She wasn't frustrated today, like the days prior, more just along the lines of being generally upset about something. "There's been some stuff going on with the fam that I'm not comfortable talking about."

"It's alright." Sam bent down to give Luna a quick kiss on her head. "But if you ever do want to talk, you know I'll always be here."

"Thanks, babe."

"You want a hit of something to try and calm yourself down?" Greg asked, having overheard.

"NO!" Luna shot up out of Sam's lap. "No, I don't want to make a mistake like that again!" She looked back at Sam. "Not again…"

The cocaine incident was a decision she never wanted to repeat. They did it in the heat of the moment after one of their best shows in Detroit. That incident alone made Luna see that night as one of the worst she ever had, completely because of the fallout the happened in the following days. They say sex on drugs is better than while clean, but neither of the girls felt that way. Sam wouldn't talk to her for several days, and Luna was practically living as a recluse in her own home, a home with ten siblings no less. They would've preferred their first time slow and awkward, the way most virgin couples imagine having it. The incident nearly broke the two up, but with some talking and promises, they worked things out and stayed together.

After a few minutes had passed, Sam and Salina got up and left the room to go to the bathroom and talk while Luna and Greg stayed behind.

"So, family troubles, huh? If it makes you feel any better, they can't be any worse than my family."

"You don't know my family, dude."

"I'm just saying, when you have a father like mine. Well, let's just say you would be counting your blessings." Luna chose to ignore that and rested her head back down on the sofa.

"Are you sure you don't need a bit of a pick-me-up? You sounded good behind the mic, but in the future, it would help to be more into it." As much as she hated hearing that, he had a point. She wasn't at her peak like this and performed best when she was in good spirits. Lord knows how she would work all of the issues she was having out if they were actually signed.

"C'mon. You need to let yourself feel good for a bit." He pulled out a small tube and a lighter, working to prepare something while she never pulled her head up to look. She just assumed he was smoking marijuana, seeing as the studio was frequented by several people in the Detroit metropolitan area (it was a ten minute drive from downtown), and you'd have to be pretty stupid to try and sneak illegal drugs into a place like this. "Here. Take a hit."

She looked up to see him holding a rather small tube with stuff in it and a lighter. She considered for a moment. What was going on at home was nothing short of nightmarish. Her own brother had gotten two of his sisters pregnant through no real fault of his own, the first time through rape and the second time through emotional exhaustion. The aftermath of the latter encounter even made her paranoid that he might actually be enjoying everything. He seemed a lot happier about being a father than she felt most boys would if they were put in the exact same situation. There was a lot she needed to sort through, and it wasn't a fun affair, either.

But she wasn't about to let herself succumb to what she did the last time she was tempted. it nearly ruined her. What she had with Sam was nearly destroyed. She couldn't make that mistake again, not when it was her family at stake this time. She reminded herself of Lincoln, of how much she loved him. It was no secret that they had a pretty strong bond between them, one of the strongest between the siblings. How would he react if he found out about this? Did she have it in herself to let him down in the same way her older sisters did?

No, and the longer she stayed, the longer she would be tempted. She got up off of the couch and said "Thanks, but I have things I need to deal with" before heading out. She found Sam and Salina just outside the lounge area.

"Hey. I'm sorry, but I can't help you guys pack up the gear. I need to get home and talk with my family about some things."

Sam could sense the sincerity and worry in her girlfriend's voice. "Sure. No problem. Do you need a lift from one of us?"

"No, it's fine. I'm just going to hail a cab. Thanks for the offer, though." She gave Sam a quick kiss before heading out, happy with the decision she made, but also nervous about what was to come.


	6. Unthinkable

**Once again, I wish to apologize for my rushed efforts last chapter. Seems I named it quite aptly. I have since gone back and changed the ending to it, one that I feel is easier to stomach. As a writer, I have to acknowledge when mistakes are made, and with those mistakes comes the chance of learn from what went wrong. The more I write this story, the more it feels like my own personal test bed, as I learn what works in a story and what doesn't, what to put in and what to leave out. This is an important story for me as I experiment with ideas to see what's a good one and what's a bad one. Thank you guys for continuing to give this story a chance. Watching the number of followers and favorites go up even in the face of my own self-doubts was nothing short of amazing and motivational.**

**Okay, now for a new chapter. When I changed the last chapter, I had to completely scrap my original plan for this one and start fresh, but I think the results came out beautifully. Huge shout out to Zeobide274 for giving me some great ideas to work with in this chapter. This actually turned out to be, by page length in Word, my longest chapter to date, at nineteen full pages. A lot of this chapter is dialogue, so that's the big reason why.**

**Please enjoy, and thank you again for all of the support.**

**Disclaimer: The Loud House and characters belong to Nickelodeon.**

* * *

Luna was dreading the meeting she was about to have with Lincoln. She pondered it all the way back to the house as she stared out of the window of her cab. This was going to be tense. They both had a lot to answer for that neither side cared to bring up with each other until now. She was hopeful that, at the very least, the kids being home would make Lincoln feel more at ease. His attitude was pretty much tailored to his kids and whether they were home or not.

Arriving at her house, she paid her fare, took a deep breath, and made her way into the house. She found Lincoln putting his daughters to bed in Lori and Leni's room.

"Hey, bro. Can we talk?" She whispered so as not to wake the kids. He did the same thing.

"Yeah, sure. Just let me finish up here."

She nodded. "I'll wait for you in your room."

He set Liena down next to her sister before turning the lights out and leaving the room. Something in him was telling him to stay in that room, to not go to his. He was already fully aware of the cycle that was permeating within the family. Of course, when you expect it to happen, you just stop caring, so forgive Lincoln for throwing his hands up in the air.

Making it to his room, he saw Luna already sitting on his bed waiting for him. He simply closed the door but didn't lock it.

"Are you about to ask me to sleep with you, too?"

Great start.

"What?! No! No, Lincoln, I…I just want to talk."

"Yeah, only you and most of our other sisters. I doubt this talk will be any different than the rest."

"Wanna bet? I got five bucks that says I can."

He could only shake his head and take a deep breath. "Fine. Let's hear it."

"Okay. First, I'm sorry…for everything I may have done in the past to hurt you. Please know that I would never want to intentionally do that."

"Then why are you so quick to join in with the rest of them?"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Luna. The fact that you join them in their sister mindset, one that has screwed me over many times before, I might add, doesn't give you much truth to that apology. Do you really think that I'm about to give you a pass on this when you're just as responsible for a lot of the hurt I've gotten in the past as they are?"

"Well…uh…"

"Luna, let's get one thing clear: I don't see you as the exception in this family, alright? I know what you've done. Don't sit here, acting like a hypocrite, telling me that you finally understand what I've been through. It doesn't take away from the fact that you still joined them in doing things that usually ended disastrously."

"I know, I know, but I really am sorry, bro. I need you to know that."

"Is this all because of what Lori started? Why are you just telling me this now?"

"Because I don't want to repeat the same mistake she made. I'm trying to be a good sister here, dude."

"Look Luna, I'm sorry, but you've done a really poor job at it over these past couple of years. Lola, Luan, Lucy, Lana, they all have done what they can to try and help, while all you've done is act like an overprotective mother. Doing that isn't going to help fix things, help fix me."

She sensed a lot of selfishness in him with that last remark. "Do you really think you're the only one affected by all of this? How about the rest of us? How do you think _I_ feel about all of this? If you could see the gloom that hangs over us during our sister meetings, you wouldn't be so quick to pull the trigger on me."

"You mean the meetings that you don't invite me to because you think it's better if I find out on my own? After everyone else? Why are you girls so afraid to find out what my reaction to everything is going to be? You should know by now that, in this family, nothing stays a secret forever."

She was starting to lose it, emotionally. "It's because we all want to be on the same page. As sisters, it's our job to look out for you, our brother."

"Yeah, 'cause you've done a bang-up job with that, so far."

"Why can't you just make this easier on us? We've kept trying to help, but you just can't seem to change."

"You really don't get it, do you? You think this is something that I can just bounce back from. If I felt like it, I can just turn back to normal, but it isn't." He inhaled through his nose and started to corner her against the wall. "You don't know what it's like to be the one that everyone else gangs up on, the one that is given all of the responsibility because it's what is expected from you, and you, _most certainly, _do not know what it means to have a terrible thing that happened to you be kept from you for so long that only comes to light because a girl got pregnant out of it." Luna was left on the verge of tears. "Now unless you have anything else to say to me with actual meaning to it, you can keep your five bucks and get out of my room."

She screamed through her teeth a sound that was equal parts angry and sad, and stormed out of his room, leaving Lincoln to flop down on his bed with just as much frustration.

* * *

Once she reached her room, she slammed the door shut and took refuge on her bed, not knowing whether to cry, scream, or punch her pillow. Her conversation with Lincoln was a disaster. He was not about to be in any other position other than offensive and it gave her absolutely no room to defend herself. Her one time she was on the offensive was spun right back at her into even more questions that she couldn't give good answers to. Nothing prepared her for the blown fuse that was Lincoln's growing hatred of the chaotic lifestyle his sisters forced him through while growing up.

She eventually buried herself under her covers and cried, upset about Lincoln going off on her, and worse, how raw and truthful he was about everything. He was right. She wasn't being helpful over the past few years as much as he needed her to. She never evolved past just checking in on him whenever she felt she needed to with him, making sure he was keeping up to date on his meds, and questioning him every time he talked about wanting to go out with friends.

The argument they just had incriminated her not just on those charges, be even going farther back. She was telling the truth in that she was sorry for treating him so bad, but he was also telling the truth in that her actions in the past made that apology hard to swallow. Was she actually a good sister to him in the face of what she did when she acted like the typical Loud sister stereotype? She wanted to see herself as a good sister to him. There was pride to be had in getting on people's good sides, and she wanted nothing more than to get along with all of her siblings. With Lincoln, though, there always seemed to be a connection the two had that made the two stand out to each other. Maybe it was a simple case of Lincoln being born a boy, but beyond that, there was much more. As a newborn, the sisters reacted differently to the news of Lincoln being born. Lori and Leni were excited to have a brother, but it was really only because he was a boy that they smothered him with attention. Luan could never get over how cute he was and how making him laugh was the greatest thing in the world, and Lynn, being two when he was born, wasn't old enough to consciously formulate her own opinions on having a brother.

Luna was different. The first time she held him, it was as if she had been struck by lightning made of pure love, and alongside her parents, was the most powerful love she had ever felt for someone. She wanted nothing more than to help guide him through the world from that day onward, her way of thanking him for being one of the first things in her life that gave it meaning.

However, everything changes with time, and as the family grew, she started to merge with the clutter. She still did what she could to be a good sister to him (neither will ever forget their first concert, together), but man, did she have a bad tendency to join in on her sisters' dumb actions when they were together as a group. The worst part was that she had no real excuse as to why, either. None of them did. It was just built into them that, as sisters, they teamed up and stuck together as one. When they weren't focused on their interests, they were focused on being together in a group. It was either all individual or all together. The difference between person and sister.

It was with that thought that she started to understand things. Lincoln didn't appreciate the constant ten against one situations that the sisters constantly roped him into. Not helped was that, as Lincoln grew older, he could just outright deny going with his sisters they all collectively decided to go. A trip to the mall on weekends, for example? Pass. He'll just stay home, being old enough that he could be trusted to care for himself. Luna didn't like to not have him around. She always got the most enjoyment out of any situation when he was with her. She also spent more time with her band to build their presence, building the band up to the point that it could be trusted that the project could be their main source of income. It was a massive time investment, meaning less time at home with him.

Then he was raped, and Lori got pregnant as a result. Now Leni had a child with him. It was all just a perfect build up to the terrible conclusion she came to.

No, she wasn't as good of a sister as she thought she was.

She heard a knock on her door and, without waiting for an answer, Lincoln came in.

"Luna?"

"What do you want?" She didn't even look at him.

"Can we talk? For real this time?"

There was a small silence that followed before she spoke. "If you mean it, then yes."

"Thank you." He climbed up to her part of the bunk (even after all these years, Luna and Luan still had their bunk bed) and he sat down with his feet hanging off of the side.

"I want to apologize. I targeted you unfairly back there and I'm sorry about that."

"No, you don't have to, and you didn't. What you said is true. I don't know what it is that you're going through and I'm sorry I never took the time before to listen."

"I want to start fresh with this. So, let's forget about what I said in my room. Go ahead and say what you were going to say when you first wanted to talk."

"Well, like I said, dude. I'm sorry about all the times I hurt you. You really never deserved any of it. Like you said, I just got so caught up in teaming up with the fam that I forgot about actually treating you fairly."

"So…why do you?" She looked up at him with a bit of an annoyed look, which he quickly countered. "I promise I'm not asking to put you on the defensive. I just genuinely want to know."

She mellowed her face back to somber. "Honestly…I'm not even sure. I could say that it's because, as sisters, it's what we do, but that's a pretty lame excuse. But it's all I've got as an answer."

"It's okay. I never understood it, but I guess being the only brother, I'm probably not supposed to. This really is something that only you guys would understand."

"But I don't. We don't have a reasonable excuse to be such a pain to you. We just find something to get excited about and we just lose it. This shouldn't be something that keeps happening!"

"Luna, calm down. I told you, it's okay. I just…I just wish I could be given more grace to handle things on my own, is all. It seems like you guys do your team-ups when it's my problem that everyone finds out about. I still haven't forgotten about what you girls did when you found out Ronnie Anne was picking on me."

"Well…it turns out she did like you."

"What if she didn't, though? What if I was actually getting bullied by her?" That question stung to both ask and hear.

"…I'm really sorry, Lincoln." She reached for him and wrapped him in a comfortable hug, laying them both down on her bed. She laid her chin onto his head. "I don't know how many times I've said it, but it's never going to be enough for you to know just how much I really am."

"It's okay, Luna. I…I don't like having to confront any of you like this. It just hurts."

"Do you want to tell me about everything your feeling?"

He let out a sigh. "I honestly don't know what to feel. I mean, here I am, just trying to live my own life when I come to find out what Lori did. You guys were told this before I was, some of you wanted to keep it a secret, and now I'm not even sure I know which of you I can trust anymore. It's been like this for so long, it seems like. If I'm not the last to find out, I'm just stuck out to dry from the rest of you. I just never understood why I was the odd one out."

"We never wanted you to be. At least, not me." He could've responded with a counter, but he bit his tongue, tired of calling her out.

"Y'know, I still remember when we were both little and you were always the one we all wanted to be around."

"I don't remember having a lot of attention on me when I was little."

"This was when you were, like, one. Lori and Leni always fought each other when you had to be fed over who would do it."

He let out the feintest of laughs. "I take it Lynn was just waiting for the day where she could wrestle me?"

"If you can believe it, no. In fact, she was probably at her best when she was with you. Sometimes, mom and dad would find her in the morning laying next to you in her bed because she took you out of the crib."

He could only go wide-eyed. "That…doesn't even sound like Lynn."

"Not the one you know now, but back then, she seemed like she would do anything to spend as much time with you as possible. Luan did, too. The 'rents would always find her standing next to your crib doing what she could to make you laugh. I think it's thanks to you that she got into comedy to begin with."

"Am I meant to treat that as a good thing?"

"Only because she now has an acting career, too."

"Point taken." Luan had recently gotten called on to do a couple small parts in a few low-budget passion projects from local directors. She was actually a very good actress and there was speculation that she would land some leading roles in the future.

"And I don't think I even need to talk about how your younger sibs feel about you, bro. You have your place made here, and we all love you, even if we don't show it that much."

"It's not that you girls don't show it, it's that you seem so two-faced about it."

"And I'm sorry about it. Really, we all are."

"I can only trust you to say that _your _sorry. There is no way you know how the others feel."

"Actually, I do. After what Lori did, she told us some things that made us all stop and think about thing. She said the reason she did what she did was that, in her mind, it would be the best way to apologize for everything."

"Yeah, she told me that the night I found out. She also told me about how important I became to her because of all the nice stuff I did."

"It wasn't just her that felt that way. All of us did. We grew protective of you over the years for how good you've been to us, but we never told you or apologized for anything. We should've been more open with you from the get-go."

He simply laid there, taking low breaths as the memories of the months following him finding out came back to him, and all the mental agony he suffered because of it. Thankfully, he was doing much better nowadays.

"What's it like?" He looked up at her. "Being a father?"

He lowered his head and took a deep breath. "Powerful."

"How so?"

"When I first got to hold Loan, I felt as though I was just struck by a lightning strike made of pure love. I never thought it was possible to feel like that. I felt a surge go through me. I was the father of a little girl. Then Liena was born and I felt the same thing all over again. I'm not sure I ever felt a stronger love before than the one I feel for the two of them."

She expected that answer. She saw the way he stared at them, how careful he was with them, how loving he was. Maybe this was how her own father felt with the ten of them. Of course, Lynn Sr would love his son, but there is a connection that a father has with his girls that he doesn't have with boys. There was a strong desire to protect them from whatever evils existed in the world and make absolutely sure they were being treated right. If a man found out his daughter was in trouble, he would drop everything to save her, no matter the circumstances. Luna had grown to become a bit of a daddy's girl, especially with their shared love of music. She always loved how caring he was towards her and the rest of her sisters and how much he listened and payed attention to them…often, at the expense of Lincoln.

Actually, did Lincoln have much in the way of a shoulder to lean on in tough times? Nowadays, Lola and Luan seem to have taken that role on, but in the past, she really couldn't remember. Lincoln was always ready to listen to them, but was the feeling mutual from all ten of them? It seemed like every time Luna thought that things could get better, and new thought came into focus and put a damper on things.

"This…may be strange to ask since your dating Sam, but have you ever thought about being a mother?"

The question caught her off guard. "Um…I guess since Lori and Leni have had kids, I've been curious."

"That's…why I'm asking. I wasn't sure if watching our sisters be mothers was making you start to think about having your own kids."

"Well, maybe someday, through adoption, Sam and I will have our own kids running around."

"I hope they're good to you."

"And I hope to take care of them as well as you take care of yours." She gave him a kiss on his head, followed by two more before just laying there to cuddle him and be cuddled. Now she really was wondering what being a mother was like. She always saw a smile on the faces of Lori and Leni when they talked about their kids. They showered them with praise and would drop anything they were doing to help their kids when necessary, such as a dirty diaper or feeding. They loved their little girls and would do anything for them it seemed like. With Lincoln being the father, she knew they had some good genes in them (with some help from Lisa). Could she hope to have kids as good as Lincoln's were?

"Y'know…i-if you want me to…I could help you."

She went wide-eyed and leaned up to look at him. "I only meant in terms of something like getting Lisa to insert some sperm into you. It could allow you to form a closer bond with your child if you could carry it, b-but I understand if that sounds weird and you'd rather just adopt. You'll should easily form a bond with your child no matter how you get it." Oh, how he wished he could take that back. It was arguably the dumbest thing he's ever suggested.

For Luna, though, she saw it as a sign that some of her inner feelings were being returned. She had wondered what their sisters saw in Lincoln to make them want to have sex with him. Lori was weird in that she only did it as a form of apology, and as such, Luna wasn't sure if what happened was consensual for _either_ of them. Leni did it because she wanted to get over an ex-boyfriend, with the excuse that because Lori did it, it was fine for her to do it. Lincoln hadn't really had an encounter where there was even a hint of connection between him and someone else, and she was very curious. Maybe Lori was right. Maybe this _was_ the best way to help him.

Lincoln felt a kiss on top of his head before she said "Thanks Lincoln…but I'd rather do it through more…traditional means."

She started singing a song she felt fit the mood and situation. As she sung, she repositioned herself so she could look him dead in the eyes.

_Moment of honesty_

_Someone's gotta take the lead tonight, who's it gonna be?_

She switched which verse she was singing.

_Time is only wastin', so why wait for eventually_

_If were gon do somethin' 'bout it_

She stopped singing to give him a kiss.

_We should do it right now_

He got the message. He started sliding her shirt off as she continued to sing.

_You give me a feelin' that I've never felt before_

The shirt came off as she sung, with no bra on underneath, and she tossed it aside, going to work on his.

_And I deserve it, I know I deserve it, no-o_

_It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore_

Like with hers, she tossed his shirt aside. She spent the next few lines of singing feeling his chest, him reciprocating the action on her own chest and sides, before both eventually went for their partner's clothes resting on their wastes.

_It's what we make it_

_I was wonderin' maybe, could I make you my baby?_

_If we do the unthinkable, will it make us look crazy?_

_Or would it be so beautiful? Either way, I'm sayin'…_

She finally went for the clothes on his waist, which he took as the signal to go after hers. Before she pulled down, though, she looked him right in the eyes for the final line she sung, a smile forming as she sung it.

_If you ask me, I'm ready_

They both pulled down and got rid of those, too.

* * *

Lincoln woke up wrapped in Luna's arms, his sister still sleeping next to him. He shifted to try and find the clock in her room and found that three hours had past since he first put the kids down for a nap. Without any concern for Luna's slumber, he hopped off her bed, completely naked. Luna had woken up, too, which Lincoln noticed when he turned around. "Hey Linc."

"Hey Luna. Can you toss me my pants?"

She reached under her sheets to fish out his jeans and underwear, tossing them down to him when she found them.

"What's the rush, dude?"

"I need to check on Liena and Loan. I put them down three hours ago."

"Oh, crap!" Luna was shocked awake by that as well. They spent almost no time thinking about them when they were talking, and they most certainly didn't think about them at any point after they were done talking. Almost as quick as he was throwing his clothes on, she threw hers on, though he got done first since he realized it everything before she did.

He wasted no time in making it to the crib his children were in. To his immense relief, they were fine, with no accidents or crying to be heard. They were awake, though, and Lincoln counted himself lucky that he woke up when he did.

"How are my little girls doing?" He reached in and scooped up the two of them in both of his arms. "Sorry daddy had to be gone for so long."

"They doin' alright?"

"Their fine. They woke up around the same time that I did. Sorry about waking you up, too."

"Nah, you're fine, bro. Want me to take one of the two dudettes out of your hands?"

"If you can, please." She came over to grab Liena out of his arms and sat on Leni's bed. Liena looked up to her and flashed a smile that made her develop one of her own.

"By the way, Luna?"

"Yeah bro?"

"Thanks…for earlier, and…for everything, too. I needed that."

"No problem, dude, and thanks for talking to me about everything."

"No big deal. I'm glad those weights are off." He looked back down at Loan and noticed she was getting a little restless in his arms. "Hey, would you mind holding her for a minute? It's about their feeding time."

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Thanks…oh, and Luna."

She looked up at him. "Not a word about what happened to the others."

"My lips are sealed."

"Thanks."

He made his way down to the kitchen as his parents, Luan, and his younger sisters having gotten back from their time out today running some errands.

"Hey son. How're the girls doing?"

"From what I can tell, they're doing good. They just woke up, and it's time for them to eat."

He reached into the cupboard that contained the baby food and pulled a jar out. "Do you want us to take care of that, sport?"

"You don't have to. I can get it." Of course, the twins had other plans as they ran up to him and asked if they could do it. "Alright, go ahead. They're in Lori's room." He trusted them enough that they knew what to do. He saw them do it before, so he had confidence in them. Lana grabbed two spoons and they raced to Lori's room.

"Oh, honey? Did you take your prescription today?"

"Yes, I did. Don't have to worry until tonight comes around."

"Hey, Linc, did Luna come back yet?"

"Yeah. She's been home since I first put the girls down for their nap."

"Thanks." Luan headed upstairs to hear if the good news came back from the record label. She found her outside of Lori's room, watching the twins feed the babies.

"Hey now! Are you a Rockstar?"

Rather than acknowledge the reference or respond to the question she was asking, Luna responded with "Sis, can we talk privately?"

Luan's smile faded as she saw the somber face her sister was wearing. "Yeah…yeah, of course." She pulled out her car keys and they started walking to her car. Over the years, the girls started taking privacy a lot more seriously, and it was something they weren't getting in the house. As a result, a private chat always happened in the backseat of someone's car, now. Luan was a bit afraid that Luna had returned to find out the label didn't pick them up. Hopefully, she could help Luna with whatever was bugging her.

* * *

_SMACK_

Luan wasn't exactly someone who used was used to hitting others, but what she had just heard made it impossible to hold back from slapping her own sister across the face. She looked at Luna with an angry expression, but her tears and voice came from sadness.

"W-why?"

"I told you why, and I told you not to freak out."

"How could I not after hearing that?!" Luan was shedding tears but she wasn't actively crying. "Luna, you slept with him! After we spent so much time attacking Lori for it, now you just went ahead and did it, too?"

"So did Leni-"

"You made the EXACT SAME SCREW-UP AS THOSE TWO DID!"

"IT WASN'T A SCREW-UP, ALRIGHT?!"

"HOW IS IT NOT?!"

Luna took some time to catch her breath and control her voice. "Listen, you know what Lincoln's been through. Twice now, he has been used by girls who only acted in their own self-interest. Lori didn't even ask, and Leni did it after a breakup. He needed someone to be with him, someone he could actually connect with. Now I'm not proud of the fact that it was with my own brother, but he needed this, badly."

Luan could only shake her head at hearing all of that. "Listen to you! You sound like Lori!"

"So what if I do? We acknowledged that she had a point-"

"BECAUSE WE WERE THE ONES WHO RESCUED HIM FROM HER!" Luna shut right up at hearing that. "Are you forgetting that you were the one who pulled her off of him?! The one who put so much focus on making things easier for him to find out about everything? I was standing _right outside _the bathroom door when I heard you tell Lori that she should have an abortion. Why would you just go and throw all that away?"

After some silence on her part, she responded "…I didn't throw it away. I tried to rectify it."

Luan responded by leaning back into her seat with her hands firmly pressed against her face in sheer frustration. She wasn't even trying to be subtle when she did it, which really annoyed Luna.

"Y'know what?! Do you want an apology?! Fine! I'm sorry I tried to help our brother when he needed it!"

"Can you stop saying the word 'need'?!" You didn't _need _to have sex with him!" Now it was Luna's turn to throw herself back into her seat in frustration. Both took a few seconds to gain control of themselves before one of them decided to speak up. "Luna, do you remember the night when everyone found out?"

Luna only looked out of the window on her side of the car, staring at their house. "All too well."

"Remember how heartbroken the rest of the sisters were to find out? Remember how Lincoln reacted?" She didn't want to. "I thought we all agreed we never wanted to see him like that again. We wanted to continue to be a family, a normal family. None of us were happy when Leni said she did it, too." A brief silence followed. "You know, I thought you were going to be the best of us. If there was someone I could trust to not go down that path, it was you. You were the one who saved him, and you were the one that was always worried about him when he left the house for _any_ reason." Her voice started to give way to genuine anguish at her sister's actions. She sounded really hurt. "Why happened? What changed? Why?"

Luna could only respond with tears. She wanted so badly to believe she did the right thing. She did it specifically to _help _Lincoln. She shouldn't have taken him up on his offer. She heard him give her a green light and she just jumped. He was the one going through some stuff and wasn't thinking clearly. He could be forgiven. How could Luna defend herself? Luan was right, but she wasn't happy about it.

Having gotten all of her frustrations out of her, not wanting to go any farther after working her older sister to tears, her instincts as a sister took over and she leaned over to hug Luna. "…I'm sorry" was all she could whisper as she continued to cry. Luan simply took a deep breath as she responded "It's okay", the single hardest case of forgiveness she had ever given someone. "But you need to tell that to Lincoln, too."

"No, I…I can't. H-He thinks w-what happened was good. H-He doesn't want to hear me say that it wasn't."

"I'll take you word for it, but Luna?" She pulled herself back to look at her sister dead in the eyes. "You have to tell him at some point. You don't have to do it now or tomorrow, but you have to explain yourself to him at some point. He deserves to know." Luna simply nodded in agreement as she wiped her eyes. They ended their talk and went back inside. While on their way back in, Lori and Leni drove up to the house, coming back from their activities. Leni got out of the car first and called on Luan.

"Hey, Luan? Do you know where Lincoln is? I need to tell him something."

"Either in his room or the living room, probably."

"Thanks."

Leni was fairly quick to make it into the house. When she didn't spot Lincoln in the living room, she made her way up to his room. She heard voices coming from her room, though, and decided first to check on Liena. As it turns out, Lincoln was in there, too, monitoring the twins as they cared for the two kids. Leni couldn't help but smile at seeing the sight, but in a rare case of having her mind completely set on something, she went to get Lincoln's attention.

"Lincoln?"

"Hey Leni. Do you need something?"

"Can I talk to you alone for a second?"

Without saying a word, he got up off of Leni's bed and followed her to his room. She closed the door and leaned up against it in a defeated manner.

"Is something wrong?"

"Lincoln, I…I wanted to say that I'm sorry about the night I had sex with you. I know you said 'yes', but I was only using you, and I'm really sorry about that. You deserved better."

"Wow…um…thanks, Leni. What brought this on?"

"I was out with Lori today and we started talking about you, and she just kept talking about how strong you were after everything you've been through, which I didn't get since I don't normally see you lift weights."

Lincoln was taken aback by all of this. He hadn't given the thought about what his sisters might be thinking about him during all of this. With the fantasizing out of the way, he mainly thought about his kids and thinking less-than-pleasant thoughts about his sisters and their mistakes towards him. And yet, Leni just sincerely apologized for what she did and, what he thought was the bigger point of interest, Lori was praising his resilience in all of this. It made him feel guilty about thinking about them in a nasty manner. Maybe he was wrong. They really were trying to change, and he just wasn't taking the time to look for it.

"Anyway, it started to make me feel bad since you were so great to us growing up and I just felt bad about how everything went, so I'm sorry and I want you to know that you never have to worry about it happening again."

Completely taken off guard by everything she said, he simply responded "Um…man, I don't even know what to say. Thank you…and I'm sorry if I haven't been the easiest to work with."

"You don't have anything to apologize for, Linky." She walked over and hugged him, which he gladly returned. She left his room afterwards, leaving Lincoln to just sit down on his bed, satisfied that their relationship was mostly restored. It probably never would, since Liena existed, but, at least, they could still see each other as actual brother and sister now.

* * *

Luan had woken up at a fairly early time for a Sunday, her clock reading 8:17, but she wanted to get up before the others did, which was usually nine-ish. She had spent a good portion of last night thinking about everything that was going on with her family. She still loved them, but she was getting more and more upset about hearing about these stories happening in their house. Did she hate the kids? No. All she hated was the circumstances surrounding everything. She felt some change was in order, and that's why she wanted to wake up early when her siblings weren't.

She got up and quietly made her way out of the door, being careful to not wake Luna, who wasn't up yet. She made her way downstairs to see her parents up. Good, she needed them to be.

Rita was the first to notice her since she was sitting at the dinner table. "Morning, sweetie."

"Morning. Uh, mom, dad? Can I talk to you both for a minute?"

"Sure honey." Lynn got up from the couch and made his way into the dining room. After Luan got some coffee, she sat across from them and made her announcement to them.

"Mom, dad…I think I'm ready to move out."

* * *

**Song used was Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready) by Alicia Keys, though the version I had in mind was the live bearface (BROCKHAMPTON) cover of the song.**

**Like I said, there was a lot of dialogue to write in this chapter. I think the hardest thing about writing this chapter was thinking about what the characters would believably say. Lincoln I took some liberties with, as I imagined him, by this point, having gone through a bunch of talks with his sisters and just being sick of having to listen to them over and over again, taking it out on the next sister who wanted to talk. Let me just say, writing Lincoln like he was being portrayed by Jesse Eisenburg really helped me in developing this chapter how I wanted it to. Actually, my inspiration for a lot of the dialogue was watching scenes from the movie _The Social Network. _ Odd correlation, I know, but hey, inspiration can come from anywhere at any time.**

**Thanks for reading. I plan on making the next chapter a bit more easy-going as I use it to help play catch up on the characters lives so far. I was so caught up in developing the plot that I neglected to talk about how everyone's lives were going so far. See everyone around for the next one.**


	7. Sooner or Later

**While everyone reading this story knows that I've been fairly liberal with my use of timeskips, I need to draw the line here. I'm writing in the original Sin Kids as seen in drawings posted on DA, and while I'm going chronologically for each kid, I am changing the ages a bit. Like for the first three sisters, instead of a two-year difference in age, I only made it one, and after the next kid is born, I don't want the next kid to be born until four years later, rather than three. As such, I think we can all agree that a four-year timeskip would be asinine. As such, the next few chapters are going to be a bit of filler, but it's necessary filler. The sisters are changing and doing things that, while on the surface probably doesn't look like much, plays into their characters later, and as Lincoln's daughters age, they need to be given their respective personalities. So please bear with me during this gap between the sisters being born. For now, two plot points are still hanging after last chapter, so let's bring about a bit of resolution, shall we?**

**Edit: Forgot to mention this. The drummer and bassist in this story are the two friends Sam was hanging out with during L is For Love. I know they don't have canon names yet, and I wasn't sure what the most popular fan-made names were, so I just made my own for them.**

**Disclaimer: The Loud House and characters belong to Nickelodeon.**

* * *

"Are you sure about this, honey?"

"Yes. While I don't have a set budget yet, the money I've earned from those roles I did and my channel online have left me stable enough that I can afford something nice."

"I wasn't asking about your budget, Luan. I was asking if you feel prepared to. You're only 21, and you don't have the benefit of having gone to college to get a taste of independence yet."

"I know, dad, but I've been doing my own thing for years now. Remember, I was barely a teenager when I ran Funny Business, and with Luna being gone so much to practice and record with her band, I'm used to having a space all to myself. Besides…I just really need my own space, right now. I mean, I love you guys and all, but I just want to be on my own, now."

It was Rita's turn to chime in. "We love you too, sweetie, and your father and I understand, but I do have to ask. Do you have an idea of where you want to move, because If you get cast for more roles, you may not be living in Michigan for much longer."

"I know that, and I've actually been planning to move out to California at some point anyway because of that and my channel…but right now, I really don't know which one I should do, if I should stay here a little longer, or if I should move out there now."

"Well…" Lynn got up from his chair and walked around the table to his daughter. "That's a decision only you can make, kiddo. It's what you think is best, and whichever you chose…" He put his hand on her shoulder. "Just know that your mom and I will support you in it."

"Thanks dad." She gave him a hug, which he returned as well. She was hoping he'd have the answer for her, the last order she'd take from him before gaining full independence, but he knew that she was an adult now that had to make this decision on her own. It was her life and she had to make the decision that would make her happy, not her parents. Well, at least she would have something to do for the rest of the day…and the next couple months, alongside her work.

After getting some actual breakfast in the form of a bowl of Cheerios with banana slices mixed in, she made her way upstairs to get ready for the day. The beauty of being the first sibling up (well, that didn't have a kid) was that the bathroom was open for the taking, though Luan wasn't known to be much of a hog compared to some of her other sisters. She made her way into her room and saw that Luna was up, but still laying in her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Morning, Luna."

"Morning, dude…"

Luan took notice of her attitude. "Are you still upset about last night?"

"Yes, but for a different reason. I didn't just mess up with Lincoln when we slept together."

"You're talking about Sam?"

"When everything was happening, I completely forgot she even existed…"

"You don't sound angry, though." All Luna could respond with was bringing her hand to her face in frustration.

"Luna, is everything okay between you and Sam?"

"Do you even have to ask that?..."

"What happened between you two?"

"I don't know. This is the third time we've tried to give this a shot and I still can't find it in me to be more dedicated. I thought a couple breaks would help us, but…if I'm being honest, I didn't miss her as much as I should've."

"…You don't love her, do you?"

"…There's no spark, anymore. It just…stopped being fun and exciting. With everything going on here, our commitment to getting the band going, and other stuff…"

"You don't want to be in a relationship right now." It was amazing how easily Luan could read her older sister.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I…I don't know. I want things to work out. I really do, but…I'm not sure it can. We took _breaks. _That shouldn't have to happen."

"Luna…if you're this unsure and because of the stuff that happened to you guys before…why do you think it _will_ work?"

"Because I want something stable, dude. We both know I'm not going to get it from our family…especially after yesterday. Music, while fun, is insanely unpredictable, and I can't count on the band to stay together forever. I just want something that I can count on in my life that's considered 'normal.'"

"Your relationship with Sam isn't stable, Luna."

"I want it to be, though. Maybe things can finally change for us."

"Can you really count on that after yesterday, though? Cheating's not a sign of a healthy relationship."

"Fuuuuuuck..." Luna whispered, clearly exasperated.

Luna had little to defend herself. Her relationship with Sam was, to put it mildly, rocky. The band really hurt their relationship, since both were laser focused on getting the band off the ground, spending much more time on that than spending time together. A typical timeline for the two in a day would be to go to the studio to record stuff (sometimes for most of the day), have one or a few moments of intimacy between the two while on break or afterwards, and have one of the two eventually leave due to either family stuff or pre-planned engagements. On top of that, the spark the two had at the beginning was fading fast. They had been together, on and off twice, for six years, and neither had really thought about tying the knot at any point. Again, laser focused on getting their music careers with the band going. That caused a lot of disconnect between them as they seemed like they could never hold a conversation that wasn't based on their agenda as a band or music in general. That one Detroit show only added to the disconnect, and finally, Luna had to deal with everything she and her siblings were going through since Lori assaulted Lincoln, which Sam couldn't know about and, as a result, communication between the couple was extremely limited.

All the signs were not in favor of the girls' relationship lasting, and the cherry on top of that was what Luna just admitted, that Sam seemed more like a means to a selfish end than an actual partner. That is not what a healthy relationship is made of. Despite this, Luna had always thought of the two as a couple that could persevere through anything. When they had their first date during the astonishing quest, their thoughts of being perfect for each other were completely dashed when they found out that had very little in common, aside from their enjoyment of music and their poor baking skills. Still, they stuck it out and tried to make it work anyway, working to discover new things together. It could've (and probably would've) worked had the two not been so caught up in their ambitions as a band. It was clear for the both of them, but especially Luna, that music was their true love, and in relationships, you only get out of it as much as you're willing to put in.

"Luna…I know you guys really like each other, or at least, used to, but I just don't want you to have to deal with what I went through with Benny." Now there was a name from Luan's past. Like Luna, high school was where she had met her first love, even being the first guy she ever kissed. Their status as a couple lasted all throughout high school, but that's as far as they got. Benny's aspirations to be in theatre pushed him to attend a school for such affairs, and while he wouldn't have minded staying in Royal Woods, when a college like CalArts accepts you, it's hard to turn down an offer like that, especially on a generous scholarship. Luan, meanwhile, wanted to stay behind and work on her stand-up. While she enjoyed her experience in playing Juliet in her school's production of the Shakspearian classic, she never really cared much for theatre. Her passion was in-the-moment comedy, something Broadway would've frowned upon. Because of this, they ended their relationship, and Luan spent a good month recovering from the break-up, her first one.

"I know, and I appreciate your help on this, sis. I just feel like this is way more complicated than what you and him went through."

"So why stay in it if it's complicated?"

"I just told you, for stability."

"And like I told you, this isn't stable. You guys seem like you're driving yourselves crazy, and if I'm being honest…I think it should stop."

Luan hopped up on the bunk so she was eye to eye with Luna. "Please, Luna. You two shouldn't be treating each other like this. I just don't want to see you hurt, okay?" Luna nodded. "I know you don't want to hear any of this, but…I think a longer break would help you both." She pulled her older sister in for a hug before hopping down from the bed to get a fresh set of clothes to change into. She then went to go change in the bathroom, silently hoping others were up to use it too and she would have to wait.

Luna, meanwhile, knew what she had to do. She looked at the clock and saw that it was passed nine. Cool. Sam was usually wide awake at this point, and they needed to talk. She hopped down from her bed to grab her phone off of the nightstand, unplugged it, and dialed her girlfriend's number. With each ring came more and more anxiety. She wasn't sure how this would end, just hoping that it would be on slightly better terms than what she was expecting them to. For Luan, it turns out that there was a line she had to wait in, the twins having woken up by this point. She wanted to wait in line so she didn't have to enter the room while the phone call between the two was going on, but neglected to remember the house's thin walls. As much as she didn't want to, she heard her sister's voice as she made the call, and despite not wanting to, she focused in on the conversation.

"Hey Sam."

…

"You are?"

...

"Really? Cause I wanted to, as well."

…

"Yeah. Go ahead."

…

"Yeah. I know."

…

"That, too."

…

_*sigh*_ "That's actually why I was calling."

…

"Yeah, I_…_I do Sam. I'm sorry."

…

"I guess it is."

…

"Listen, Sam. I don't regret what we had, and…I want to thank you…for everything. You were my first relationship, so you'll always be someone special to me."

…

"Thanks, Sam."

…

"You, too."

…

"Seeya, dude."

"Luan?"

"Huh?" She was snapped into reality.

"You're up for the lavatory."

"Oh. Sorry, Lise."

* * *

Luna knew this was for both of their interests, but that didn't stop her from crying. She felt like she just lost a part of herself. Her relationship with Sam had always seemed enduring. Even when the two went through a rough patch, they would always gravitate towards each other in the end. Heck, even on the breaks, they were just that, breaks. They always planned to get back together afterwards, showing they never saw themselves as finished. They couldn't say that now. They had actually broken up. It was mutual, but that didn't make it anymore painful. It was official. Luna had to finally endure an actual break-up.

Luan had walked back into the room to see her sister leaning against the wall, tears rolling down her face. She already knew what happened, so she allowed her acting skills to shine through and feigned concern.

"What happened?"

"We broke up…She felt the exact same way."

That actually was surprising. "…She did?"

"Yeah." Luna got up and walked to Luan and gave her a tight hug. "Thanks for pushing me to do it." Luan couldn't respond, and all she could do was watch her sister leave the room in a much better shape than she was when she broke up with Benny. There were tears, but they were comparable to a creek, rather than a dam bursting.

With a sigh, Luan remembered what she came into her room to do, so she booted up her laptop and opened a few online realty websites on Chrome. She went to work comparing Detroit metropolitan homes with those of the Los Angeles metropolitan, bookmarking a few houses she thought she might like to tour. The good news for her was that, with her EyeTube channel so big and her experience in stand-up, she could schedule a show out in the area in the coming months that she could use at an excuse to fly out there and see the properties. She had an expendable worth of about $700,000, with more coming in the more she worked on her routines, channel, and acting. So long as she kept her expectations in check, money wasn't much of an issue.

Now the good news regarding buying a house in those two cities was that the market was fairly stable in pricing. They weren't like New York where the housing prices seemed much higher than what the house should actually be worth. That said, LA has its own housing market oddities. For one, STAY AWAYfrom the city, unless paying nine digits, no decimal points, was an appealing prospect. Second, much like Detroit, the city's constant association with crime was not kind to the housing market there. Luan already knew that areas like Compton were out of the running. In fact, the more she searched, the more she was convinced living within or near LA's city limits wouldn't work for her, at least not on her budget. The two areas within the metro that she settled on were Long Beach and Anaheim, as both had a few decent properties if one was willing to look for them. The only problem was that most properties seemed to be subjected to the ever-(in)famous California financial rules. Even for someone who was just starting out, Luan had a hard time comprehending how a studio apartment can justifiably cost over $200,000. They properties weren't even that close to the city, so they couldn't even be sold on the view they gave. Turns out that those jokes Luan always heard about how everything in California costs double or triple compared to everywhere else may not have been jokes after all.

While the tab that had the Detroit listings was still open, she never went back to it since focusing on her search in the Los Angeles region. The more she thought about it, the more she felt it would be best for her to move away from the family and keep some distance. She felt she had to do this for both herself and her family. It would allow her to distance herself from the drama that was unfolding before and, hopefully, make sure she wasn't the next one in line. This would also force her to fully grow up. Like the rest of her siblings, she learned independence through her hobby that only she took part in. Funny Business was entirely because of her and she made it what it's become. She has since moved away from doing birthday parties, but she carried the brand to the internet, using it as her channel name and her umbrella term for all of the different routines, skits, and other forms of comedy she performs. She didn't use it for acting, as the phrase wouldn't make sense if she ever broke into more serious roles. The only things she wasn't using the brand for was merchandise, which she didn't sell due to perceiving that as "selling out", and she wanted to keep the brand as authentic as possible and not be corporatized, though the money she probably would get would be nice to have.

Moving to LA, though, would be a whole different kind of independence. She may have created her own business, but she always had her family. Part of the reason she didn't move out was because she wanted to simply stay with them still. She loved them dearly, and despite what was happening, nothing would change that. From now on, though, she would have only herself to rely on. She wouldn't have a rock out there like she did here, a shoulder to lean on, someone she can always go to for help. Everything would entirely be on her, all of her decisions, all of her responsibilities. She was going to be on her own, and as scary as that was, she knew she was ready for it, challenges and all.

Luna eventually came back after getting breakfast and using the bathroom. Luan took notice. "You doing okay, Luna?"

"Yeah. I am." She gave Luan a genuine smile that showed she wasn't trying to lie. It may sting now, but it helped knowing this is what Sam wanted, too. For now, she wanted to get her mind off of things, and since it was her unwritten rule to use the day after a binge-recording session to unwind, she needed to find something to do. First, she needed to change. She grabbed some clothes, headed to the bathroom, and came back fully dressed. She then went to sit beside Luan and looked at the computer screen.

"So, whatcha doin'?"

Luan was going to have to confess this to her sooner or later. "…Looking at houses."

"In LA?"

"Yeah."

"Is that where you want to move to, someday?"

"Not just someday. Soon." Luna began to show shock. "I already told mom and dad. I…think I want to be moved in in a few months."

This was definitely news Luna wasn't expecting. "W-When did you decide this?"

"Last night." Luan felt a tinge of guilt for saying this to her sister and roommate after she just went through a break-up. "I'm sorry, Luna, but with everything going on, I feel it's best to move out on my own." A lot could be referred by that statement, but Luna could guess that she was the main reason why.

It wasn't even noon yet, and Luna already had two big things happen to her, and they both involved important people loosening ties with her. She should probably have been angry, sad, or frustrated, but instead, she felt a tinge of pride in her sister. She pulled Luan into a hug and whispered to her "This was going to happen at some point. Sorry if I was the one that made you go."

"I-It wasn't just you. If acting takes off for me…"

"I know, sis. I'm happy for you. I really am." She was happy that Luan was finally tasting independence. Lori had, so far, been the only person to fully move out, having moved in with Bobby to a suburb of Great Lakes City and getting a job as a market research analyst for a jewelry company. Luna was happy it was her roommate that was going to become the second sibling to move out and make her life her own.

Luan couldn't help but return the hug with equal strength now. "Thanks, Luna. I'm going to miss you."

"I will, too, but first…" She ended the hug. "You actually need to find someplace to move to."

"Are you offering to help me out?"

"Well, I got nothing better to do today, so…"

"Gee, thanks. Nice to know I'm just an afterthought."

"You should be happy I think of you at all."

"You know what, Luna? There is an open window right over there. Do me a favor and have a nice _fall."_

They both couldn't help but bust out laughing. It felt good for the both of them to actually find a moment to just screw around and tease each other. Eventually, though, the laughing ended. "But seriously, dude, mind if I glance a peak at the places you're looking up? If this deal takes off, I'm, more than likely, going to take a few trips out that way for things like touring, and depending how big we get, I just may stay there, too, just for the studios they got out there."

"Sure. If anything, it would put me to ease."

"Thanks sis. So, catch me up. What have you been looking at so far?"

"Well, here's what I've got right now." She pulled up three houses that she was showing an interest in. The two spent a good amount of time talking about what they expect living out that way to be like, costs of living, and what they would want their houses to look like. Of all the things to draw these two closer together after last night, it was real estate that was pushing them along the most.

* * *

Lynn was sitting inside Robinson Restaurant, having just finished the burger and turkey sandwich she had gotten for herself. She was there with three of her friends from the track team: Stephanie, Anika, and Bethany. They were celebrating their victory at the track meet from yesterday, but Lynn was staring out of the window, a satisfied smirk crossing her face.

"Hey! Lynn!"

"Huh? What?"

"You're thinking about it again, aren't you? Our meet yesterday?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You almost never glow like this, not even after the hook-ups you tell us about."

"I'm not that bad, Beth."

"Yes, you are."

Being friends ever since they met at orientation, the three girls were good at observing what made Lynn tick. There were two things that Lynn was not good at hiding her feelings about: her family and her hatred for the University of Michigan, the school she once viewed as her dream school.

She still remembered the last two years of high school and how hard she worked to make herself an attractive prospect that colleges would be willing to offer her scholarships for. While she played multiple sports through high school, she knew that college was not a place where you could easily manage time if you overloaded yourself. As such, when her junior year of high school came around, she settled on cross country, working hard to make herself the single most well-conditioned runner in her school. She worked hard, really hard, so much so that it took a serious toll on her grades, with C's being the main grade that popped up on her report card, with the odd B and an A showing up for classes that were either easy or, because this was Lynn, gym.

She was a star, being able to keep up with those taller than she was (she would go on to have the dubious distinction of being the shortest of the Loud siblings by the time they all reached adulthood). She was the one that carried the team through thick and thin, winning matches that they shouldn't have won through her skill and determination. Footage of her feats were sent to several colleges across the United States. There was only one school, however, that she wished to go to more than any other: The University of Michigan. The reasons were obvious; it was, perhaps, the school with the most well-known athletic department in all of the northern United States, a program that ranked alongside colleges like Notre Dame and Alabama for just how prestigious it was to call yourself a member of one of their teams (though everyone knew them for football, which Lynn couldn't play for justified reasons). It was in her home state, making trips home easier, and they had a passionate student section that would be ready to cheer her name every time she set foot on the track. She wanted it, lusted after it in a way no other person in her family had ever done before.

So it was with complete shock, anger, and sadness that she received the letter from them saying that she had been denied admission. It was the single harshest moment of her life, being rejected from the school she saw as perfect. After she found out, the five stages of grief kicked in, and hard. She called up the admissions office saying that something must've been screwed up, but they assured her nothing had. After that, she endured a week of absolute hell. She screamed, she yelled, she called back to try and bargain, she tried to throw out all of her sports stuff (which her father quickly put a stop to), and couldn't see herself as anything but a failure. It was the hardest lesson she had to learn, that no matter how hard she tried, there were others that were trying just as hard, and they just happened to be the ones that the university wanted on their teams.

After the week had passed, her anger at herself quickly turned into anger at the school. She was trying her hardest and the school apparently didn't see that. Her sadness turned to motivation, to make them regret turning her down. She started to enroll in other colleges in the state that had good academic programs as well. She tried for Michigan State, but her lackluster academics were the reason she was rejected there. She then tried Central Michigan, and they were the ones to give them the chance she wanted from a school. They even offered her a really good scholarship, but that was granted with the expectation that her grades would improve when she actually became a student at the university. Finally! A school that was willing to give her a chance, and she vowed not to waste it.

The truth about college is that, in order to gain recognition as the best on the team, you have to be viewed as a transcendent talent. Otherwise, you just blend in with the rest of the team. This was what Lynn had experienced ever since she got here; rather than be viewed as _the _star, she was more _a _star, her fellow teammates being on par with her skills. They had to be, though, seeing as most of these girls were here on scholarships as well, and those aren't something that colleges are willing to give out to the next person that breathes. She didn't mind it, though. That meant that girls were just as passionate as she was, taking the burden away from her of being the one the team always counted on like in middle school and high school.

Yesterday was the matchup she had been waiting for ever since they got their schedule for the season, their meet against the University of Michigan. This was it. Now was the time to prove those jerks that she had what it took to be a part of their team. She trained for a straight week, making sure she was perfect for when the meet happened. There were no butterflies, but there was no confidence, either. All she had was determination, determined to win, determined to prove that they made the wrong decision. Did she come through with that wish? Yes, she did. Her whole team did. They won, and Lynn got her revenge. She had never celebrated so much in her life, and the smile she wore when she crossed first, the smile of sheer triumphant joy, photographed on the sidelines, would be the image that the team rallied around for the rest of the season.

Today was the cool-down day, and they were celebrating by grabbing some lunch at the dining hall together. Lynn was still smiling at the whole thing, feeling like she had just brought closure to such a terrible moment in her life.

"Sorry, guys. Just relishing in the sweet revenge."

"We know. You aren't shy about it, or a lot of other things."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She said with a sly smile.

"I can't tell if you're smiling because we won, or if you're suggesting something." Staphanie said, wearing a contemplating look on her face as she was eating her salad.

"Yes" was what Lynn responded with.

"Ahhh, so somebody got some last night."

"I was on a rush. What can I say?"

"How many times has it been with Brad now? That's got to be, like, the twelfth since you got together."

"Double that and add eight." Brad and Lynn met each other in their first semester English class and they quickly hit it off. The two were a passionate couple that always celebrated each other's victories the exact same way. Unfortunately, the relationship was mainly built on those encounters, as both were on the hook for mediocre grades out of high school and spent a good amount of their time studying so they didn't lose their scholarships. School and sports were the priority while their relationship came (in a distant) third. That explains why the sex between the two was always such a workout in its own right.

Lynn felt her phone vibrate and pulled it out to see Luan was calling. As her friends started their own chat about how much they had sex (and how well their partners performed), she picked up.

"Hey Luan, what's up?"

"_Hi, Lynn. I have some news." *pause* "I've decided that I'm going to be moving out on my own in a couple months."_

"W-What?"

"_Yeah. There is a lot that's been happening for me, and I think I'm finally ready to live on my own. I thought it would be good to call and tell you."_

"Wow, I…uh…wow. It's just so weird. I'm so used to you being home with the rest of us."

"_I know, but I think it's time."_

"You have a place in mind?"

"_I just started looking this morning, but…I think I'm going to move out to LA."_

"That far?!" Lynn jumped out of her seat and slammed her free hand onto the table, startling her friends.

"Oh…sorry guys. That far, Luan?"

"_Yeah. I think it's the best option. If I want my brand to take off, that's the best market for it."_

"Well…looks like I need to make a trip home at some point to say goodbye."

"_Looks like it."_

"Listen, sis." She couldn't think of what to say, deciding on "Good luck with the search. I'll miss you when you leave."

"_Same here."_

"Alright, I'll talk to you later."

"_You too."_

"Bye."

"_Bye."_

She hung up and simply stared at her phone. "Everything okay, Lynn?"

"My sister's moving to California."

It sounded so strange to say. Lynn could be classified as the sibling that's the farthest away from home, right now, a good two and a half hours away. She always just assumed that everyone would stay around Detroit. Looks like she was wrong.

* * *

"Guys, I've decided to move out."

"What?! When did you decide this?"

"Last night. It won't be for a few months, though. I still need to search around and look at some properties."

"Do you know where?"

"Los Angeles. California."

While Lynn screamed at hearing that, the rest of her siblings just sat there without saying anything. Since this was Luan, maybe there was a chance of her joking, but the look in her eyes said that she was being true.

"Luan, a-are you sure about this?"

"I am, Lucy. I'm ready to be on my own."

"But that's so far away!"

"Sorry, Lily, but it's the best place for me to go."

More disbelief followed. They couldn't say it was unexpected for her to want to move out that way. Like Luna and Lola, she had her eyes set on the entertainment industry, and if you want to succeed in such an industry, you have to go to where the studios and markets are, and the city that does that better than any other was Los Angeles. But THAT FAR?! Even with what was happening with the family, they were still extremely close to one another. How could one of their own move so far away from the rest of them?

"Would it make you guys feel better if I told you I want to move to Anaheim?"

"Why would it?"

"Because that's where Disneyland is." Everyone's heads shot up and smiles formed. Their sister was going to be close to Disneyland? They always hoped for each other's success, but now they had even more of a reason to cheer for Luan to succeed. Family vacations in California would be freaking amazing.

"We're going whenever we visit." Lola demanded.

"Only if you guys buy your own tickets. I'm not paying that much for all of you."

"LUAN'S GONNA BE CLOSE TO DISNEYLAND!" The twins screamed. Well, at least that prospect, alone, made her moving easier to stomach for them. Besides, she wasn't moving out tonight. It wasn't like she was saying goodbye right then and there.

Of course, the high was going to eventually die, and everyone was once again reminded that she was going to move. Lincoln was the first to realize this, and walked up to her to give her a hug. "I'll miss you" he whispered. Did he believe it was his fault? It didn't matter. She would've moved out sooner or later. Eventually, everyone gave her a hug and said the same thing, with the twins giving her their world-famous double-hug. They were celebrating it now, but when the time actually came, they were going to cry. They did it with Lori, and they'll do it again.

* * *

After about a week and a half of Luan's decision, Luna got a phone call one afternoon from the band's engineer (and now, bassist) Brendon.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Luna. Sorry I haven't called you since we last saw each other at the studio. I'm guessing Salina called you to say they sacked Greg?"_

"Yeah, she did. I'm glad it's the four of us now. I never trusted that guy. Congrats on moving up, by the way."

"_Thanks, Lunes. Sam also called and told me you two broke up…Are you doing okay?"_

She paused…but gave a confident answer. "I am. You don't have to worry about me. We're both focused on the band."

"_Good, because I've got some good news."_

"What?"

"_Zipfire got back to us. They loved what they heard, and they want to sign us."_

"W-What…?"

"_Yeah…they want to sign us. They've already talked to me about some things. I've read over the contract already, and they're prepared to help us get good studio time, book gigs, help us get sponsorship opportunities, and all we have to do is agree to release a new album every one or two years. They just need your signature on a few documents and it'll be official, so we need you down here at the label's headquarters right away"_

Sam felt tears of joy coming. Her dream was becoming a reality. A label liked her music and wanted to sign her. Everything she worked so hard for was about to be hers, and this time, she didn't have to change anything about herself. It was only a couple signatures away. She could just barely choke out "I'll be there soon."

"_We did it, Luna. We did it."_

She hung up, collapsed to the ground, and simultaneously cried and celebrated in triumph. Luan, who was in the room with her, looked at what her sister was doing. At first, she was confused, but then it registered. "Did they like you?!"

"…I'm going to make it."

Luan simply ran and tackle-hugged her sister while she was still on the ground.

After a quick Lyft ride, she made it to the offices. Salina had apparently already left to celebrate with her family, but Sam and Brendon were still there, and so was chunk. If there was any sort of awkwardness between Sam and Luna in their first face-to-face after their break-up, it was completely negated thanks to the happiness the two felt at achieving their goals as musicians. Sam ran up and hugged Luna, which she returned in kind, happy tears falling down Sam's face as she hugged her ex. Luna soon ended it, though, and asked Brendon "So where do I need to go?"

Into the main office she went that had the contracts she needed to sign. She made sure to glance over them, learning from Lisa about how important it is to not screw yourself over by blindly signing a contract without knowing what the provisions are. She didn't find anything that would do that, though, and after signing the documents, it was official.

Her band had made it.

* * *

For the next couple months, Luan took a couple trips to Los Angeles, including one with Luna, to tour the different houses she thought she may like. The trip she took with Luna was the one where she found herself particularly impressed with a property near the center of Anaheim.

"This is a fairly new development. It has three bedrooms and two bathrooms, as well as hardwood floors." Her agent told her, opening the door.

The moment Luan walked in, she immediately fell in love. There was a lot of natural light, the kitchen was huge, she adored the master bedroom, and the bathrooms were much nicer than they had a right to be for a house like this. Of course, there were a few nitpicks she had. The exterior wasn't particularly attractive, there was nothing in the way of a yard, front or back, and none of the furniture came with the house, the current owners set on taking it all with them. But even with those problems, Luan still loved the house, especially the little amount of work she had to worry about putting into it. Aside from getting an inspector to go through the place, there was nothing she felt needed to be done with the place. It wasn't a hard decision for her to make. She wanted to put an offer on the table.

A bit of negotiating and $175,000 later, Luan was officially the owner of her own house. One of the nice things that came about with negotiating was that she was able to keep the appliances that were already in the house. Good. A couch and bed, she felt she could pick out, but a refrigerator and stove? Not likely. Paperwork was to follow, as well as buying furniture and insurance, which she expected to delay her move in by about two weeks, but the house was hers. Unlike Lori, who had Bobby to move in somewhere with, Luan did this all on her own, and her parents were never so proud of her. But even more than that, she was never so proud of herself.

Emotions ran high with the siblings the closer the date came to her moving. They spent time with each other doing the simple things they always did together, like go to the mall, the beach, and even squeezed in one last trip to DairyLand, which seemed smaller now that they were going to have a sibling that was going to live near a park that got _much _greater attendance. When it came time to say goodbye at the airport, some girls had an easy time saying goodbye while others took it hard. The worst was Lucy. For years, Lucy looked to Luan for guidance on how to navigate the world around her. The two were mentor and pupil, solidified after Luan gave up her record-setting dream to allow Lucy to have it instead. Lucy's relationship with her was one that she cherished for years after that, and so it was with some pain that Lucy had to say goodbye to the person that helped her reach new heights as a writer, and even more than that, the sister she had developed what was perhaps her strongest bond with.

After the other siblings gave their goodbyes, Lucy gave her a big hug, and while she managed to hold back on crying, she still choked out "Thanks…for everything."

"Think you'll be okay without me?" Luan knew what the bond she shared with Lucy meant to her as well.

"I can try, at least." They both smiled, released their hug, and they both wished each other good luck in the future. That only left Lincoln to say goodbye.

He wrapped her in another hug and simply told her "Thanks for doing this."

"I'm sorry I _had _to do this."

"Don't be. Sooner or later, you would've done it anyway." He released her from the hug and said "Have fun out there."

"I'll try. And Linc?"

"Yeah?"

"Stay safe." He nodded, and both parties parted ways, with Luan, Luna, and their parents catching the plane to LA while Lynn drove her and her siblings home.

* * *

"Alright, kiddo. You think you can take everything from here?"

"Yeah. Thanks dad."

"You're welcome, honey."

"My babies are growing up…" Luan now made two kids that Rita had to fully let go of now, and three that she couldn't get to see every day. Empty nest syndrome was something no mother wanted to develop, but my gosh, was it hard to think about her kids leaving her. "I'm gonna miss you so much."

"I'll miss you, too, mom. But I should be able to make it back for the holidays, and when my jobs fully take off, I should be able to visit any time I want."

"We hope they do, too. For now, work to get as much money as you can."

"I will. You can count on me to make _BANK_." She pulled out her debit card to make the joke, her last one with her parents before she was finally on her own. Everyone couldn't help but laugh at the joke. Her parents pulled her into a group hug, with Lynn saying "Good luck, kiddo. We love you." Rita repeated the 'I love you'.

"I love you guys, too."

"Luna, we'll be in the car. We'll be seeing you, Luan."

"Bye guys."

Lynn helped an emotional Rita to the car they rented to leave Luan alone with Luna.

"So…I guess we're not roommates anymore, huh dude?"

"Guess not."

"We had fun, though."

"Yeah, we did. Even though you could be annoying at times with how loud you blast your music…thanks for being such a great roommate."

"You too…" The two finally couldn't hold back and hugged each other hard.

"I'm really going to miss you!…"

"I will, too!..."

Having a sister for a roommate was always going to lead to a hard goodbye. It also wasn't like they were Lucy and Lynn, who got along for no better reasons than because they were family, they were the two middle sisters, and it satisfied the laws of 'opposites attract'. Luna and Luan had hobbies that were similar in ways, the obvious being that they were stage entertainers, and with Luan branching into acting, their hobbies complimented each other. Much like the rest of their sisters, their time as roommates made them a team. They bonded with each other, practicing their hobbies together in their shared room, talking with each other at night before bed. They even had a bunk bed, where having two people was necessary to get the best experience.

But they were both of the age where they had to fend for themselves. They were adults, and there was no handholding when a person finally gets out on their own. It was a hard pill to swallow for the two, knowing they could no longer be the duo they once were, but it was necessary. Plus, with Luna's record deal, she was inevitably going to be flying out here more for studio time and gigs.

"Well…have fun. And like you said, make some bank."

"I'll try my hardest."

"You'll get there, and sooner or later, I'll come by ready to bug you whenever I'm out this way."

"Good luck with the band."

"Thanks, sis, and good luck to you, too. Think you're actually ready?"

"It's not like I have a choice, now."

"Yeah…Well, I should head out with them. I'll see you around."

"Luna?"

"Yeah?"

"Even though I haven't fully gotten over what happened…when you find out, can you call me to tell me if you're having a boy or a girl?"

"I will."

"Thanks." They walked to the front door to see their dad ready to drive off when Luna got in with him and their mother. They exchanged one final hug with each other.

"I love you, sis."

"I love you, too."

And Luna left to get into the car with her parents, on their way back to the hotel to sleep and catch the early flight home next morning. Luan watched as the three of them waved goodbye to her, before they turned the corner and were out of sight.

She closed the door behind her and fell to the ground, the emotions and realizations running higher than they had ever done. It was done. She had accomplished what she set out to do and her family wasn't going to be with her from now on.

Luan was on her own.

* * *

**While I actually think that Sam and Luna make a good couple, I needed them to not be together for my story, since this is a Sin Kids story and, with how I'm framing it, polyamory is completely out of the question (no way Sam would be okay with that). Also, I'm not entirely sold on their longevity as a couple just yet. A lot of this is because they are a new item, and since they're in high school, I'm afraid to make long-term predictions about them. This being a show primarily aimed at kids, they'll probably be portrayed as a couple to last a lifetime, but considering my experience in high school of being surrounded by couples that broke up after graduation and college started, my rational side is telling me to show restraint, and for this story, I decided to use that restraint and show what might happen if they did break up. Plus, they always say that you should never date a co-worker, and if they were in a band together, I think it's fair to assume that their focus would be more on their music than each other.**

**Also, as stated in the previous chapter, I'm experimenting with different storytelling techniques and elements, and one that always intrigued me was the idea of a one-sided phone call, so I tried it here for the break-up. While I understand if everyone wanted to read the whole conversation, I actually really liked how that part turned out.**

**Let this chapter serve as an indicator of the difference between what the Louds are facing from the central conflict and their normal lives. I want both the kids themselves and the siblings' lives outside of the conflict to juxtapose the actual conflict. I like the idea of the Louds being successful on their own while having to deal with everything that is going on with their family. So yeah, while I may not bring the harshest of punishments to the Louds (even though incest is NOT something to be celebrated, I hate writing outright downer stories), I'm not about to make everything easy to swallow for them, either, despite the nice things I want to write about for the next few chapters.**

**Speaking of which, you may notice that the next kid wasn't born yet, so expect that next chapter (and since I imagine everyone that is reading this already knows about the Sin Kids AU and the kids that comprise it, you can guess who's up next), as well as a few more sisters getting some time in the spotlight.**


	8. Left Behind

**So...I need to be honest here: I went through a really nasty development struggle with this story and I have a feeling it's not done. I'll get into that more at the end, so for now, here's the next chapter. It's relatively short and there are a couple important plot points discussed. I wouldn't call it my best chapter, but considering the horrible lack of vision I had, I think this is still of good enough quality that it deserves to be posted. Plus, this story needed an update. Hope everyone enjoys.**

**Disclaimer: The Loud House and characters belong to Nickelodeon.**

* * *

The room felt so much bigger now. Only Luna's stuff remained, opening the room up to double the size it was before. It was also quieter, and she wasn't sure if she was happy about that or if she hated it. She couldn't exactly say she slept better, as Luan's sleep-pun-making ended by the time she graduated high school.

She was alone, her roommate now gone, living all the way in California. A combination of chasing potentially lucrative job opportunities and the family's descent into destructiveness drove her away from them. Luna couldn't blame her, though. Honestly, if she was in the mindset of Luan, she'd probably want to get the heck out of dodge as well.

There was a lot of people she felt she could blame for what happened. She could blame Lori. Easy to do, but really, all she was responsible for was throwing things out of order for everyone else. They were all responsible for their own feelings of Lincoln and how they should deal with them. It also would've been hollow because Lori was doing everything she could to redeem herself. She was a good mother when she was around her siblings and Luna could guess that she was a good mother away from the family, too. Loan never exactly looked traumatized, so she had to be doing something right. No, despite setting events in motion, Lori was probably the most virtuous of the sisters who have sinned so far.

She could also blame Lincoln. Luna probably wouldn't have even tried to do what she did if he never gave her the green light to do it. There was the matter of him becoming numb to everything, just accepting that this was the way things were now (he was probably already expecting for when Luan came around), but just before they had sex, he was ranting about how much his sisters were being such pains. The more she thought about it, the more she couldn't get a gauge on what he actually thought. She didn't know if he actually hated them or if he was lusting after them and thought shouting would be his best release. Heck, it was entirely possible that he just wanted to get the encounter with Luna over with, since he might have been expecting it. Really, there was just too much uncertainty with what Lincoln might have been going through to just cast him as the villain here.

No, the only person she really had to blame for this was herself. She constantly thought back to the fight she had with Luan the day before she announced she was moving out. She just couldn't shake off the words Luan said about how, out of everyone in the family that knew about what happened, it would be Luna that would continue the trend of sleeping with Lincoln. She went from being the person who went into a frenzy to yank Lori off of him to yet another sister in the cycle. She was probably the person whose betrayal was the biggest. From all the worry and care she directed towards Lincoln for the past couple years undone to a relationship that was nothing like they once had. There was always going to be that thing now that tainted their relationship and the reminder that was currently growing in her stomach.

She was pulled from her thoughts when she remembered that. She looked down to her belly, too soon into the pregnancy to be rounded just yet. She had been debating a couple times whether or not she should be a trend breaker and get an abortion. She wasn't too concerned with the child's health (Luna went to Lisa after she found out and Lisa assured her that the baby was in proper health), but she was concerned about what she would be reminded of, the single biggest mistake she ever made in her life. She was afraid she'd hate her own child, something a parent should never do. That changed when she remembered the two kids that were already born and how well they were being taken care of. They were absolute joys to have around and Lincoln was never happier than when he was around them. Him and the two girls were just so good as a family that Luna couldn't bear taking another away from him, not when being a father was what gave him the most purpose in life.

It turns out she wasn't alone, after all. She had her child with her, and in a way, it brought a warmth inside of her that she never experienced before.

* * *

With time came the opportunity to emotionally heal. Luna kept occupied with her music and preparing for her child's arrival. Her band was hard at work making their debut major studio album. For as long as she could, she kept her pregnancy a secret from the band, wanting to focus solely on getting as much music out as they could. They were given several months to come up with new music (which was all they really needed), but she wanted to get as many songs as she could out because she was worried that, once everyone found out she was pregnant, they would force her to stay home and focus on her child rather than working on the album. She didn't want that because making the album was what helped take her mind off of things. Ironically, she found it relaxing to work.

This could only be kept up for so long, though. Like every pregnancy, the changes become more apparent the farther a woman is in the process. Things like unusual mood swings and hunger pangs were always going to make people suspicious, but nothing was going to tip people off quite like the woman's stomach. The main thing about the stomach was that she couldn't lie about it. The mood swings and hunger pangs she could chalk up to exercising, physical fitness actually being very important for traveling musicians, but she couldn't say anything like that about her stomach. If she said it was because of weight gains, then that would throw her claims of exercise into question, and it wouldn't be the most believable since her stomach was the only part of her that grew in size.

She had to come clean to her bandmates (even though it was extremely obvious by the time she did). She was pregnant, four months by the time she told them. Sabrina and Brandon responded enthusiastically, while Sam…was more reserved. She wasn't angry or even that upset. What she felt was validation, validation that they made the right call in breaking up. Communication had been an issue for them for a while, and it was one of the reasons why things eventually ended between them, but this was probably the worst case of it. First, Luna hid that she was pregnant from everyone until she could no longer afford to hide it, explaining that she wanted to focus on their music as much as possible before she had to take her inevitable leave for a few months. Understandable, but why was Sam, her ex but still closest friend, left in the dark about this? She got her answer when a second thought came to mind.

Four months ago was when they broke up, the same time Luna would've conceived. While she couldn't be too sure, it was this event that led Luna to officially call her to end things. Now granted, Sam wanted to end things as well, but she was still being faithful (if you could call it that).

Whether Luna was cheating on her wasn't the point, though. Sam had come to the conclusion that their relationship was shot a little bit before they actually broke up. The point was that Luna, even after they broke things off, was still hiding things from everyone, leaving everyone in the dark until it was obvious that she couldn't anymore. Sam just couldn't work herself to be angry about this. This was expected by this point. Sam just resigned herself to this, said "Congratulations", and refocused herself on getting the album done.

Luna couldn't blame her. She wanted to tell her everything. She did…but the kinds of things that were going on with her family were things that no one, not even her own parents, could ever find out about. For literally everyone's sake, these secrets needed to be kept.

And yet, Luna was actually looking forward to having the child. It goes back to her wanting something stable in life to count on, and there was nothing that was better at doing that than a parent's child. With her own kid, she would have someone to always take care of and help remind her of all the good in the world. Learning from the mistakes she made with her relationship with Sam, effort would be made to properly take care of her. She wanted to nurture it, raise it well, have it leave the nest prepared to succeed. As it turns out, what she could count on in life was her maternal instincts.

And her baby wasn't an 'it', it was a 'she'.

Once she found out, she quickly rang up someone who wanted to know as soon as possible.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey sis."

"_Hi Luna. What's the _BUZZ _around here? Hahaha. Get it?"_

"Yeah, I do. Buzz means ring. Your puns are still as shitty as ever."What a time to be blunt.

"_Well, fuck you too." _Same for her.

"Anyway, I have some news."

"_What?"_

"My baby? She's a girl."

"…_You're having a baby girl?" _Luna couldn't see it, but Luan was ready to cry on her end. _"Have you thought of a name yet?"_

"No, but I'm going to." _*Sigh* _"I'm having a girl…" Luna was prepared to cry, too. It seemed like only now did she fully understand what was happening. She really was going to be a mother. Of a little girl, and not just _a _little girl, _her _little girl.

…That…she had with her little brother…

* * *

It turns out that she wasn't the only one in the family to be pregnant, either.

Lori came home this weekend with Bobby to make a big announcement to the whole family. "Guys…we're expecting another child!"

A chorus of 'Congrats!' filled the room as everyone was excited to hear this. The parents were happy to be getting another grandchild while the siblings were celebrating the first normal kid to be born. Now, there didn't have to be an air of awkwardness around the kid. It wasn't that they didn't love the kids already born, but it was kind of hard to wash the taste of "sibling love" out of their mouths. This was also some exciting news considering that it was pretty obvious how Luna got pregnant. She never said anything, but her sisters could take a wild guess. Like Lincoln, with familiarity came emotional numbness, and they just didn't feel like getting upset this time.

Instead, this child was going to be born properly. Bobby and Lori were married, had stable jobs, were good people, and most importantly, weren't related, and in a country where more and more kids were being born out of wedlock, marriage was increasingly seen as pointless, and casual sex was seen as the norm, a baby being born under the most traditional methods may as well have been enough for the sisters to throw the two a ticker tape parade to celebrate.

The only one who was reserved in their celebrating was Lincoln, who was currently holding Loan. While his sister having a baby with the man she loved was unquestionably something great, he was worried about what would become of his own daughter in this new family. He feared that, with Loan being the product of the worst mistake she ever made, she would be seen unfavorably in Lori's eyes compared to a child born of mutual consent and love. Loan didn't deserve having to grow up in a house where she was going to be seen as the odd one. She didn't do anything wrong.

Lori knew this, though. She had a feeling that her brother was going to be the one with the weakest reaction to it all _because of _Loan. Any other circumstance, it's possible that he would've been the happiest sibling, but not in this world. Not with the cards he was given. She had to talk to him one-on-one about this.

She eventually found a moment to pull him aside to talk, taking him into her old bedroom. He brought Loan with him, wanting to get her away from all of the excitement happening downstairs.

"Lincoln, I know you're probably afraid of what's going to happen, but I promise: I will never stop loving Loan. She's still my daughter and I love her to Hell and back."

"You say that now, but how will I know that you still do after you actually do have your child? It's entirely possible that once you have it, Loan's going to look like a mistake in the grand scheme of things."

"Look, I'm not gonna lie. It was awful how she was made, but she was the best thing to come out of it all. Bobby treats her with all the love in the world. She's in good care with us."

"Bobby, I trust, since he doesn't know, but can I trust _you_? You're the one who knows everything that happened."

"You can absolutely trust me. My motherly instincts can back me up on that, and so can Bobby."

"Yeah, like I can validate you based on what you're supposed to do. I can't talk to instincts. All I have to take is your word on this."

"And you have it, Lincoln. You have it. Why wouldn't you trust me on this?"

"…Because of how _we _grew up." A short silence followed. "Eleven kids running around isn't easy for the parents, but we all probably had moments where it felt like that person versus the world. Me being the only boy, Leni being so easy to make fun of because of how she is. Heck, Lucy even told us one time that she felt left out at times and no one cares about what she has to say." Another short silence. "Now, with Loan, she has an even worse quality that's going to make her stand out, and even though it sucked how she was made…" He stared right at Loan with a combination of love and concern. "She's my daughter, and I want to know she's going to be treated well by you guys."

Lori understood. With eleven siblings growing up in the same household, it was possible that some might get lost in the shuffle. Poor Lincoln and Lucy were the ones that always had to suffer from being the odd ones out most of the time, which probably explained why they were so close to each other, but when it came to Loan, she had baggage to her name that was beyond her control. Would Bobby ever find out? No. He couldn't because she didn't trust how he would react. Really, the only person Lori may ever actually tell is Loan, herself. She wasn't in any rush to tell her daughter that, but if she ever felt she could handle the truth, then maybe things would come to light.

In a way, that's what made Loan so special in Lori's eyes. It was the idea that she could handle the truth of what actually happened. She was now expecting a second kid who, like Bobby, could never be trusted. Any kid she had with Bobby would never find out. It's what would always make Loan stand out among her kids, the chance of telling her everything someday. And going beyond that, Loan was Lori's way of fixing things. While it was entirely possible Loan would be looked at in a different way compared to the rest of her kids, if Lori really didn't want her daughter around, then she would've gotten the abortion when Luna tried to convince her to. She also would've never told Lincoln, but every fiber in her being told her that she should confess just so she could get something in the way of closure. Now, she was a dedicated mother wanting Loan to make it in life probably more than Lincoln, and not just because she was looking to repent. Like most women, Lori's maternal instincts were kicked into overdrive when she saw Loan for the first time. She wanted her to be safe, she didn't want to see her hurt, and she hoped she'd be the most successful person to ever exist on planet earth. She really was a mother who wanted to raise her daughter right.

But far be it from her to say that Lincoln didn't have to worry. She saw, first-hand, the bond that both Bobby _and_ Lincoln formed with Loan. The father-daughter bond is something she would never understand, but from what she saw between the two men, they were prepared to lay down their lives in an instant for their daughter. With Lincoln, the bond was particularly strong because it was technically forbidden, making their time together have meaning. For Bobby, it didn't even matter that he wasn't the biological father. He was with her for what seemed like most of the day and was obsessed with taking care of her. Loan had two really good men in her life, and she knew that Lincoln would do anything for his daughter.

Lori noticed that she was getting a bit restless, and looking at the clock in her old room, saw that it was time to feed her. She unbuttoned her shirt to let one of her breasts out and took Loan so she could feed, turning away from Lincoln so he didn't have to see anything, though once he knew what was going on, he turned to the side. While feeding her, Lori said to Lincoln "You're a good father, Lincoln, and we promise to take care of her no matter what."

"Just so you know, if I ever get the feeling that anything is wrong, I'm not going to hesitate to take her and raise her myself."

"And I wouldn't expect anything less."

He was just happy he had the courage to say all of that to her.

* * *

Lincoln was still going to worry. As any father who had a daughter would, nothing was going to satisfy him except the absolute best for her. If she wasn't properly cared for, there were going to be issues. He wished he could be closer to her, but school and a complete lack of money made that impossible to accomplish, at least in the short term. He already has his plan in place for where he was going to college and what he was going to be studying. The University of Detroit Mercy for Architecture. He would've preferred Wayne State, but there was no option to study Architecture there, so he went for the local school that did.

Lincoln was really starting to figure out how he wanted his life to go now that he had kids to think about. He didn't do the typical teenage thing of getting a job during high school because he wanted to spend all of his free time with his daughters. He also found out two big things that were really going to hurt his abilities to see them in the future, too.

Lori approached Leni one day with the prospect of the two moving in together. Leni was making a name for herself with being a designer for Reininger's, designing entire new clothing lines for the company to sell. Lori wanted to help expand on the concepts Leni had already drawn up to create a luxury boutique with locations around the world. Because of this, the two needed to be in frequent contact with each other to both plan and organize everything. It would also allow them to better raise their kids since the opportunity would earn them more money and they would be in a better living situation than the one Leni was currently in. No offense to the rest of the family, but the Louds didn't exactly offer the best living conditions, as it was fairly cramped, and the child would probably grow up confused around so many people.

Leni was all too excited to do it. Her dream was always to be a fashion designer, and while she never cared what kind of clothes she'd make (as long as it was fashionable, she'd design pajamas for all she cared), giving her a chance to possibly create a line that could get her to the runways of New York and Milan was like winning the lottery immediately after getting struck by lightning.

Of course, Lincoln wasn't a fan. That would mean both of his daughters would be away from him…which, honestly, was probably best for both parties involved. It meant there would be much less suspicion at the bond Lincoln and the kids would form, and it would help distant the kids from Lincoln so they wouldn't get too attached to him and start asking questions he may not want ask, questions like "Why can't you be my daddy?" or "Do you know where my dad is?". But while it was the best decision when breaking this situation down, he still never liked saying 'good bye' to them when they left. Even worse for him, this wasn't done yet.

Luna, in her final three months, was getting news that sales and streaming success of songs released by the album so far was bringing in decent money for both the band and Zipfire, and the label was interested in getting them out to LA to be closer to better recording studios and more experienced producers and engineers. Zipfire would help cover the expenses of moving the members out that way, and with a daughter on the way and being the only one of the two that was making money, that would mean more money in Luna's bank account to be used on taking care of her kid. It would honestly be dumb of her to not take the offer up, but she wanted Lincoln to know about it first. After all, he was being left behind in this, easily the farthest any of his kids would be from him…and the move was going to take place before the baby was to be delivered.

Yes, it was going to be a fast move, taking place in less than a month. The label found a good set of apartments for the band to temporarily move into. Nice ones, at that, with the monthly rent cut down after negotiations between Zipfire and the landlords. The reason they wanted to get the move done quickly is because the landlord didn't want to hold the units for any longer than a month. Understandable, considering they want to be paid for units that have people living in them and holding a room with no occupants just means screwing yourself out of potential applicants and cash. It didn't mean the move was going to be taken well by the families of each member, though, especially Lincoln.

"This can't be happening…"

"Lincoln-"

"This can't! Be fucking! Happening!" he shouted, slamming his pillow on his bed with each punctuation.

"I'm sorry Lincoln, but I have to. For the sheer sake of making sure _she's _okay, I need to do this."

"I know that, and I don't like that!" He practically collapsed onto his bed in a fit of anger and grief, letting out a harsh groan as he withered, smashing his pillow against his face.

Was this just how it was supposed to go? Was Lincoln left to just suffer the heartbreak and grief that came with saying goodbye while his sisters just kept them? He knew he wasn't the best person to take care of them right now, but did that mean they all had to move so far away from him? It really didn't help that he felt he was the one that did the least amount wrong in all of this. This felt like really unfair punishment as he was the one left behind while his sisters ran through the wilderness to the city of dreams on the other side. He was going to make it there too, he affirmed to himself, this whole situation convincing him to work at a herculean level so he could give his kids the world. Unfortunately for him, though, he was at least five years away from any stable income, followed by however many years it took him to reach peak payment. For now, he could just watch.

Luna really didn't know how to talk to him now. He completely fell apart after she said everything and nothing she was going to say would seemingly have any effect on making him feel better. He wasn't a kid anymore and he was never the same after all of this started. Talking to him now versus talking to him before was like talking to a completely different person. Maybe it would be best if she just sat with him and tried soothing him for a bit. She took a seat on his bed and put a loving hand on his side, a hand that Lincoln registered as a completely different kind of touch.

He felt every feeling he had on the matter overflow him. He remembered how this always goes, he remembered how it started, he remembered what it led to, and he remembered how it always seemed to end, now. Touch from an older sister only meant pain to him now, the pain of confusion, broken bonds and kids being ripped away.

"Get out" he said from under the pillow.

She thought it was because he hated her right now. "Lincoln, I know you-"

In an instant, Lincoln pushed the pillow right off of him, leaned up, and looked at her with sheer desperation on his face. "Get out!" His breaths were unsteady and he looked terrified. Movement for her was becoming harder because of her pregnancy, but seeing him like that spiked her with fear as well, and she complied, leaving his room to go to hers. Just to be safe, she locked the door this time.

For Lincoln, meanwhile, it seemed like everything that happened was finally starting to hit him in such a way that made him feel like he just survived a really destructive war with nasty scars left behind. His entire mind was flooded with nothing but the images and emotions that all came from these last few, fucked up years. He saw Lori, he saw the dreams, he saw Leni and remembered the act in its entirety. He remembered he allowed it to happen, and he remembered Luna, as well.

It was a hard-hitting conscious nightmare as relived every single moment that defined his status as a father and why he even had kids in the first place. Sitting on his bed, his eyes were wide, his breathing was incredibly heavy, and the only sound he could hear was the ringing, his breaths practically drowned out from it, but not enough that they didn't sound like they were echoing all throughout the house. He was completely panicked, suffering an emotional attack that was intense enough that he barely even saw his own room.

And when he could finally see clearly, again, he looked for his pillow, slammed his head down on it, pulled the covers right over his head, and just screamed.

Whatever sense of normalcy he felt about the situation was now gone as he only felt remorse and fear. It took the news of losing all three kids for him to register the sheer disaster of all of this. Now, he was afraid. Everyone seemed to think that the trauma was behind him, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. It was simply suppressed, waiting for the right moment to come back and hit him.

When he had sex with Leni, that was when he thought he was done. His body had such a bad craving that once the act was finished, it took every negative emotion he felt about the situation down as it got what it wanted, his mind completely oblivious to the obvious problems at hand. He also had a kid near him because of it, and for some reason, his fatherly instincts were stronger than his hatred for the circumstances regarding her birth. Simply put, he had things to distract him, and when Luna was set to leave, he wouldn't anymore. Realizing that, and the touch of someone who contributed to it all, brought everything back, and in that moment, it was all he could feel.

But, like some trauma victims, his behavior was woefully inconsistent. Some days brought fear, some days brought depression, and a lot of days were indifference to the situation. More distractions came in the form of school work (he was never so happy to have homework in his life), sketches, music, and tv. His medication was also handy in helping him out. For now, he felt stable, but it was only a matter of time before the trauma snuck its way back out.

It's why he was actually afraid when Lyra was born. It wasn't fear that was the result of the trauma, but rather the fear of the trauma coming back, afraid of Luna inevitably sending him the picture of Lyra, reminding him of how far away she was from him and why she was even alive to begin with.

Thankfully, when he saw the picture of her, he didn't feel fear; he felt calm, happy even. He was spared that time around, and thank goodness he was. He did not want to be afraid of his own child.

* * *

**I'm really sorry if this didn't feel like a satisfying chapter to read. It took me a few weeks to gain the motivation to write more content for this story, but one thing that happened while I was writing it was that I got struck by a need to change the direction I had.**

**A couple weeks ago, I was reflecting on what I've written for Complex so far, and being completely honest, I'm not sure I'm happy with how the story has gone so far. I thought the first five chapters were great, but despite what I felt was good writing for chapters six and seven, I honestly felt like things with Luna happened with too much leniency. I wrote it with the intention that they committed the act just out of the confusion they felt about everything, but I feel like everything went too smoothly, if that makes sense.**

**It made me think about what I had planned for this story, and when I gave everything a second look, I really didn't like it. I don't want this story to be read as a story where Lincoln and his sisters are meant for each other but obstacles make things difficult. No, I want this story to crush the idea of relationships between them working out. That was the whole point of making Lincoln traumatized to begin with, and it's the cornerstone for what I have planned for Luan (yes, I know I keep teasing it. Sorry).  
**

**To keep things brief, I took a hardline stance against loudcest, and I want this story to convey that. I said in the last chapter that I wouldn't make it a complete downer, and for now, I'm standing by that. But I'm also not going to put filters over anything. I've found a lot of inspiration from a few big stories, including the book _Lolita _and the book/movie _Requiem For A Dream, _and if you've read or seen them, there's your clue for, at least, the foundation for a lot of what's to come, with a little bit of _Alice In Wonderland_ for good measure. Part of the change was bringing the point of Lincoln's psychological damage back into focus, and next chapter will see the damage suffered by someone else in the family. That's a lot of the reason why this chapter is so short, as what's in the next chapter was originally gonna be here, but it turned into something with so much weight that I thought it would be better to put it in the next one.**

**Sorry if this chapter doesn't live up to expectations, and I promise, now that I feel like I have a better gauge on where I want this story to go, I'll work to make the next chapter better. Also, if anyone has any recommendations for plots from books/movies/tv show episodes/other fanfics that involve a character(s) suffering a rabbit-hole situation that could serve as inspiration for this story, go ahead and let me know. **


	9. Welcome to Heartbreak

**I could give a lot of reasons why this chapter took so long, but I'll just condense it down to real life got in the way. Sincere apologies for how long this chapter took.**

**Rather than give my usual drawn out note at the beginning like in the past, I'm just going to ask a question that I want to stick in your head for this chapter and beyond.**

**How would you feel if you were in love with someone you saw get raped?**

**Disclaimer: The Loud House and characters belong to Nickelodeon.**

* * *

There's a lot to be said about what it's like watching a disaster unfold in front of you. Imagine what it was like for the passengers on the lifeboats that could see the Titanic sinking in front of them and they could do nothing about it, only able to watch as the freezing water continued to incapacitate and kill the unfortunate onboard. What if a train derailed on a bridge that caused it to plunge into a ravine, or a plane entered such a steep dive that the pilots couldn't recover it? At least the people on board both would pass quickly.

It's in contemplating thoughts like these that one has to wonder if the people who die in these situations got the better end of things, because the people who live or watch it unfold are haunted by the memories of those events for as long as they live. It couldn't be stopped, and the past can't be changed.

For someone like Lucy, however, the disaster she witnessed was one of the rare occasions where it brought about life, rather than take it away.

She never got over everything that happened with the family for the past three years. Everything that was happening was all sorts of disgusting and cruel, as her brother was put on a path that only spiraled farther into the rabbit hole. She felt bad for him, sure, but she was also becoming more afraid of him. His sanity wavered on a spectrum ranging from completely intact to almost invisible, and because of her silent nature and ability to observe her surroundings, she knew what that materialized as for him. He never physically broke anything, but he would go through episodes where he would become extremely paranoid about being around his sisters, locking himself in his room to do God-knows-what (she really didn't know because, by this time, she was too big to fit in the vents), although his elevated breathing clued her in that a really nasty thought/memory came to mind, and he was either trying to do everything in his power to suppress it or just ride it out until it passed. Plus, their parents were starting to really question the sisters on what they knew about Lincoln, but the most they could ever do was lie by omission, letting their parents know that, in the past, Lincoln had to deal with a lot of issues as a result of his sisters, coming clean on a few occasions but never revealing the big one. The parents were obviously not happy about hearing some of the things said, but they had a hard time coming up with good punishments considering four of their daughters had already moved out of the house, and the pattern they sensed was that having to deal with ten sisters at once put a huge strain on the boy's shoulders. Stuck in a bad spot of lacking equal punishments (they couldn't really enforce a punishment to kids they no longer had jurisdiction over), the parents decided they would let things slide, not being happy at all about how clueless their parenting must have been to let everything happen, at least according to the girls.

Lucy really did feel bad for Lincoln, though. There was no one who had to deal with this in a worse light than him. Women, his sisters, had children with him, each for different reasons, and now all of them were moving away from him and they were taking the kids with them. It was almost systematic in how everything was unfolding, and aside from the kids, there really were no good guys…not even Lincoln.

But Lucy knew better than to just put blame on him and call it a day. There was context to all of this, events playing out that warped him rather than him making these decisions out of the blue. She wanted to talk to him to see how he was handling all of this and maybe, just maybe, she could convince him to try and make himself better.

Too bad that was easier said than done. That wasn't going to stop her from trying, though.

* * *

"Hey Lincoln?" She walked in to see him sitting on his bed, blankly staring at nothing. He was in one of those moods, again.

"What?"

She closed the door behind her and leaned against it. "Are you doing okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Don't play dumb. You know exactly why."

Here comes yet another check-up talk. Lincoln just wished his sisters would realize that their talks did nothing to help, or at the very least, don't make the whole conversation predictable. The talks lost much of their impact when he could start guessing their lines. Add in that they never really turned into genuine conversations and the sisters may as well have not bothered.

"If you don't have anything new to say to me, then leave. I'm really not looking for another 'feel better'."

"I'm not here to do that." She walked over to Lincoln's bed and sat with him. "I promise that I actually want to talk with you. I want to know how you're handling things."

Was this supposed to be a therapy session, then? Lincoln wouldn't mind getting a couple points off his chest, but this was very out of the blue for someone who wasn't known for her persistence in interacting with others. Of course, when it came to Lucy, actual conversation meant she had a close relationship with that person, and as an added bonus, she was really good at keeping secrets, things that the two siblings used to regularly share with each other. Finally, she wasn't Lisa, who put pragmatism above all else, and as such, Lincoln's talks with her may as well have been him talking to a computer program. Lucy, meanwhile, was very human when she listened to others, always showing compassion, understanding, or any emotion that was appropriate for what the person confiding to her. To some, that may seem out-of-character, considering how rooted she was in being goth (even though Lincoln's situation started to make her question those beliefs), but she has much more personality when one gets to know her.

He took in a breath and said "How am I supposed to feel? I was attacked, had a kid, had sex two more times with two other women who just happen to be my sisters, and I get more kids out of it. They all leave, and I can't tell the world what happened not only for the sake of my family, but I'm fairly certain that no one would believe me, anyway. I'd say those are some good reasons to not have a fucking clue how I'm supposed to feel about all of this."

She was not expecting him to go right for the jugular, but she would be lying if she said that him venting this out didn't need to happen. Her talks with Lola a few times confirmed to her that it was probably best to let his attitude cycle play out like this, lest he lets it build up and risk it coming out in the form of a complete blow-up.

Now the tricky part for her was to respond to this properly. She didn't want to drive him to the point of a complete blow-up because she said the wrong things, either, a fear every sister in the house shared after Lisa talked with them about handling someone suffering from PTSD, as the severity of the symptoms may make them liable to scary reactions and behaviors.

"Lincoln, no one blames you for any of this."

"Why? I consented _both _times after Lori got done with me. I'm complicit at least a little bit in all of this, and it's because of me that two more kids were born."

Lincoln was officially going into uncharted territory. If he was complaining about his own kids being born, he really was at a low point. Good thing most of the family was out shopping right now. This would have been a really bad thing for everyone to hear.

"Don't you love them, though?"

"Of course, I do. They're my kids. But they deserved to be born under so much better circumstances. Could you imagine if they actually found out who their father was, having to constantly shoulder the weight of what I did and keep it a secret?"

"But you didn't start this."

"No. I didn't. Lori did, but I made things much worse than they should've turned out."

Turns out Lincoln's old character never did leave him. He was still the kid who was willing to own up to the mistakes he made and would rather shoulder the blame than let others do it. Lucy, however, knew better than to let him feel like this. He may be ready to take responsibility, but the sisters still had their part, and the roles they played was the bottom part of the iceberg, in Lucy's eyes. Like he said, Lori started this. Leni then dowsed the flames with gasoline by doing what she did, which easily stands as the single dumbest decision she ever made, and it wasn't even a contest. Luna's decision wasn't far behind. Sure, Lincoln may have consented, but consent is a two-way street that Leni and Luna should've realized. If an abuse victim consents to something because they don't know any better, they are being taken advantage of, and Lucy, completely overcome with how important her older brother was to her in her life over the years, refused to lay much, if any, blame on Lincoln.

"Lincoln, look at me." She got up and grabbed his face to make sure he was. "You. Did. Nothing. Wrong. All of this is because of our sisters. They should've known better than to do what they did to you, even if you said 'yes' to them."

While Lincoln heard the words, his focus was more on Lucy's touch, a touch that, like last time, made his blood pressure rise. However, rather than feel the panic he felt when Luna touched him, he felt determined anger, directed at himself, to not let his younger sisters get mixed up in this seemingly ever-increasing mess, so he swatted her arms away from him.

"Lucy, for everyone's sake, don't touch me."

Seeing the series of events her brother went through over the years was nothing short of tragic. While there were still inclinations of Lincoln's former self, gone was the happy older brother he was when he was eleven and she was eight. He was more direct, more pessimistic, less apologetic, and way more unpredictable. _Eleven and Eight. _Boy, were those days a distant memory compared to who they were now? While there was no shortage of stupid drama the siblings got into back then, that was a hell of a lot more preferable to what life was like now. She was probably the sister that was the least offensive to him back in those days, but that didn't mean she still felt like she had something to do with all of this.

"…I'm sorry." He turned his head back up to her. "If I ever did anything to hurt you in any way, I'm so sorry."

He knew why she was doing this, and he also knew how out of the way she was for much of his life. "Trust me, out of everyone, you were probably the best at not making things more difficult."

"But all those times I joined the sisters in ganging up on you or doing something stupid-"

"Still would've happened if you weren't around. If there were nine of you, I still would've gotten my ass handed to me."

"And I don't like it. One of us should've stood up for you…_I _should've-"

"Can you please stop? I already had this conversation with Luna, and I don't want to keep hearing 'sorry' so much."

"But-"

"Lucy, I appreciate the apology, but I don't want to keep hearing this from everyone. Let's just respect each other's spaces and things will be fine."

Yeah, right. 'Fine' isn't incest.

"No, it's not fine." Thinking about this finally let Lucy break a few walls down, and show emotion. A few filters were cleared as Lucy raised her voice to a higher octave than usual and just said what she needed to say. "Nothing is fine. Everything sucks right now, Lincoln. _WE _started this mess and there is nothing that can fix this!"

It was Lucy's turn to vent her frustrations about everything that's happened. She was quiet and not known to reveal too many insecurities or negative thoughts about things around her, except for when her goth persona demanded she do with quotes about how life, in general, sucks. However, she did little to actually get emotional over things that really did bother her, although every now and then, Lynn heard her speaking emotionally when they were trying to sleep (whether Lucy was actually awake or not was something Lynn was never able to figure out). But now she did, and with years upon years of holding up any sort of peak emotion, she was bound to let loose in a way no one would expect from her. It's just what happens when emotions are locked up for too long.

"I wanted so bad to believe that things would go back to the way they were, but there's just no way they possibly can. I'll never be able to look at our sisters the way ever again and I know that you won't, either. Not with what they've done. I tried to believe so many times that there was a way for you to turn back into the brother that I knew you as. Always happy, always cheerful, always caring. I know I'm selfish for wanting that, but I don't like who you've become, now. I don't like what the whole family has become, now. We've had to keep so many secrets from everyone and I'm just not sure I can handle any more of this."

Lincoln just resigned himself to listen to his sister blow out her lines to him. It was clear to him this was something she needed to get off her chest. As cold as he became in the previous years, he still felt brotherly instincts towards his sisters, specifically his younger ones. As reserved as he became to the sensation of touch, he decided to go ahead and give her a hug, hoping it would be enough to calm her down a little.

"It's okay, Lucy. Right now, things really are. Remember, whatever you're going through right now can't be worse than what happened to me." Lincoln wasn't exactly known to be a wordsmith, but that last sentence really rubbed Lucy the wrong way.

"Why do you have to make this about yourself?"

He loosened his hug on her to look down at her, legitimately confused. "What do you mean?"

"Do you actually think you're the only one affected by all of this? Do you really think things start and end with you?" She pushed him away saying all of this, and now, it was Lincoln's turn to get worked up over the assumption that Lucy was, somehow, dealing with more turmoil over the whole thing than he was.

"In case you forgot, _I _was the one who got raped! How can you even think that what you're going through is worse than-"

"I SAW WHAT HAPPENED!" Lucy had no control over herself anymore. She just started crying, the only reserve she granted herself being just enough composure to be able to formulate words. "…H-How could you s-say that? I-I s-saw. I saw…"

She felt betrayed by what he said. After Lori confessed, he was told everything about that night, and that included the fact that if Lucy hadn't saw, then no one knows if the whole thing would've even been discovered to begin with. And even if he forgot that, then he should've, at least, remembered how close she was to him for the years that followed his rape. How she clinged to him like Velcro, how she was always afraid to see him leave the house, how she accepted every decision he made regarding how to handle Lori and the kid, and how she attempted to always try and help him see something good in the fallout from everything…including his consenting to the next two encounters. She was like everyone else in that she just got tired of being upset when it was Luna's turn, but she was willing to live with all of this if it meant Lincoln would be happy.

But underneath everything she felt lied a particularly nasty feeling that she was struggling with more than anything else, a feeling of self-hatred for not being able to do more for him. Why couldn't her little sister mode have kicked in earlier? If it was just Lori, then fine. That one had all kinds of messed up context, but at least she could live with the fact that it wasn't really a fully conscious decision. What do the other two count as? Lincoln said yes. She knew that just by the fact that there wasn't any trauma afterwards. In fact, he seemed to get better…and that was the worst aspect of all of this.

If she had just acted and tried to help him in a better way, if she could've stopped any of this, then maybe he could've recovered in a healthier manner, but she didn't know what to do. She had no clue how to properly help him and held herself back from making any big decisions that could've improved the situations in a much better fashion.

She saw, "…b-but I didn't d-do anything."

She was carrying a massive burden that hung over her like it was a developing hurricane. She was never able to get over the deep hatred she felt for thinking she wasn't able to do anything that night. She may have thought then that she couldn't do anything, but the more she thought back, the more she didn't care. She should've rushed in, hit Lori, run full-speed at her to try and get her off of him. Instead, she panicked, and while she didn't know when it happened, maybe if she acted sooner, then Loan never would've been conceived, and all of this may not have happened.

By extension, that meant that Luan may not have moved away as early as she did. Lucy knew the main reason was to get away from Lincoln and that only added to her guilt. She felt it was because of her that her mentor and closest sister left. This whole thing was on her.

She looked right at Lincoln, clearly seeing him with no hairs in the way of one of her eyes, and simply let out a weak "…I'm sorry" before booking it out of his room and to her own. Whatever a completely broken Lucy looked like in the minds of people, this was probably worse than that.

Lincoln was left feeling angry, shocked, and really stupid right now. How could he be so dumb as to throw that line in about her possibly forgetting what happened? He knew she saw what happened. It was one of the first things Luna told him about what she witnessed that night. He was spared any bad memories about it due to the fact that he was knocked out, but Lucy had to be completely traumatized by what happened. He also admitted earlier that Loan, Liena, and his coming daughter should not have been born like this. What he wouldn't give to have their genetics completely rebuilt from scratch and given different parents so they could experience life like normal kids.

Now, there were aspects of all of this that weren't completely terrible, at least in his eyes. He knew he was doing a lot wrong considering the girls he was chasing after but at least there was consent. Plus, the children showed no sign of abnormalities so the biggest reason to hate incest wasn't actually present within the kids. Of course, there was little to be justified in that regard, and if he wanted to be completely honest with himself, the kids weren't the main reason he was doing this multiple times. By the time he did it with Luna, he would actually hazard to say he liked it…a lot, and that feeling, whatever it was that made sex so enjoyable, was the one thing eating at him that made him hold off from denouncing it entirely.

Lincoln's mind was in a tug-of-war situation where he wanted it to keep going because of how good it felt but wanted it to stop because he knew the relations and what his sisters did in the past. It was a fight between staying a family and being a good brother (which is why he hated the idea of sleeping with his younger sisters), and just giving in because it's what his body wanted. One would think he would have enough reasons to say 'no' to continuing what was going on, but you'd be surprised how hard it is to break a habit that is so bad but feels really freaking good. And if he had any sort of defense, it was that his whole being was really thrown out of whack because of when Lori actually did what she did. If he was awake, he probably would've, at least, recognized that she was drunk, maybe have a talk with her and, worst case scenario, fight her off, but because of how far she got, it caused a wave of conflicting thoughts and feelings about it.

At the end of the day, though, the easiest conclusion to come to about this whole thing was that this should not have happened, and he just made his little sister cry because he couldn't get his head straight to think about her concerns. She wanted to help him, admitting she was left traumatized from what happened as well, and he just callously brushed it off because he thought she was trying to compare hers to his.

He was just angry at everything. She walked in on him having one of those days he just hated the universe/God/spiritual force in charge for letting all of this happened. He let out a hard yell, his feelings from the beginning of the day now compounded, and stormed out of his room. He wasn't sure where the best place to go for what he wanted to do next, but one thing was clear to him: driven by sheer anger, he needed to get this emotions in check, somehow, and right now, he thought the best way to do that would be to break something.

What he would break, though, he didn't know, but he needed to do it, for the sake of not letting his emotions drive him to go from harmlessly breaking things to vent, to actually destroying precious valuable the family had. Even in this state, he was smart enough to not just go ahead and break the nearest lamp because that would have to be replaced. He was thinking of breaking a couple of Lynn's old hockey sticks and baseball bats, since she never used them anymore and moved on to using better equipment, and made a beeline for the backyard.

He had to get through the kitchen to get to the backyard and on his way out, he actually noticed something that may actually be better. It was the recycling bin, filled with glass bottles from a variety of drinks both the kids and their parents drank, from simple pop bottles to beer bottles. They were glass bottles, perfect for throwing against the fence. He grabbed the bin and headed outside, angrily grunting as he threw the bottles one by one, the glass shattering on impact and scattering across a small portion of the backyard. Lana recently replaced the chain-link fence with a wooden one, so no shards made it over to a neighbor's property.

He needed to do this. Talking wasn't cutting it anymore. All it was doing was making things worse with his sisters or just repeating the same thing over and over again, and nothing ruins the impact of something quite like repetition. He got everything off his chest, but that's all he was doing. There was nothing in simply talking to his sisters that was positively affecting him. He didn't feel bothered taking the next step in healing and his sisters weren't doing anything to give him the actual help he needed. For now, this was as good and therapeutic of an act as he was going to accomplish in a long time.

For Lucy, she heard the shattering and grunts outside, but she didn't bother checking it out. She was too caught up in the exchange she just had with him. It went wrong, very wrong. She went in expecting a hard, but necessary talk that ended with the two siblings giving each other a hug. What she got was Lincoln honing in on his insecurities to put himself down and accuse Lucy of not caring about how he feels. She honestly wasn't sure if he was right or not. He was the main victim and she made the mistake of pushing him away in anger over him not considering her feelings. It was in a fit of rage and sadness, but she had to remember that Lincoln was the first priority. She was dealing with some pretty bad thoughts and they needed to be dealt with, but like Lincoln said, he had much worse to deal with. He was trying to make her feel better and put her thoughts into perspective, but she was too upset to see that.

Worst of all, she did something she hoped to never do in front of him: she suffered a complete breakdown. Her emotions were laid full-bare for him to see and if there was one case where it would've benefitted her to not show much emotion other than compassion, it would've been that one. Instead, the walls came down fully by what could only be described as emotional destruction. Her mind collapsed at the thought of her siblings committing incest, and from there, it would just get worse for her.

Now in her room, she was left a crying mess as she tried to come to terms with everything. Everything was going wrong and she could only stand back and watch, just like how she felt on that first night. She was never going to get over that. The more she thought about it, the more disgusted she felt. She should've helped, but believed getting help was the better option and it may very well have made the situation so much worse than it could have been. Of all the bad things she did to Lincoln, she was honestly debating if this was the worst thing she had done. She may have been the best to Lincoln over the years, not hurting him nearly in the same way as the rest of their sisters, but she wasn't clean. All ten of the sisters seemed to do all they could to make Lincoln's life a living hell growing up and Lincoln was never fazed by it at all.

It was the very thing that made her fall in love with him to begin with.

He could tank what they threw at him and still figure out a way to either make things better or get off better than he probably should've. He had a character to be envied and Lucy absolutely loved that about him. It shouldn't have happened, but, somehow, it did. She probably would've never realized it without Lincoln suffering something of this magnitude, and it would've been for the best. She can't say that, now. She knows her feelings and she knows that her sisters share her feelings. They went from having typical sibling squabbles that Lincoln seemed to get the worst of to damn near destroying the entire family, and while none of them have actually told him how they feel about him, saying it may very well add more fuel to the fire and introduce even more trouble than was already happening. It was the very definition of forbidden love, and now Lucy had to live with it, living with watching someone she truly loves undergo something traumatizing, not doing more than she did, and knowing she cannot admit that love to him because this isn't the guy she should've fallen for.

All she could do was cry. For the rest of the day, she refused to leave her room. She didn't leave when the shattering ended, she didn't leave when she was called for dinner. She just stayed lock up in her room, lying on her bed, wishing she had a time machine.

* * *

"Lisa" he said, not even bothering to knock.

"Greetings, brotherly and broken unit. Care to dispel any more undesirable thoughts from your cerebral cortex?"

"Listen, Lice. I want these sessions to end. I think we can agree that they aren't doing a single thing to help me out, and quite frankly, I'm getting really tired of just saying what-the-hell-ever during these sessions."

"I would advise against that, dear sibling. While you may view these meetings as mere exposition sessions, therapy has a proven track record of helping patients come to terms with their predicaments and taking the first steps towards recovery."

"Lisa, we've been doing this for _three years _now. If this was supposed to help me, I'm guessing it would've happened much earlier."

"Some patients just take longer to rationalize these things."

If the talk with Lucy and the bottle throwing from earlier today convinced Lincoln of anything, it's that Lisa was doing almost jack-shit to help him get better. It was come in, talk, get told to keep taking his meds (Lincoln was _this _close to asking for a new medication just so he could look forward to something new), and leave. There was no redirecting to other sources deemed helpful, no support groups, no 'I promise things will get better', just get this crap over with and leave. She has said that she has dabbled in the soft sciences, and 'dabbled' really was the word to describe her relationship with psychology; she had a therapist's ability to diagnose certain psychological issues, but had almost no ability to help someone through it.

"No. I'm the farthest from knowing how the whole process works, but I know damn well that this should've worked out better. If it did, I probably would've been able to say 'no' to Leni. I'm done!"

Her voice was slow, but stern. "Lincoln, I'm telling you that you shouldn't do this. You need to keep doing this."

"And what if I don't? What would actually change if I stopped doing this? You're a genius, Lisa. You, above all other people, should know what the actual outcome of this should be, because frankly, what's been happening shouldn't be happening!"

Lisa was a very prideful person who hated having her intelligence thrown at her face, but in this case, Lincoln was putting her in a bind. The truth was that she actually _did_ know that her method of therapy wasn't working too well. What she was actually doing was hoping that, by having him constantly tell her his problems, something might snap and he would be able to come to some sort of enlightening that would lead him to have made better decisions. She wasn't trying to be uncaring by just telling him to take his medication. Growing up with her intelligence may have helped her gain fame, but it did very little to actually help her sympathize with people. Her telling him something as practical as taking some pills was really all she _could _tell him. It was all she knew what to do. There was the option of screwing around with the chemicals in his body to temporarily spike his mood, but that would go against the ethics of science she abided by, in particular, the fact that spiking his hormones would effectively force him to live a lie. He may be happy, but that wouldn't cause the memories of what happened to go away, and the thoughts of that combined with his random happiness might cause him to go insane from thinking he might be happy about being traumatized.

There was also the option of erasing his memory of everything that happened entirely, but that would mean his emotional bonds with his daughters would be completely gone as well, and he loved them too much to willingly give that up. Plus, it did nothing to actually erase what his sisters did, who would never be able to be one hundred percent comfortable around him ever again. Could Lisa erase the minds of her sisters, too? If she did, then what would happen to the kids? Murder was completely off the table and Lori had a family now, and Bobby would question how Lori forgot her own daughter existed. Included in all of this would be trying to explain to Lincoln what happened to the three years he effectively forgot happened.

Simply put, there were way too many unknowns in these thoughts to make them worthwhile. Her only option really was to just let all of this play out. That meant relying on her psychological expertise, but as mentioned previously, she was awful at being a therapist. She may be super smart, but she was still presented with problems she couldn't effectively solve.

"Lincoln, I want you to get better. As your full-blood sibling, it pains me whenever you are hurt. Please, just give it time and I promise, things will get better." Unfortunately for her, he was not about to be convinced otherwise.

"…Are you dense? How can you actually believe this is working for me?"

"I have to get back to my studies. I do not wish to discuss this matter with you any longer. A week from today. Please, do not make me remind you."

"…No."

"Lincoln, this is not up for debate. You're sick and you need help."

"Fine! I'll admit I do, but I won't be from you."

"What other choice do you have, brother?"

"Plenty of people who don't sound like computer programs, for one." He was a bit quieter when he said that. Clyde came to mind for general venting, while his other sisters allowed him to blow out the lines whenever he needed and responded with compassion.

"I'm the only person you know that's qualified to give you professional help!"

"Your diploma means jack if you suck at your job, Lisa."

"Lincoln, please!" It was at this point that she had a similar episode to Lucy, running to him and embracing him in a tight hug, crying with emotion that he was not used to seeing from her. "Just let me help you…" She sniffled a bit before saying the most revealing sentence she may have said to someone. "I need to do this."

Lisa was the other person who couldn't get past the guilt of not doing anything that night or anything, in general, to make the family's life easier in the past. Selfishness ran deep in the veins of the family and she had the offense of possibly being responsible for most of the physical damage caused by a single person's actions to the home and, sometimes, her family's health. When she wasn't using her grant money to pay for home improvement to her room after explosions, she was secretly harvesting the vestigial organs of her family for experimentation. She had Lincoln's appendix, Lori's gallbladder, Luna's wisdom teeth, Luan's tonsils, she even took her own mother's ovaries after her tubal ligation operation was completed. All of this done in the name of science without even asking for the person's consent as she knocked them out even harder while they were sleeping.

Of course, nothing beats her sin of sloth that was her just watching on camera Lori commit several crimes against Lincoln, doing nothing but thinking of a way to act rather than actually act. Like Lucy, she didn't have the physical strength needed to take on Lori one-on-one proper, but doing something would've been better than just being paralyzed with fear and trying her damnest to think of something to fight Lori, some ideas of which would've landed her in prison. And the worst part for her? She believed it wouldn't have been any different if it had been two of her other siblings. It could've been Luna, Lana, Luan, whoever; she didn't trust herself to actually act for any of them. She was good at thinking, but her acting wasn't the best, especially when you account for all of the failed experiments.

It was a terrible thought to think about, being the resident genius who had a powerful mind but an awful will. It didn't matter how groundbreaking a discovery for her was, she chose family every time. It was why she was so determined to, at least, try to help Lincoln through this; she wanted to prove to everyone and herself that she still had the capability to help just one person through a particularly dark moment in their life. Right now, though, she couldn't have felt like more of a failure. Her flawed system was exposed and her inadequacies were laid full-bare as she had now had to come to terms with the fact that she couldn't help her brother the way she wanted to.

And Lincoln knew better than to continue this for the sake of making her feel better, especially in the mood he was in at the current moment.

"I'm sorry, Lisa, but for both of us, we have to stop with these talks. I won't be coming next week." He did stay, though, hugging her until she was able to calm down a little. He learned from the mistakes he made earlier with Lucy to not make the situation worse by sounding selfish or uncaring, especially when he just got on Lisa's case for doing just that.

If there was any good to come out of this, it's that he didn't have to worry about Lisa being another mistake for the two of them to make. He was against sleeping with his little sisters and would never dare try to make a move on them, and neither would the two youngest sisters, Lisa having lost all amorous thoughts for other potential suitors as her passion for her studies only intensified with age, while Lily was too young to remember the family's darkest days and her brother's fortitude back then. For Lisa, though, tonight was important for her as she finally felt some feelings she hadn't felt in a long time. It reminded Lincoln that, for all of her objective analysis and practical decision-making, she was still very much human, his sister, who shouldn't be looked at as anything other than that for him. Lisa finally felt again for what seemed like ages, and honestly, she needed this. She needed to be reminded of her own shortcomings so she could learn and correct her behavior. Maybe if she showed herself to have done her homework, after this, and learns what it means to help people with any level of trauma, he may consider coming back. For now, though, they both just needed a break.

* * *

There was something in Lincoln, that night, that felt angry and unfulfilled. In just a day, he made two of his sisters suffer breakdowns (both of whom were sisters that had a history of suppressing emotions) and, being who he was, it wasn't going to stop eating at him easily. He had to with Lisa, though. Going several years through therapy with no sorts of progress was nothing more than a waste of time, and Lincoln, even after calling the sessions off, was still incredibly bitter about it. On top of everything, he never made an effort to check on Lucy because of a combination fear of past mistakes, not wanting to put her in a vulnerable situation, and the possibility that she probably just didn't want to talk with him for the rest of the night, anyway. Lisa was able to calm down, though, so at least he didn't have to worry about her.

He had a lot on his mind, and it was working him up to aggressive levels like earlier today. Unfortunately for him, it was night, so breaking bottles was completely out of the question. In fact, there was little he could do to relieve his anger in general, as it would just wake everyone up.

…Unless he polished a bottle off.

His parents did have a decent amount of beer in the fridge, as they didn't need to sacrifice as much room for general food like they did when all eleven kids were still there. One bottle gone wouldn't cause a big stir. Besides, he needed to do something. What's wrong if he was three years underage. Many teens younger than him have already gotten drunk, so he wasn't exactly preparing to commit an unheard-of offense.

Should he be doing this, though? Probably not, but what else was he going to do? Not much of an option when it's 10:45 and pretty much everyone in your family is asleep, unless the idea of completely destroying a pillow was sound. Not for Lincoln, who spent his afternoon breaking bottles against a fence, which brought about so much more satisfaction than punching a pillow, so the exertion would feel extremely hallow.

Ah, screw it. Take one beer and leave. That should be plenty, considering he never drank before, and considering the really stupid stuff his family did while drunk, he wasn't about to find out what he was capable of and add his own name to that list. One beer, done.

He went down to the kitchen and opened his fridge to see about eleven bottles perfectly chilled. He grabbed one, searched around for a bottle opener, and cracked it open. It wasn't how he imagined having his first beer, but hey, what else was he going to do?

One sip and he knew instantly he wasn't going to enjoy himself. It was bitter, a far cry from the kinds of tastes his taste buds were used to. Were it not for the alcohol, he would've just emptied it in the sink. However, once the alcohol kicked in, he felt a lot better than before. The depressant part of the substance kicked in and he no longer felt like breaking anything. In fact, this was one of the better feelings he had since all of this started. It wasn't like a complete high or anything, but it was a solid mood lift that he was looking to achieve.

He wasn't about to push his luck, though, knowing full well the consequences of getting completely drunk, so he stuck to his laurels and downed only one bottle, making his way back upstairs and locking himself in his room to just feel the effects out until he needed to pee and eventually go to bed. He was just happy only one beer was needed to make him feel better.

Unfortunately, that one beer worked too well for it to be a one-time thing.

* * *

**Part of what I want to go for in this story is an authentic look at how something like what Lincoln experienced can affect both him and those around him. Lucy and Lisa, being the one's who witnessed it take place, needed a chapter that explained what they were going through and the turmoil and trauma they, themselves, feel, too. After all, Lincoln wasn't the only one affected.**

**And yes, for those curious, Lincoln will not be hooking up with Lisa or Lily, as I've always viewed Lisa as more or an asexual (yes, I know there's evidence against that, but I just thinks she works better that way), and I just don't have it in me to put Lily though this as well, especially since, as of this chapter's publishing, I would effectively be writing her blind with no canon personality traits to go off of. Plus, being the youngest, even by this story's standards, that wouldn't accomplish much for me in terms of a satisfying narrative.**

**My apologies if Lincoln isn't coming across as the most authentic trauma victim. The thing about trauma is that you're essentially writing around five different characters held up under one body, so of course, their attitude is going to be the most inconsistent thing in the world. It's another case of me probably biting off more than I can chew for this story, but considering the ever-growing number of Loudcest fics (not trying to sound mean. Several of the authors who write them are quite talented), a story such as this one, I feel, is one that needs to exist, if anything, for the sake of balance.**

**Thanks for reading. I can't predict future updates now that college is back under way (especially considering that I have four classes where writing is a major component of the course), but I promise to keep writing when I feel the drive to. Hope to see you all next time!**


End file.
